2 months away and i want to cancel

Planning a wedding can cause anxiety. It can be very stressful. It's a lot of pressure. I was anxious early on. Losing sleep. Mind racing questioning everything. Then I started thinking about it differently. For example, my dress was expensive and it was a dress I had anticipated my whole life. My dad cried for a dress I did not choose. I questioned if I made a mistake. Then I realized... it is one more detail that is out of the way. And I was confident when I made that choice even if I questioned it later the same day. My dress made me cry so who cares about the other choices. Yes it was expensive but it'll be ok. It's a once in a lifetime purchase so it's ok to spend extra. My point is that I have viewed everything wedding related that way since. Caterers, hotel blocks, venues, decorations, etc. I make a choice and move on knowing one more thing is out of the way. No reason dwelling, changing, questioning, dreading... one more thing locked down. I still feel the stress sometimes. But I sleep well. I hope my experience can help you a little.

If you’re only two months out, the cost to cancel at this point will probably be pretty steep. Obviously your mental health is more important than money, but that could still be a stressful decision in itself. You mention that this is the first time you’ve experienced anxiety. Have you found a good therapist yet? They would be able to help you dig a little deeper into where these feelings are coming from, as well as coping mechanisms for whenever you start panicking in the lead up to/on your big day! It sounds like you initially wanted a wedding, so you just have some pesky thoughts getting in the way of enjoying your experience.

The build up getting close to the date is a lot. We put so much pressure on ourselves. Having gone through it last year, I can tell you that the love you will receive at your wedding will be worth it in the end. Everyone will be cheering for you. Try to think about that and do one thing at a time and take breaks away from planning.
I started working out months leading up which helps with stress and mood. You can do this.

I was incredibly overwhelmed planning my wedding. As I got closer and had to worry about final details and not forgetting things it was very stressful. But when the day came it was everything I wanted and the stress was worth it. You’re so close. You can do this! Just take it one thing at a time

It's a lot to handle as the date gets closer. It does sound like you really want to have the wedding, but are under a lot of stress. This is totally normal a lot of the time, it won't "hit you" that you're getting married when the date is so far away, but once plans start materializing and the date gets closer, it can feel overwhelming. If you're feeling like it's all too much, maybe talking to your fiancé, a close friend or family member you trust, or a therapist would help.