200 person wedding or 50 person wedding?

50 Person wedding all the way! Smaller is better and more intimate, it allows you to spend time with most of your guests while a 200 person wedding would mean you're mingling the WHOLE TIME.

Our guest list jumped from 25 to 50 and I'd be happier with it being smaller. But 50 is much more manageable. It's also so much more cost efficient. I don't understand why people would want to spend 50K on a wedding versus 10 and put the other 40 towards a new house or car

We had 45 people and it was so fun. We invited 82 but had many declines/some didn’t want to bring a plus one. People went back to the buffet for third helpings, drank plenty, laughed, danced the whole time, it was everything we ever wanted. I don’t think having a bunch more people would have been better and we couldn’t have afforded it anyway.

Our original guest list was 160 before COVID. Due to the pandemic we have cut it down to roughly 60 people. I’m super excited about the cut. It’s just our closet family and friends. I like the idea that we get to spend more quality time with them through the day instead of greeting a ton of people. I say go small!

Our guest list went from 100 to 15. Only siblings, parents, and grandparents are coming. It's still going to be the best of my life and we will celebrate with everyone post-Covid.

As for traditions, you can still have almost all of them. You can still walk down the aisle, have your first dance, parental dances, cake-cutting... but depending on the amount of single people, you may have to cut the bouquet toss.

Don't worry about people's feelings. Everyone knows about this virus and social distancing. They will completely understand why they can't come. They'll be disappointed, of course, but they won't hold it against you. It's a pandemic. They'll understand.
Plus, if your future husband doesn't want to spend that much money, Covid is a good excuse to save a lot on your wedding. 😉

We invited 40 and ended up with 35 guests; it’s actually how we planned it all along, even before Covid. We loved the intimacy of it and we still did all the “traditional” things. For us spending that kind of money was completely out of the question because we want to buy a house. We made the conscious decision to make the celebration about us and the people the mean the absolute most to us and it was worth it. Good luck with whatever you decide!

It would still feel like a wedding and you can still do all the things you intended to do at a larger wedding

We had 50 guests at a local reception and it was a blast! Cocktails, dinner & dancing. Just choose a smaller venue space so it feels full (or if you have a venue already, group tables/activities closer together so it feels intimate not empty).

A Wedding Is A Wedding Regardless Of How Many People Attend. We're Having 60 Guests And To Me Thats A Lot Of People.

View Quoted Comment I agree, but I think people who have the means to spend that money is fine since we are all in different situations financially but I would not spend a huge chunk of my life savings on it! Lol


I think the more intimate the better. Large guests would be exhausting.

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Totally agree with you, if you have a ton of money to spend, go for it.

I was given the option at a very early age - Big wedding with Small honeymoon or Small wedding and BIG honeymoon. - My parents could offer me anything I wanted at the time and I knew from age 12 that I would always push for a Small Wedding and Big Honeymoon (My parents did the same, small intimate wedding with a 6 month honeymoon around Europe)

A 50 person wedding is wonderful!


However, if it’s not what you want , it’s not what you want . I say this as a warning because whatever you do, what you Don’t want to do is reason your way into a wedding that isn’t your ideal and compromise in such a way where you’ll start doubting the decision and having regrets— veering from the dream can lead to nagging what-ifs.
I see both sides “do I just want this because of tradition” — definitely don’t need to do something just because someone else thinks it’s normal! But it’s also okay if what you WANT is tradition.
So, the move is to make lists, pros and cons style. Ultimately the goal is to isolate what aspects of a wedding are really the most important to YOU. It’s different for everyone! We had many a soul searching moment in wedding planning.
A 50 person wedding is wonderful. It can be every bit the party vibe as a 200 person wedding (and maybe even more actually- an intimate crowd may feel more comfortable with eachother— I’ve been to big weddings that were stale and stiff and the party-ing crowd was small and no one really interacted with people outside of their circle) — so I’ll also say the number of guests isn’t as important for vibe as WHO the guests are! An intimate crowd where everyone is close or becomes close is such a wonderful, comfortable , loving environment, and you have a real opportunity to put in good FaceTime with each guest. So there are many pros!For me though, including my hoard of cousins was more important. I can’t even express WHY it was so important to me not to draw a line for them, and trimming guestlist I trimmed friends sooner than them. I grew up going to their weddings and somehow to me, having them there was a fundamental part of the wedding. So, it’s different for everyone! And priorities can be random ! This is definitely a “follow your heart” moment. Sometimes the heart follows the wallet, and that is a-okay! Sometimes the heart is in direct opposition to the wallet, lol, and that’s okay (as long as you can afford it and aren’t putting yourself into a hardship).
But— isolate the priorities! In doing so you may also discover a compromise between 50 and 200 (for example, aunts and uncles no cousins sort of thing). Or you may discover 50 is perfect for you!

Save your money! 50 people will still feel like a wedding and be fun. You will be able to spend more time with each guest instead of running around trying to say hi to everyone.

I had about 85 people at our wedding. We had invited approximately 150. I was so glad we didn't have that many people at our wedding. I get really nervous talking in front of people so 150 people would have been way too many. Eighty-five people was perfect. It was enough people that it didn't feel small, but it also wasn't huge. I can't imagine spending $45,000 on a wedding.

200 guests is a lot for a wedding, I feel like that is a celebrity type wedding lol. My fiancé and I have a guest list of 100 right now and I really want to drop it down to about 80. I agree with your fiancé, it's more about you 2 getting married and enjoying the day. You could always live stream it for the people who can't make it or is cut from the guest list!

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Thank you so much for being so thoughtful! Yes - I grew up going to my cousins weddings. Feels like something would be missing without them there. Wedding planning is soul searching for sure. Yeeesh!

It really boils down to what you both want and can afford. I've been a guest at small weddings and big weddings and both are equally lovely and fun. The only difference I could tell between them is the number of people.

Don't feel obligated to invite random strangers who you'll never see again, regardless of your guest count.

Also, you don't have to spend all or any of your money on various aspects just because everyone else does. You can have a beautiful wedding and not go broke, but it requires thinking outside the box which many people don't do because they're pressured not to.

We are having our wedding with around 80 guests. We are doing immediate family, some work colleagues & some friends (no children as this is an adult party) I have a huge family & if we invited everyone, the numbers/cost would sky rocket. I explained to my siblings that my nieces/nephews & their partners wouldn’t be invited due to cost. All of them understood!

A lot of people on this forum mention having a wedding on a Friday or a Sunday as a way to cut costs by a good bit. Maybe that is something you could consider as a way to spend less money but still invite everyone!