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Just Said Yes April 2021

2 dads or just 1

Courtney, on April 9, 2020 at 3:49 PM Posted in Family and Relationships 0 14

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Hey y’all! I feel like I’m in a big dilemma. I have a step father who and always has treated me as his own. My real father had never treated me the same as all the other kids. He abandoned me as a child and I was hoping to draw the family closer almost 6 months ago when I got a liver transplant but it didn’t seem to change. I felt as if it got worse and since my step sister got engaged a couple months ago around my transplant. Both of them were supposed to walk me down the isle but with the difficulties that I’m dealing with lately is really making me rethink having him walking me down the isle. I don’t feel as if he deserves to walk me down the isle with my step father who has raised me and done everything for me. Please leave your thoughts or opinions and if I am doing the right thing or not.

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14 Comments

Latest activity by Pirate & 60s Bride, on April 11, 2020 at 2:10 PM

Legend November 2019
Caytlyn · on April 9, 2020 at 3:52 PM
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It sounds like you're definitely making the right choice.
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Dedicated June 2021
Amanda · on April 9, 2020 at 3:55 PM
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I agree that your doing the right thing! Best of luck!
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VIP October 2020
Samantha · on April 9, 2020 at 3:57 PM
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It's such a personal decision, but I wouldn't want him to be any part of my day. You deserve to stand with people who have loved you and supported you unconditionally.
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Super August 2023
Lunajay · on April 9, 2020 at 4:01 PM
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I would make the same decision. Just because they are your bio-dad doesn't mean that he gets all the perks, they have to be there to get those privileges.
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Super August 2020
Emily · on April 9, 2020 at 7:03 PM
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100% your call. Either way I think you need to talk to your father about the conclusion of either I want you and my step dad or I only want my step dad. Being open and honest would make it a lot easier on everyone.
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Super August 2020
Emily · on April 9, 2020 at 7:04 PM
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Agreed. Plus it’s a great way to say thank you to your step dad that you recognize and appreciate him for doing so much for you.
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Devoted May 2021
Jasmine · on April 9, 2020 at 7:15 PM
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Sounds like stepdad is the one who deserves to walk you down the aisle. Don’t know if I would make him share that honor with someone who wasn’t worthy.
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Master 0000
Judith · on April 9, 2020 at 8:50 PM
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Include your biodad in some other " fatherly" way, like being one of those who gives a 2 minute speech and a toast. And do as you clearly want to do: have your stepdad escort you down the aisle. He can speak also, if you want. He has been there for you, he is Dad.
( An isle is an island. Said the same as aisle, a walkway between seating areas. In weddings, you walk down the aisle.)
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Devoted September 2020
Mandee · on April 9, 2020 at 8:56 PM
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I think that you should def make this decision based on who was there for you more throughout your life! It doesn't matter what they're relationship is to you traditionally!

Best of luck!
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Super December 2021
Casey · on April 9, 2020 at 10:05 PM
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Exactly this. You want someone who makes you smile. Ask yourself, will seeing your bio dad help or hinder? Will he be as happy for you as your stepdad? Will he beam with pride or will you sense that distance you mentioned and feel sad on your big day?
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Devoted June 2020
MeetTheRobinsons · on April 9, 2020 at 11:01 PM
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Courtney that's a tough one. I'm so big on "Going where there is love or cling to those who express you love". I personally would have to pray on that one. I would have to strongly say go with your heart and if you've tried everything you possibly could on your end to create a stronger bond and your father hasn't it's not much more you could do. You definitely have the right to feel like you do. I personally would surround myself around those who love and respect me and still stay with the will of the "Father" so that my day will be long by not disrespecting my birth father but I wouldn't let him keep breaking my heart either. You're in a tough spot and I'm sure you'll know exactly what you need to do. Great thing is you've found the one you want to spend the rest of your life with, congratulations.... (sorry about the long message, this touched me...) Best of luck to you and your FH
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Just Said Yes February 2021
Ayona · on April 10, 2020 at 2:02 AM
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Just your step father should walk you down the aisle. Biological father just should be invited.
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Super September 2020
Naikesha · on April 11, 2020 at 5:55 AM
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I agree with you and if you want to soften the blow do a dual father daughter dance dance half song with biological and 1/2 with step dad.
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Legend March 2017
Pirate & 60s Bride · on April 11, 2020 at 2:10 PM
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I agree with Ayona!

If you really want to include your birth dad in something you could do the father/daughter dance with him. But not if you guys aren’t close.
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