18 people in a wedding party - too much?

As always, it's whatever you and your FH really want, but I personally think it depends entirely on how many people you expect to attend your wedding. If you're expecting 75 people, you're putting about a quarter of them in the wedding party with you. We had a similar problem - once we wanted to include one more person, we felt like we had to include a whole group. We ultimately picked a much smaller party because we'll have probably 75 guests, we expect the wedding party to play a fairly minor role (no toasts, bachelors/bachelorettes with all our friends, etc), and because it's hard to wrangle a bigger group of people. Definitely take into consideration that you're going to have to coordinate with all 18 - that in and of itself would make me second guess

It’s whatever makes you and FH most comfortable ! I don’t have that many close friends so I have a smaller party .

We have 6 each and 2 flower girls and 2 ring bearers and my 5 yr old grandson walking me down. Could end up being a circus!

We have 6 on each side including us.. 3 flower girls.. 1 ring bearer.. and a page prince and princess (sign holders). There is never too many people to include on your special day :-)

I think it's up to you, I don't think it's too many people but I have a huge family so big weddings and big groups are kind of my thing. Which is kind of funny because we only have 1 BM and 1 Best man but that's because our wedding will be around 20 people. And then we're having a huge reception instead.

View Quoted Comment We will have about 200 guests max! Coordinating is no problem at all when it comes to my girls because all of them are very cooperative - we’ve had many a similar experience as we’ve been in performing arts together for about 5+ years. I want to say when it comes to events & organization, they are very disciplined & I’m so grateful to have friends like that! If anything, they may be the ones keeping me in check too! I did think about coordinating my FH’s groomsmen & I became a little anxious because my FH is not great at choosing & planning - he is leaving it all up to me. So I would have to find a place where they can get a suit or tux (which I have no idea where to start) and coordinate fittings and such. Whew, that might be something I would have to think about. My FH told me not worry as he will try his best to help me when it comes to his groomsmen but yes definitely coordination with them might be a challenge.

I say as long as you are both ok and can afford some kind of thank you gift and if you have rehersal rehersal dinner it is fine. I do think you you should not have a even number just to have a even number.

That depends on you and your budget. 18 bridal party members means 18 gifts, 18 bouquets/bouts, 36+ guests at your rehearsal dinner, 36+ guests for the wedding, etc. I do think it’s ridiculous to add friends to your bridal party just to have an even number though.

I’ve seen it work but usually that many people won’t fit at the altar. If you’re willing to pay for the wedding party expenses for all those people and coordinate everything, then go for it. But I would still take your ceremony venue into consideration.

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Cost will definitely pile up there for sure but we have discussed options as far as gifting them. Most of our gifts will be DIY. Now rehearsal might be a little hectic & there definitely will be a lot of people however, we did want a bonfire/bbq right after as our wedding theme is rustic and our wedding will be in a barn. Please do let me know if that may be a bad idea - I would also greatly appreciate some suggestions! You are right about matching the groomsmen to how many bridesmaids I will be having. I did originally start at 9 but whenever I had asked some of my friends to be in my party - a few of them had to decline due to either school or travel expenses (my home is about 7,800 miles away in the pacific ocean). I have 6 confirms out of the 9. I am still debating whether or not I should try to add on to the list - I kind of would be very weird about not having an equal amount as ridiculous as that sounds. I appreciate your input though, it's definitely something to think about!

No such thing as too much! We have a large bridal party (20 total) which includes our closest friends and family. Whenever I tell people how many we have in our party they usually have a negative reaction. Like sorry I have friends *eyeroll*. It’s your day so feel free to include whoever you want to be part of it. Some things to be aware of though (that I totally didn’t think of before we chose our bridal party):
-that’s a lot of people who will need to be at your rehearsal dinner
-bridal party gifts
-getting ready requires more time/stylists if you’re bringing in a hair and makeup stylist for the girls
-planning can be difficult and not everyone always replies to group texts (*eyeroll* lol). I have a few smaller group texts going with friends grouped by who knows each other (college friends, FH’s sisters, 2 MOH’s).
-good luck and have fun!!

View Quoted Comment I was going to bring that up. It’s not *only* the 18 attendants, it’s their spouses and significant others coming to a lot of events also. If you’re okay with hosting that many people that many times, go for it!

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Yes ma'am, we have taken that into consideration! They are part of the 200 that we have coming to the wedding! As well as their kids We will be skipping the bridal shower - so it's only the rehearsal dinner & wedding that we would have to think about! Please do let me know if there are other events that I should be planning for that many of a bridal party. Your input is greatly appreciated!

View Quoted Comment It seems like it won't be a problem for you. If you rent the suits or tuxes then you don't even need them all there at once. You and your FH can go, pick out what you want everyone to wear and then have the place make a note of it. Then they can go on their own time and get measured, just make sure you tell them a date to go by. As others have mentioned, as long as you are okay with the cost associated with having that size bridal party then go for it. We kept ours to 5 each because I wanted to pay for hair and make up for the girls as part of their gift, and I wouldn't have been able to do that if we had more. It may be hectic but just put your boss voice on and tell them to listen up! Good luck!

Do whatever you feel comfortable with! I will have 4 close girls while my fiance will have 6 guys. It doesn't bother me whatsoever that we're uneven. The point is for he and I to get married, not have an equal amount of friends. In the end, no one is going to care or remember that you had 6 and your husband had 9.

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Thank you Sara! This sure did give me a bit of confidence! Since you will be getting married first than me, I definitely would love to hear back from you how your bridal party of 20 worked out! I haven't thought much about getting a stylist for the big day - I do my own hair and makeup! My girls do too! We've been in this performing arts business for waaaaaaaaay too long lol. Please let me know if I should get a stylist anyway for my girls or let us do it ourselves. We have discussed hair/makeup for the big day and they mentioned how it would be like old times (us doing each other's hair & makeup). I've attached a picture of when me & my girls did our hair and makeup - and this picture was taken after we got offstage! Also it was taken 3 years ago! So it's safe to say our skills have gotten a little better I hope!

Hair & Makeup

We also have 9 on each side. I will say... it’s more expensive!! Bridesmaids/groomsmen proposals (if you’re doing one), wedding gifts, wedding jewelry, it all adds up depending on what you plan on buying them. Be prepared and choose reliable ppl bc gathering that many ppl for any given thing may be a hassle (or ordering dresses, having money, coming up with decisions on hair and makeup, making sure ppl are available for rehearsal dinner etc.). I have a large family so some ppl on my side are family members. Also, maybe a jr. bridesmaid that you have in mind may work? I don’t have any.. but just a thought. We also have to get 2 make up artists for the day of in order for everything to still be timely. It takes us girls a lot longer to get ready lol.

I have 18 total in the whole party. I girl and 8 guys

View Quoted Comment We have 4 bm and two grooms ladies. A lot of people done have matching amounts. A bonfire for rehersal dinner is fine.

View Quoted Comment Most definitely! I hate that I can't wrap my head around the fact that I don't need to match as many bridesmaids to his groomsmen but something just bothers me about it! I did speak to FH about it and he mentioned that one of the reasons why he has that many friends included in his party is because it's his way of giving them recognition to show people that he would not be the man he is today ready to marry the girl of his dreams without them. I swooned when he told me this! I swooned even harder when he said that it would be something to tell our kids one day - and I didn't think much about it until I told my MOH and she said that in her perspective, next to me and FH, would be our bridal party. She asked me, "what would you tell your future kids when they ask about these people standing behind you in uniformed outfits?" I thought long and hard and realized that they will have me and FH to count on however, in the event we are not able to be there, they've got a long line of people behind us who are willing to go above and beyond to make sure they would be okay - just as they have done the same for us. And that's how I understood when my FH wanted to give his groomsmen recognition - because it will be easier to pick out important people to us (aside from family) vs looking through a guest book. I know this is waaaaaaaaay out of context but it's really all I think about when choosing my bridal party. All I can hear in my head is my kids asking "mom, why do they all look the same? who are they? why are they standing behind you?" and I keep imaging myself answering "they're people I can count on, they're standing right behind me because they've got my back, just like they will yours."