2021 Small Ceremony Big Reception

Yes it is still bad etiquette to do that. Some people feel that etiquette has no place anymore in the current generation and will do what they want but older generations will be offended by this though they will never tell you.

It has always, traditional Etiquette, been considered fine to have a small private mostly ( but not all ) family, or religious ceremony, and have a much bigger number invited to the reception. Home wedfings used to be far more common ( long before covid) and this wS the most common format. Larger ceremonies and seated formal dinners for all have both become more popular. But there is nothing wrong with a small private ceremony for whatever reason, with all who were at the ceremony and many more at the reception. Not ok, is adding more people after they have missed dinner.

I personally feel like that’s better than the other way around, as in invited to ceremony but not reception. It also can be pretty normal in some cultures to only invite family and super close friends to the ceremony. Are they getting married in a church? Maybe the church does have covid space restrictions

From Emily Post Etiquette 17th edition.

Maybe they're having a religious ceremony? I don't necessarily think it's rude depending on the circumstances, but I don't think they should've put information for both on their website. That's like putting rehearsal dinner information on your website when everyone isn't invited.

View Quoted Comment That’s true. I guess the website could’ve just said the reception time and location and then they just invite family or whoever it may be to the ceremony then.

View Quoted Comment Doesn’t seem like a church wedding because the ceremony says the same venue as the reception on the website! I guess it’s whatever I was just a little peeved that we have to drive pretty far and probably won’t even see the wedding because we’re not close friends or family. I understand times are so different! When I got married at the time this was a big nono for people to do in the same day. At least what many felt on here.

View Quoted Comment If you're not "good enough" to be invited to both, I wouldn't attend, especially in that case and travelling a long distance. If you aren't close friends or family, you were likely an obligatory invite to please one set of parents. You're definitely justified to decline without a gift.

What is clearly wrong is having things on view to all, so people see things they are not invited to. Wedding websites should not have open to all pages except those that apply to everyone. Better, a printed page tucked in with a Save or invitation, or emailed only to those it applies to.

I don't see anything wrong with it.

View Quoted Comment That’s true I fully get that. They even have the time of the ceremony posted 😳 that’s just cause for disaster in my mind. It’s right before the cocktail hour/reception so people who come early are just butting in. Hopefully it’s in a far off location on the property so it’s private like they wanted.

Hi Jolie! I have actually never seen a reception only invite, we have always been invited to both. It is unusual for sure. I thought the same as you, covid makes things unusual 😂 perhaps the grandparents are only coming to the ceremony and to protect them, made the ceremony a small guest list. Curious to know what you find out 🧐❤️

View Quoted Comment

That sounds super awkward with lots of room for issues. It doesn't sound like they've really thought this through. Too bad they didn't ask here for advice!