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Tara
Beginner September 2021

2021 wedding?

Tara, on June 15, 2020 at 1:24 AM Posted in Community Conversations 2 21
Posting on here to hopefully find some glimmer of hope. My fiancé and I have been together for 10 years and got engaged last fall. Our wedding was originally planned for August 8th 2020, and obviously due to COVID, we postponed to May 2021. While the stress and worry of wondering if things will be better in August has gone away, a new stress demon of wondering if 2021 will even be okay has taken over. I would be absolute devastated if we had to cancel again.


Anyone else feel the same? I keep going back and fourth on “it’ll be totally fine, a year is a long way away!” to “omg this is really serious and no way can we go back to having normal gatherings”. I’ve just dreamed of this day for so long, and in no way do I want to have to cut my guest list or do a virtual wedding (I get so mad when people recommend that), I just really hope next year works out! Since I don’t have anyone else in my life right now going through this problem, I thought I would post this to see what others think of this issue. Much love!

21 Comments

Latest activity by Michelle, on August 28, 2020 at 8:49 PM
  • M
    Legend June 2019
    Melle ·
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    Aw I understand that there’s a lot of uncertainty in the moment. To be truthful there’s no telling when things will be normal vs there being a new normal. It’s just the kind of thing where you just have to plan and move forward and hope for the best :/ sorry if that isn’t like what you’re hoping to hear. Best of luck for you!
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  • Caitlin
    Expert January 2021
    Caitlin ·
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    Im feeling some depression and uncertainty as well because im already married (we had a small ceremony last september), so the whole point of us throwing this wedding that were spending thousands of dollars on is simply for the guests to enjoy and celebrate the day with us. im unsure on what i want to do yet (havent even booked my venue because im so nervous - debating on january 2021, which is the month of my dreams, or july 2021) so youre not the only bride experiencing this. im so ready for life to return to normal because the unpredictability of covid is destroying everything for us excited brides. choosing a direction is so nerve-wracking, but things will work out in the end. good luck to you!!! Smiley smile
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  • Sexypoodle
    Master October 2021
    Sexypoodle ·
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    We’re postponing from October 2020 to October 2021 🥳 In our case, it wasn’t worth having a destination wedding weekend in Vegas with event restrictions, and as cases increase. Life might not be normal by 2021. But hopefully it’s more manageable and comfortable by next Fall, and the virus wont be as new.
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  • Michelle
    Expert May 2021
    Michelle ·
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    I totally understand! There really is no knowing. My hope is that at least the world is better dealing with the virus by that point, or fingers crossed a vaccine. I am not holding my breath for a vaccine any time soon. Maybe a treatment will be developed while we wait for a vaccine. I am currently trying to move my November 2021 wedding to May 2021, and I agree with you. While I don’t have to worry about November. What will it look like in 8-10 months from now? It’s just a new lengthy stress lol. But starting to think about my plan B if I can’t do the DW is making me feel better. I need to be in control, not covid lol So if I make backup plans and don’t let the stress take me over, things will work out either way. I’m sure a LOT of things related to covid will change over the next 6 months. Emotional roller coaster continues. Sending you all my good energy! Good luck with your special day 💕

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  • Jasmine
    Master August 2021
    Jasmine ·
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    I keep going back and forth as well. I'm excited one minute and the next I'm anxious and start overthinking. We're already on our second date change (pre covid) so we'd really hate to have to postpone a 3rd time. We're just taking it one day at a time and hoping for the best.

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  • Stacey
    Super May 2021
    Stacey ·
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    Unfortunately, no one even knows what next month will look like, let alone next year. The best we can do is continue planning, focus on what we can control, and hope for the best. We are very fortunate that we know this could be a possibility rather than be blindsided at the last minute like so many others were this year. My best advice for 2021 brides 1) Create your contingency plan now so you can mentally prepare. No one wants to cut their guest list, but if you prepare that scenario now, it will be one less point of stress if the rug gets pulled out from under us next year. 2) READ YOUR CONTRACTS. 3) Consider wedding insurance - no it won't cover anything related to COVID (literally nothing, including vendor bankruptcies/lost deposits), but as crazy as this year as been, you never know what's coming next and will have some assurance in place if something else disrupts your plans (i.e. a parent is hospitalized, a tornado hits the venue the day before the wedding, etc).

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  • Martha
    Devoted February 2024
    Martha ·
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    I think you are absolutely right, we need to keep hope but also have a plan in place in case of anything. All we can do is be as prepared as we can be.

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  • RaylaSan
    Expert February 2021
    RaylaSan ·
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    My wedding is in Feb. 2021, and I was major stressing about the whole thing. I just realized that there is no point in worrying about something that was several months away, since I could not do anything about it, unless I wanted to cancel the entire wedding.
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  • J
    Expert May 2021
    Jaime ·
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    I postponed from July to May 2021. Honestly I am not stressing yet. I'm not under any idea that things will be better next year, but I've seen how quickly things can change in a month so there will no doubt be changes over the next year. Hopefully we will learn more about how to host events safely, maybe there will be treatments to lessen the awfulness of the virus, etc. I was under so much stress leading up to my original wedding in July and I simply do not want to go back to that feeling any time soon!

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  • Anna
    Super August 2020
    Anna ·
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    Our wedding is also August 8th, 2020 and we now have a rescheduled date of August 1, 2021. We are still worried. We are getting married on our original 2020 date though, so some of the stress is removed due to the sheer fact we are still getting married (just with our parents/witnesses). My fiancé was so worried about 2021 that he required a backup date of 2022 be worked into our new contract. Personally, I think if we have to postpone the 2021 reception we will just cancel it completely. I feel that at some point the momentum and excitement will be gone. Plus, then people are attending a wedding of a couple who got married 2 years prior... It just would feel weird to me.. but maybe I'll feel differently when the time rolls around.

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  • V
    Devoted August 2020
    Valerie ·
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    You are not alone! We made the decision last month to postpone our wedding till next year. As states start to open up, I second guess our decision whether we should have waited it out a little more or if it was the right move to push to next year. There’s also the part of next year still not getting back to normal and having to push it forward again so it’s like a double edged sword of worry for me. Do what you think is right and deal with it the best way you can. Things are so beyond any of our control you shouldn’t be hard on yourself!
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  • Kayse
    Expert December 2020
    Kayse ·
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    I feel the same way! I was supposed to get married Saturday, but we postponed to December. Initially I felt a lot better, but now I don't know what December might look like. I just try not to think about it too much. I have a good feeling that things will work out, but the not knowing is difficult. Good luck!

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  • Rita
    Beginner March 2021
    Rita ·
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    My wedding is March, 2021 which is the end of flu season and it makes me so nervous! It’s definitely causing me anxiety! You’re not alone but I’m hoping for the best for all of us brides!
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  • K
    Savvy June 2021
    Kyna ·
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    Ours is June 4, 2021 and I totally feel the same way you are feeling. Everyone I talk to thinks I'm crazy and are 100% confident next year will be fine, but as time goes on... and each month passes, it gets hard to say. I started feeling this way back in March/April when this all started and I couldn't really find any forums or topics on people worrying about next year like I was (because at the time, all the spring 2020 weddings were shuffling to 2021... so everyone had confidence next year would be fine and back in March, we all thought this was a very temporary thing... nope). I ended up deciding to scramble to book my vendors, ask COVID-19 refund questions and we now have 95% of everything booked and ready to go. It's just a thought in my mind that we COULD have to either eat the cost on some deposits (get the refunds where we can), or postpone (which all vendors are allowing us to do in the hopefully rare event). We aren't making any massive venue or vendor payments, and when that time comes, we'll have a legitimate discussion with the venue/vendors on this topic to ensure we aren't throwing money away. And of course, guests would understand. These are unique times.

    I have slowly eased into the acceptance stage and I don't worry as much. I am still worrying sometimes, and the thought crosses my mind from time to time, but as we start to see things open up, society start to deal with the virus in a "new" normal, I have some hope by that next year, we will be living with it but have some sort of "handle" on it and will know much more about this.

    Just ask the right questions to your vendors, look for vendors that are doing the right thing right now, make sure you have cancellations on hotel rooms, all that good stuff. No matter what, this will pass.

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  • Amanda
    Dedicated June 2021
    Amanda ·
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    Yes I am feeling this. Already postponed from June to August and now August till next June. I just keep thinking to myself now I don’t have to stress, but our governor also announced no dance floors until a vaccine is produced. So basically I could be right back here next year?! It’s very stressful especially when you have so much money, time, and effort into something. I may just have at least a ceremony this year and be married just Incase we can’t have a party next year because we have been waiting for 2.5 years already
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  • Tara
    Beginner September 2021
    Tara ·
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    Thank you all for sharing your thoughts! After weeks and weeks of anxiety, stress, staying up late watching the news and crying- I finally decided that I was going to stop all the worrying and just put it out there in the world that us 2021 brides will be fine! I’ve been religiously checking vaccine and treatment updates, spoke to some healthcare profession and they all believe that SOMETHING will be developed by next year and there is no way we will be in the same place as we are today. Some things might change like no buffets and hand sanitizer everywhere, but I think we will be okay! Also, I went onto Etsy and found there really cute clear transparent masks, so even if people have to wear masks, I’m going to buy those to give out and it looks kinda cool because you can see people’s faces and smiles and it barely looks like they are wearing anything! I’m just trying to be as positive as possible and putting out positive vibes! We will be okay!
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  • Jasmine
    Master August 2021
    Jasmine ·
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    Understandable. I'm February and all kinds of thoughts are crossing my mind but we're staying hopeful. As of right now, there hasn't been any restrictions set with our venue. Hope it stays that way.
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  • M
    Beginner July 2021
    Me T ·
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    So sorry you're going through this! I'm in a similar boat as you –– been with my fiancé for 11 years and were supposed to get married August 2020 and postponed to July 2021. I keep going back and forth with the idea of "if things will get better or not within a year". It's unfortunately out of our control which is super frustrating and anxiety driven. We're just going to enjoy the ride as of right now to not stress until 2021 and see how things really pan out. I would be devastated as well if we had to postpone again. You're not alone in thinking a year out of panic, stress or anxiety. Let's hope for the best!

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  • L
    Beginner May 2021
    Laura ·
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    Would you mind sharing what your healthcare professional friends think? I've been following vaccine news, but it sounds like the general public may not get vaccinated until next summer. I'm really nervous about my 5/1 wedding Smiley sad

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  • Tara
    Beginner September 2021
    Tara ·
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    Hey Laura! They have all been saying if a vaccine is approved that by spring next year, vaccinations for the general public would start(around March/April) , and that even if some of the population is vaccinated (at risk groups, health care etc), things will start to get better. They are also hopeful since multiple vaccines are being developed the chances are better. Also, by that time they think more therapeutics will be available as well. We still have a lot of time (Our weddings are halfway into the year) for things to be developed and they are hopeful since the whole world is working on developing something to help with this god awful virus. Fingers crossed!
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