+1 Predicament?

If they are invited to your wedding I would imagine you or your FH are close enough to them to just message them and ask if they are still with so and so and that you are inquiring to add them to the invitation.

Can you find out somehow? Like check their social media or maybe find out from a relative/friend? Depending on your relationship with this person, can you outright ask them?

If they’re close enough to come to your wedding, they should be close enough to somehow figure out their relationship status.

I'd agree with both previous PP. I would find out somehow if they are together or not. Do you have mutual friends who may have a clearer picture? I know it might be a little awkward to be straightforward and ask, but that will probably give you the best answer.

View Quoted Comment In this case, some of these folks are family members where the blood relative may opt to not bring their spouse because of this issue. There also might be challenges where they bring someone else last minute because of these relationship challenges even if at the time of the Invitation being sent, they were together. It's certainly a bit awkward to ask your older aunt/uncle if they're still with their spouse without appearing line you're prying or trying to get in their business?

View Quoted Comment

Prying would you be you asking details about their personal relationship. You are asking for event planning purposes. Maybe just play it lightly by calling them to verify their address and mention you will send an invite for him and so and so and if they state they are not together then you know.

That happened to my fiance where one of his cousins had a partner and they share a child together. But whenever we'd see her, she would be alone or with her daughter. So when it was time to actually get addresses, she voluntarily told us that she was not with her child's father and had not been for a long time. In your situation, I would say something like "Hey, I'd like to invite you and spouse/girlfriend/boyfriend to our wedding, so I'd love to have your address, email etc. I think with that request worded like that, you'll quickly get your answer and some hint on the status of their relationship without prying. If you simply just exclude the partner, then it may be seen as disrespectful. So the wording I listed above is a nice way to put it. All the best to you

View Quoted Comment Thank you so much!

Just ask them.

You could just ask them....

View Quoted Comment Thanks, but in situations where some of these people are family members who are elders to me, that's not as easy as it sounds...

We have 1 friend that we're unclear on. According to his FB, they are official... he's been wiped from her FB and she doesn't bring him out anymore. We asked her best friend, and her best friend isn't sure, and says the friend in question isnt quite sure. We addressed it to her and guest.


With some of our invites we left things ambiguous. We invited The Smith's. If my aunt decides she, my uncle, and her sons are coming, I'm cool with that. Alternatively, we Jacob's. The Jacobs. If they want to bring their 1 year old, cool. I'd they want to leave her with a babysitter and have a night out. Cool. I didn't want to specify that Little Becky is or isnt invited, as I didnt want them to feel obligated to bring her.
Idk if this helps you out at all.

View Quoted Comment Thanks, it sounds like you took a case by case basis on this from what you know or found out.

We just reached out privately to the guests we were unsure about!

I just sent my save the date to a situation like this. The wife has an apartment but I swear every other month she's living back at their house. So I sent it to the house addressed "The Smith Family" and when invites come, I'll ask her where she wants the invite to go and who should I include on it to make sure I have enough seats at their table.

Hopefully it works out!

Just address it to the person "and guest". If they don't have one, the will RSVP as solo.

I flat out asked. There have been several divorces (or looming divorces) amongst the guests who have been invited and I would rather be right than make an inadvertent mistake.