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Beginner June 2019

14 year old Bridesmaid?

Emma, on April 13, 2018 at 1:27 AM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 10

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Hi all,
This is my first time posting on the forum, but I am getting married in a year and really want to ask my FH little sister to be my bridesmaid. The problem is is that she will only be 14 at the time of the wedding. My bachelorette party will be a laid back weekend in the mountains, with hiking and brunch, so there is no worry about it being inappropriate for her. However, I am worried about the cost of being a bridesmaid. My FH’s parents are divorced and money is a sticky situation with them. Should my FH and I talk to them about the cost before asking her, to make sure they are okay with paying for her dress, and other costs accociated with being a bridesmaid? Should I ask her? I was a bridesmaid in my cousins wedding at 13 and I loved it, but my parents were very willing to float the bill. I also am aware that she can be a junior bridesmaid, but she would still need a dress. The only difference would be the bachelorette party which in my case is totally appropriate for her to attend. Thanks!

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10 Comments

Latest activity by Emma, on April 13, 2018 at 2:13 PM

Super April 2018
Cassie · on April 13, 2018 at 2:00 AM
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I would run it past the parents firs t since they would be the ones paying for the dress. If they are down, go for it!
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Mim · on April 13, 2018 at 3:05 AM
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Her only expenses would be the dress and maybe shoes if she doesn't have an appropriate pair yet. Ask her parents for a budget or simply pay for her dress.

Also thank you for calling her a bridesmaid. I find the term junior bridesmaid ridiculous and honestly kind of insulting. All it does it point out that someone is younger than the others, a point that anyone can pick up on without the title. Younger bridesmaids do the same thing as older ones, walk down the aisle looking pretty and stand by your side. So way to go!
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April 2018
GoodMOB · on April 13, 2018 at 3:38 AM
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If you really want the sister to be your bridesmaid, it sounds like you should be willing to pay for her dress and most other expenses yourself, because of her age/assuming limited income.
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Super August 2018
Marta · on April 13, 2018 at 7:06 AM
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I agree with pp bc if her age I think you should take over any of her expenses if possible. If that’s not an option run it by her parents first
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VIP September 2015
Jeleebeenz · on April 13, 2018 at 8:17 AM
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You sound like an awesome bride with a good heart. I do agree you should discuss it with her parents first and since you have 14 months to go, can you just add her expenses into your budget so you can cover her dress, shoes, hair and makeup if needed? I am going to bet she would love to be a bridesmaid!
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Savvy August 2019
Shawna · on April 13, 2018 at 9:06 AM
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Hi!! I was having a similar situation about having younger girls. My only two girl cousins will only be 13 and 14 at my wedding. They are going to be Junior Bridesmaids. My biggest thing was that I don’t want the little girls to walking with grown groomsmen, so the two girls will be walking together! I am actually picking a difference dress for them but in the same color as my bridesmaids, so that could be an option that she may have a dress in a different style that is cheaper. Hope it all works out!
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Devoted May 2019
Christin · on April 13, 2018 at 9:38 AM
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It sounds like there shouldn't be much cost other than the dress since your bachelorette party is low key. If there are more costs, I would run it by the parents but my assumption would be that they would probably be excited that you want to include her! Just keep an open dialogue and it'll all work out!
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Master September 2019
Mrs. H · on April 13, 2018 at 10:14 AM
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My MOH is my 17-yr-old (will be 19 at my wedding) cousin. My bridal party is perfectly ok with a laid back bachelorette party as well. Everything we do will be age-appropriate to accommodate her.
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Super July 2018
Brittany · on April 13, 2018 at 10:50 AM
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My fiance's half sisters (age 12 and 14) are my Junior Bridesmaids. My fiance's family isn't doing well financially so I bought their dresses. We didn't think it was fair for them to miss out on another thing in life because of their family's situation.
My bachelorette wouldn't be appropriate for them so they aren't invited to that, but they'll be at the shower.
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Beginner June 2019
Emma · on April 13, 2018 at 2:13 PM
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Thanks so much everyone, My FH and I will run it by his parents before we ask her. If they are is unable to pay for it then I will most definitely consider paying for her. They have the money to, it is just sometimes sticky with who will pay for it, or how they will split it. His parents have a poor relationship, and unfortunately their problems with one another sometimes end up hurting their kids.
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