1 Ceremony or 2 Ceremonies?

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Thank you! I really appreciate your words of kindess.

We are doing a Catholic wedding and reception at a different venue. Sounds like the problem is your family and friends complaining and calling it "ghetto" This is the traditional route and absolutely normal. They seem entitled and rude and I wouldn't concern myself with their opinions.

If you want to do the two ceremonies, there is no reason why you can’t. However, I would save my dress and hair/makeup appointments for the big one on Saturday, and just stick with something simple for the formal ceremony. I also think it’s totally appropriate to have everyone go to the church and then to the venue. That is typically how weddings go, so I wouldn’t worry or care what people thought about it. My only other thought is that I’ve never been to a Friday wedding in a Catholic Church. I didn’t realize they allowed that. Everyone I know who has ever married in a Catholic Church has been given exact time options on Saturday’s. I would double check that before you make any decisions as far as changing plans.

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You're right I really shouldn't, it's just hurtful because you would think people would be more supportive at a time like this instead of focusing on their own individual desires for a day that's in theory is not supposed to be about them. Just the weight of the negativity has me second guessing things and worrying about the convience of the guests and so on but I think I'll follow everyone's advice here and do the one ceremony the way I want and as you said it's not an abnormal thing!

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Thank you for the info! I think with this specific church they have two chapels so maybe on Friday they would be able to use one of them for a wedding ceremony if needed at least that's my understanding. I'll double check to be sure.

The majority of weddings that i have attended (25+ in the last 10 years) have been church weddings followed by a reception at another venue. The things to keep in mind when choosing this is transportation, and limiting the time gap between start times.

- If possible, see if your hotel provides shuttles or maybe look into hiring shuttles to get people to the ceremony and back (sounded like your reception venue is the hotel).

- choose the latest possible time for your catholic ceremony - usually 3:30. That would last until 4 without a full mass, 4:30 with a full mass, factor in time to get back to the venue (say 30 minutes), which means your cocktail hour would start at 5pm while you take your pictures, dinner at 6pm, then dancing from 7 til whenever.

Multiple locations CAN be very inconvenient for guests, but definitely not if you plan thoughtfully!! The only time we've ever had complaints is when there's multiple hours between the ceremony and reception and/or there is a really long distance between the 2 locations (more than a 30 minute drive)

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Wow thank you so much for this breakdown you have no idea how much this helps! You sound like a pro at this! We're thinking of doing a non-mass service at 3:30pm and the hotel would in theory (with traffic you never know!) be 10 mins away or so. Do you think 5pm start time at the hotel would still work? I would consider 4:30pm but then I figure maybe people might take some time to settle in and etc, not sure. Thank you again so much!

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I think 5pm would be fine since you never know about traffic, and people will probably mill around a bit before leaving the church. If they have a little time at the hotel, there's a hotel bar probably, or they can check-in or freshen up in their rooms for max 30 minutes. Totally fine! Good luck with planning, it sounds like you are thinking about everything the right way

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Thank you so much for the advice and support! I really appreciate it, beyond measure!

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No, it's really not. In fact, as a guest, it's what I have experienced the most. Of all the many weddings I have attended in my life, most of them have been ceremony at the church, and reception somewhere else. Even my two siblings did it this way when they were married. I think the idea of an all-inclusive or all-in-one venue is a more recent trend. The one wedding I went to that had ceremony and reception in the same place was when a friend of mine got married at a hotel. Neither she nor her husband were religious, and didn't want to get married in a church, so they were able to have the ceremony at the courtyard of the hotel, and the reception in the ballroom. Otherwise, this is the way many weddings take place.

Bear in mind that if you have the ceremony on Friday with immediate family you would also need to host them afterwards in some way (lunch, dinner, appetizers, cake; it would depend on the time of day), so that would have an effect on your budget as well.