MrsD
Legend July 2019

1 Month Out - My Advice to Bride's So Far

MrsD, on June 21, 2019 at 1:16 PM Posted in Planning 6 16
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I'm a little less than one month out, so I thought I'd post my advice so far since my BAM will be more wedding-day oriented. Please feel free to post your best advice for planning!

1. Don't over-plan dress shopping. I went with just my mom, to three salons. It was casual, no huge pressure from a large group. I wasn't stressed when I didn't find a dress at the first two, or when some dresses didn't look good on me. Make sure to bring a water bottle & eat a filling meal prior, it's tiring! Dress trying on is a revealing experience - literally. The salon assistants are helping you get dressed and seeing a lot of you, they are used to it, don't worry! Take A TON of pictures so you can study the dresses you like when you get home before purchasing.

2. Plan as much as you can in advance. I planned for 19 months. I'm 1 month out, I feel little-to-no stress and I feel very organized and prepared.

3. Don't put off working out & healthy diet. I put this off until 6 months out, I felt a lot of pressure because NO weight came off for the first 3 months. I've lost 12 lbs since then, it's become more of a lifestyle than anything. I'm grateful I lost weight, but the added pressure didn't help.

4. Skincare, nail care, and hair care start at home. I have seen huge progress with my skin & hair health. I did go to salons, but having a consistent at home routine has been so helpful that included vitamins, leave in conditioners, masks, cleaning brushes, no-pull hair ties, toners, serums, etc.

5. Less people may come than you originally planned, and that's okay. We invited 225 (a lot of out of state) and budgeted for 150-175. The final count is in, we are looking at 115-125 people. I was surprised and bummed at first. After thinking about the 120 guest weddings I've been to, I'm very happy and we were able to splurge more on things like a full open bar.

6. People will NOT RSVP. Plan for that. We sent save the dates out 10 months in advance with our hotel block & website fully set up. Invites went out 3 months out, 6 weeks before our RSVP date. We had the option to RSVP online & sent an addressed/stamped envelope in every invite. 85% used the paper response, 15% used the website. Our RSVP date came & went, we had to contact 61 people. I split up the work between me, my fiance, my mom, and his dad. It wasn't a huge deal and took maybe 1 day. Give yourself time between your RSVP date and when you need final counts.

7. Splurge on yourself. If you can! I was lucky, my parents are paying for our wedding. That gave me the opportunity to spend my own $ on things like microneedling, microdermabrasion, botox, facials, and hair deep conditioning treatments. I don't normal do a ton of self-maintenance, it's really improved my skin and hair and I feel a lot more confident.

8. Take dance lessons! Again, if you can. We did (4 total - 2 left) and feel way more confident about the whole thing. I took one with my dad, that was a really fun thing for us to do together.

9. No one is as excited for your wedding as you and your fiance. I have read forum posts about bridesmaids, parents, etc. not being happy or excited and that hurting the bride's feelings. For me, I wanted to do all the planning myself or with my fiance so I didn't lean on anyone to help me. I didn't over expect from my friends and family so I didn't feel any sadness over that. It made it more special when they did want to be involved.

10. You won't do everything traditional etiquette calls for, and that's okay. Personally, we are doing a ton of traditional etiquette. We didn't want our guests to pay for anything, we are doing all the traditional dances/toasts/garter toss/etc., no cash registry, etc. But I've been to weddings with cash registries, cash bars, dry weddings, weekday weddings, etc. Yeah, they may not be as traditional (to me) but we still attended and shared in the couples special day and were happy to do so. Not every bride & groom are able to have larger budgets so these things have to be cut. You may get some flack on these forums from more traditional members, but in the end do you. You know what works for you & your family & your friends more than anyone else. I am guilty with this, being somewhat mortified by some posts. But I'm not going to your wedding, so take what I say (or any other members) with a grain of salt. We don't know your town, your neighborhood, your group of friends.

11. Treat your fiance. I feel like a lot of brides spend money & time on themselves (which they should) and the groom's don't since they aren't used to it and don't think to. My MOH involved my fiance in planning my bachelorette, I helped with his bachelor party, my mom bought him "groom" swag, I bought him teeth whitening strips, we are dieting together, I'm supporting his everyday gym routine, he is tanning, he bought new clothes for our honeymoon, I scheduled a massage/pedicure/manicure for both of us before the wedding, and scheduled a fancy wedding haircut for him! I know he feels more involved like it's truly his special day too.

12. Do your research on vendors. I'm SO happy I did this. Since we had extra time, I emailed 10-20 vendors per category and really read through all their reviews on multiple websites. I exchanged emails & phone calls with them, and scheduled phone calls or meetings with all of them 1-2 months prior so they all knew the layout of the wedding and what we were hoping for. Read through your contracts and make it SO clear on what you want.

That's my advice for now! I'm sure I'll have some for my BAM but I didn't want to overload there. What do you wish you knew prior to planning?

16 Comments

Latest activity by Elizabeth, on January 2, 2021 at 11:23 PM
  • Gen
    Champion June 2019
    Gen ·
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    This is wonderful and I agree with all of it!

    One thing I would add to your #2 (for myself at least) is that as much as it is great to get stuff done in advance, you shouldn't pressure yourself to make early decisions that you are not ready to make. I feel like my mindset very early on was "I have to make all these decisions immediately so I can finish early on and then relax" but since I pressured myself to make decisions so quickly I ended up changing my mind later on and then having to cancel / re-plan things. My husband teases me saying that by the time we got married, I had planned 5 different weddings lol. So as great as it is to get stuff done early on, you shouldn't pressure yourself into making a decision that you aren't sure about, just for the sake of "getting it done."

    I'm so excited for your BAM post! Smiley smile

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  • Jessica
    VIP October 2019
    Jessica ·
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    Thank you for this! Love all your advice ♥️ Can't wait to see all your pictures from your wedding next month!
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  • MrsD
    Legend July 2019
    MrsD ·
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    True! That's a good point. We made a lot of decisions earlier, more than a year out but we had SO much time to plan that even those decisions had several months of research behind them. I didn't rush anything so I am confident in my decisions. I agree, don't rush this stuff and give yourself time. Thanks! I'm so excited to get married.

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  • MrsD
    Legend July 2019
    MrsD ·
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    Thank you, we are so excited!

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  • Gen
    Champion June 2019
    Gen ·
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    Oh yeah if you made decisions you were confident with early on then that's wonderful! Early planning is great, as long as you aren't rushing yourself like I did sometimes Smiley tongue

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  • Kelly
    Super October 2019
    Kelly ·
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    Great thoughts!

    Question - I’m also thinking of getting Botox, but have never gotten it before. I’m just a bit confused on the best time to do it for the best results @ the wedding? Any thoughts? I was thinking 2 mos out bc I also want it during my bridal shower lol.

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  • MrsD
    Legend July 2019
    MrsD ·
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    I've gotten it twice before, I'd do it at least 1 month out. My lady recommended 1 month out since I've had it before. If you haven't had it, maybe closer to 2 months in case they hit a blood vessel & you bruise. Are you going in for a consultation prior? I did the first time which I liked because I saw pictures before & after and got an estimate for how many units I would need! I've been doing microneedling (twice) for scarring, pitting, and wrinkles. I did that 4 and 3 months out. Prior, I did microdermabrasion and two facials (monthly, 1 a month for 3 months). This upcoming week I'm getting botox & extractions. Then a week before the wedding I'm doing an O2 facial, lash lift & tint, dermaplanning, and body sugar scrub.

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  • MrsJohansson
    Expert June 2019
    MrsJohansson ·
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    I would love to see this as a pinned post or sticky!

    I wish we knew some of the things needed for having a wedding abroad e.g. dates, how far to book everything in advance and so on. It was good that we booked our accommodation in February/March because our destination is extremely popular and there were less than 5 places to choose from for June 😱

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  • MD
    Super July 2019
    MD ·
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    Girl, for us having the same date you make me feel like I am SLACKING. I have done no beauty treatments, whatsoever. I'll get my hair done & eyebrows waxed, and a main/pedi all the week of but that's about it. So power to you! I feel like you are incredibly on top of it and everything for your day should run very smoothly. Good luck with these last 4 weeks!

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  • A
    Expert August 2019
    Ami ·
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    So many good points here! I agree with everything you've shared.
    We're heading to our first dance lesson tonight, cant wait!
    • Reply
  • Kelly
    Super October 2019
    Kelly ·
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    I’m probably going to do a Groupon deal honestly. So I won’t go into get a consult prior. I’m just trying to figure out how many that I will need, but I think that I’m going to go w/ 40. My vision is terrible & it causes me to squint when I don’t wear my glasses (usually I wear them but there are times when my face & nose just needs a break) - and squinting cause more forehead lines.

    I already started doing hair removal in March. Sadly the place that I go to for that doesn’t offer Botox or I would use them.

    Also, I agree w/ you about dance classes if you can swing it - we are having a coordinated dance. We are about 5 or 6 classes into a 15 class bracket that we purchased. It’s also kind of fun to do once a week.
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  • NextChapterReady
    Super October 2019
    NextChapterReady ·
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    Congratulations! One month out is so close! And I agree most especially with the last note--reviewing vendor reviews is so important to help narrow down your choices! Smiley smile

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  • MrsD
    Legend July 2019
    MrsD ·
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    Yeah! I was so happy I had time to read probably too many reviews but enough to feel confident!

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  • MrsD
    Legend July 2019
    MrsD ·
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    I'm only getting it on my forehead! Mine is from not wearing sunglasses & squinting way too much. I think she said around 20 or 25 units.


    Cool! I did 4 sessions of laser hair removal, then stopped because I didn't have time & we moved so I have to find a new place. I need to go back for 3-4 more sessions for sure!

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  • Mrs. Spring
    Master April 2021
    Mrs. Spring ·
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    Thank you for all this detailed advice
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  • Elizabeth
    Dedicated April 2021
    Elizabeth ·
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    Wow this is sooo informative thank you! I tried and failed with taking care of myself so many times due to Covid and now I'm 4 months away and starting to feel anxious and guilty about it.
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