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Carissa
Savvy October 2020

2020, where even your 4th backup plan fails.

Carissa, on September 23, 2020 at 2:25 PM Posted in Wedding Ceremony 1 16

I'm a California resident and my wedding is in 32 days.. We've had to fully cancel our wedding twice now and had our back up plan fall through because of COVID and now our back up back up plan is ruined because our entire state is on fire and the specific spot we had planned for our private ceremony is on fire and all the roads leading up to it are closed. I absolutely recognize that my silly wedding is nothing compared to the people losing their lives to COVID or their homes to the fires, but, hot damn I'm so ready for stuff to stop going wrong.

We're thinking our 20 person ceremony should just be at our home but I'm worried about space because we don't have a large backyard or living room... I'll take any advice I can get on hosting a ceremony at home. I really want to avoid a courthouse wedding if possible.


16 Comments

Latest activity by Krista, on September 24, 2020 at 2:41 AM
  • Lisa
    Rockstar July 2022
    Lisa ·
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    I'm so sorry to hear about all this! I can't imagine having to postpone/change plans that many times. Is there a nearby park that isn't on fire that you'd be able to get a permit to use? Those are often free or low cost, and you'd be able to get enough space for everyone.
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  • MOB So Cal
    January 2019
    MOB So Cal ·
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    I'm so sorry! If it helps, know you are not alone! There is a user, Nicole, who is in the exact same spot. I think her "Plan Z" is tomorrow in a park local to her! Hang in! Smiley heart

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  • L
    Expert September 2020
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    I’m so sorry to hear about how much trouble you’re having. 2020 really sucks lol. Don’t apologize, because this is not something anyone ever expected and I think its safe to say most of us grew up expecting to have a wedding that looks way different than the ones we had.
    For a home wedding, renting a tent is the best way to go. Depending where you live, you could also get one with heating and lights attached. 20 people is not a lot at all, you can definitely pull it off. However, I wouldnt completely rule out a “courthouse wedding.” I had one because of Covid and it turned out to be really beautiful. My husband and I got a very intimate day we wouldnt have had otherwise. And you can do whatever after! I can also say I still have my sanity and I didnt spend any money on a wedding I wouldve hated anyway
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  • Nicole
    Master September 2020
    Nicole ·
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    That’s me! I completely feel for you because I’m in the exact same boat. (And MOB So Cal, since we last spoke I had to change locations within the park as well due to permitting issues!). Courthouse was out of the question for me, so we found a park here in So Cal that we’re showing up to tomorrow (though the permitting aspect of this plan has been a bit of a nightmare as well). After the ceremony, we’re driving to a breakfast spot that has patio seating large enough for our group of 13. Where in CA are you? MOB So Cal sent me so many incredible ideas for last minute locations...I bet we could help you find something if you didn’t want to go the house route!
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  • A
    Dedicated October 2021
    Adrienne ·
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    I have no advice to give you unfortunately but i just want to say how sorry i am for this happening to you. UGH!!!! 😢
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  • Carissa
    Savvy October 2020
    Carissa ·
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    Thank you!! 😭 It's been pretty miserable. Luckily my fiancé and I have a pretty good sense of humor and we're doing our best to make it enjoyable.
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  • Carissa
    Savvy October 2020
    Carissa ·
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    I think that's been the most difficult part for me! Just having to let go of the wedding I'd always dreamed of..
    We actually bought a big wedding tent a few months back for our mini reception (in our backyard) so it will already be set up back there for the reception.. My fiancé recommended just having it in the same space? I'm just struggling to get past how that would work with the reception decor being in the way and really not wanting just a white tent in the background of our wedding pictures lol
    Maybe I can make a pretty backdrop to hide the tent in one spot and that's where the arch will go?
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  • Nicole
    Master September 2020
    Nicole ·
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    Not that you want to spend more money on yet another plan, but can you see if there are any flower wall vendors in your area who are available? You could place a flower wall in one area with the arch in front for your ceremony and then it could act as a place for people to take pictures during your reception as well.
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  • V
    Savvy April 2021
    Victoria ·
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    Hey what area in California are you? There are few things open down here in so cal that you can still go to for your wedding.


    Otherwise if you’re getting married at your house it’ll be fine. Just have some twinkle lights a clean bathroom and food delivered. Hell I say even make your cake for a sweet touch
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  • Carissa
    Savvy October 2020
    Carissa ·
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    Shoot it looks like my original comment with my location is gone.. I'm in the South Valley. Visalia, specifically.
    I feel like the benefit to the backyard is I'll be able to slowly set it and design it over a few days rather than stressing about setting up the night before or morning of.
    Luckily we still have all of the food and cake we booked for the big (cancelled) reception so at least that is one thing we don't have to worry about.
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  • Carissa
    Savvy October 2020
    Carissa ·
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    Sorry, I responded earlier but I think I managed to delete it by accident.
    I'm so sorry you have been struggling with this process too, although it is comforting to know we're not alone in our frustration/sadness.
    We're in the South Valley. Visalia, specifically. There is a beautiful Oaks Preserve near us that is really special to our family, but we need something handicap accessible for our grandparents so that was out unfortunately. All of the other parks that we can think of are just the typical park with a kids play place and doesn't really scream 'wedding ceremony' to us... We're also considering buying some vintage gas masks and going to our burned spot anyway and just lean into the apocalypse feel but we have no way of knowing if the roads will be reopened in time. : /
    I like the idea of finding a pretty floral backdrop to go in the tent. We've lost so much money during this process so our budget is dwindling but we can figure it out.
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  • Nicole
    Master September 2020
    Nicole ·
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    I absolutely hear you. When Yosemite closed last week, I was so upset that our Plan C was falling through after just hiring and paying a HMUA for that location specifically. I think our budget has been obliterated with all the changes. I’ve seen some DIY tutorials for flower/vine walls, but that will still cost something. Though, I kind of love your apocalypse idea...you have to find the humor in our situation!
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  • Carissa
    Savvy October 2020
    Carissa ·
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    That's seriously so frustrating! Yosemite is a gorgeous spot though. Ours was Balch Park.
    I've been brainstorming backdrops all day and I think I've decided on a champagne or maybe gray chiffon wall and I'll make and suspend white origami cranes to over it.
    I definitely think the apocalypse will make for amazing pictures, especially with how smoky it is outside, and our photographer said she's down to get weird so I think we're going to go for it with our pictures At least this will make for a great story.
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  • Nicole
    Master September 2020
    Nicole ·
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    Yes!!!! Bless those amazing photographers! Please come back and share them once you get the final edits! And your backdrop plan sounds perfect; elegant enough to make it classy, but inexpensive and easy enough to set up.
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  • V
    Savvy April 2021
    Victoria ·
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    I hear you. I say follow your gut and it’s all going to work out for the best.


    Down in LA we have a lot of elopement packages (that’s why I asked) but it sounds like your wedding will be way more intimate and sweet. Look forward to seeing pictures from your big day
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  • Krista
    Dedicated April 2020
    Krista ·
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    Feel your pain! Had to cancel our April wedding! Haven’t had the strength or optimism to replan as healthcare workers we feel in the thick of it, but love is love! Best wishes and hope you find something beautiful!
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