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Just Said Yes November 2020

2 Tipping Questions

CJ Freeman, on March 6, 2020 at 7:20 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 8

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I have a couple tipping questions I haven't been able to find answers to through the forum yet...

1. I am having a live portrait artist at my reception, do I tip this vendor? (I assume so...)

2. More generally, when do I tip my vendors? I would prefer to tip after services are rendered to adjust the amount up or down based on service, but I'm not sure how to accomplish this as I'll be busy trying to enjoy my day. I'm also having a destination wedding so won't be personally seeing the vendors afterwards in all likelihood.

I've read where people say to give the tip envelopes to your day of coordinator to hand out tips, but that kind of negates my thought of determining how the service went first. I've also think my vintage furniture delivery staff should be tipped $15-$20/person, but I don't know how many delivery people will be bringing my items. I don't want to be wandering handing out cash from the pockets of my dress haha!

Has anyone mailed tips after? Hoping to hear some thoughts on this!

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8 Comments

Latest activity by CJ Freeman, on March 8, 2020 at 8:48 AM

Master November 2020
Kristen · on March 6, 2020 at 7:25 PM
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I would say maybe have some cash ready and then if you feel someone did not live up to your expectations tip less. I would do the envelope system for all vendors apart from the venue as I would assume you get a final bill no? If not, then same thing bring cash to tip after. I would say for the artist sure. maybe 15%-20% for all.
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Master November 2022
Chrysta · on March 6, 2020 at 7:46 PM
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I am planning to mail my vendors thank you cards with tips in them after we return home from our DW. I’m doing this for 3 reasons:
1. I don’t want to worry about tipping 6-7 vendors who will all be showing up at different times. I have enough to worry about that day.
2. I would like to adjust the tips based on the services provided
3. I would like to take the time to hand write a personalized thank you to each of them
I know it has become “the normal” to tip wedding vendors a certain percent the day of the wedding...but if you think about it, this really negates the purpose of tipping. Tipping is a gratuity that is given to someone as a thank you when that person has provided exceptional service; and the amount of the tip should reflect the quality of that service. So it only makes sense that you would tip your vendor AFTER the service has been provided.
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Just Said Yes November 2020
CJ Freeman · on March 6, 2020 at 7:56 PM
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Yes THIS! Exactly what I was sort of thinking/wanting to do - I don't like the thought of writing a generic thank you card. I feel it detracts from the entire point of the tip and thankfulness. Glad I'm not totally thinking crazily on this
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Master November 2022
Chrysta · on March 7, 2020 at 7:38 AM
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Nope, I’m with you girl!
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Super March 2021
Kimberly · on March 7, 2020 at 2:59 PM
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I agree about wanting to tip based on the service provided and having the time to write a thank you note specific to what you experienced, but how will that work realistically? Won’t they expect to be given the tip before leaving the venue day of? How will you overcome that challenge?
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Just Said Yes November 2020
CJ Freeman · on March 7, 2020 at 8:26 PM
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That is the main thing that gives me pause - I don’t want to appear to be “stiffing” people. Ideally mailing thank you notes with the tips or even giving them to my coordinator to deliver the next day or so would be ideal, but I’m not sure that’s a realistic solution based on the industry’s norms 🤔
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Super March 2021
Kimberly · on March 7, 2020 at 8:38 PM
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That’s what concerns me as well. Is there a way to communicate it to the vendors so they won’t expect it day of?
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Just Said Yes November 2020
CJ Freeman · on March 8, 2020 at 8:48 AM
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I think I’ll bring this up with my wedding planner at our next check in and see what she recommends. Will post back here what she says!
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