+1 Advice

Her boyfriend wouldn't be considered a plus one. Plus ones are for people that are single. Your friend and her boyfriend are a social unit and should be invited as such. Also, if you wedding is a month away shouldn't you have sent invitations by now?

Her boyfriend should have been invited with her in the first place. If you truly do not have the room, I would just reach out to her and let her know, however, I would be prepared for her to change her RSVP to a no.

If it were me, I would let her bring him since you already told her yes. Even though it was rude for her to ask in the first place, it would also be rude to take back the invite You'll just have to decide what choice is best, but know she may not come at all if you take back the boyfriend invite.

I think all significant others should be included in guest count for anyone 18 and over.

He wasn’t invited because I don’t know him and have never met him, I haven’t even talked to her in a long time. She was invited because I know her family and we grew up together. Our venue is small so we weren’t able to give everyone a +1.

Again, he isn't a plus one. Regardless of whether you know him or not, he should have been invited. You need to figure out room though, especially since you already said he should come.

I don't find it necessary for everyone to jump down your throat about it (thats how I read the comments anyway). Whether or not its proper to have a plus one and what etiquette or society dictates doesn't matter at this point. Unfortunately, you've already said yes and have you have to hold to your word. Its only one extra chair, so hopefully you can figure it out. Most times, you have people that RSVP that don't show so maybe that will make up for it. Just breathe and roll with the punches.

I think since you already said yes it would be rude to take it back

Well you already told her yes and he's not a plus one he's a significant other. It doesn't matter if you don't know him really. Plenty of my husband's military friends got new girlfriends after save the dates whom we never met before and they were perfectly nice and fun at our wedding. You already gave her the green light so you kind of have to stick with it. One person is really dis-servicing your entire wedding one month before? Surely your rsvps are coming in, you will have declines.

Oh no! Shame on her for putting you in the spotlight like that and catching you off guard. If you genuinely don’t have the space for one extra person and it will mess with your seating arrangements I would call her and explain the situation that you can only accommodate the original number of invited persons due to budget restrictions/ limited space/ etc.

I think all significants should be included

She should have asked at a more private time, but what’s done is done. Just squeeze him at her table. If she felt the need to have him there so badly, she can be a little cramped. However if she rsvp-ed with her name only, I would call and say that you were confused at the shower and thought he was already included, but after double checking the list he’s not on it and you have no more room.

I also don’t believe that just because you have a bf/gf that means you automatically get a plus one. A significant other is a spouse or someone you are engaged to. Anyone can find a date for a weekend to bring to a wedding. I’ve had many bfs in my life that I wouldn’t think were serious enough to warrant a plus one to a wedding. I don’t think you were wrong not to have him on the invite if you didn’t know he existed either. I’m not really sure why so many of the previous posters are appalled that he wasn’t invited in the first place. I think you were correct with whom was and was not invited.

I mean, you said yes already so the only option is to find room. Squeeze in an extra chair at her table, shift your seating chart around — I’m not sure exactly how it will work for your layout, but, finding a way to fit him is really the only thing you can do at this point.

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I agree with your advice here... Maybe just reach out to the friend and explain the situation to her? Or see if the venue can accommodate one more person.

Right! Realistically, if you are doing round tables, I believe 12 is the most that will fit at a round table.

View Quoted Comment Yes! Thank you! Im so surprised that everyone is so upset about it and jumping down OP’s throat. I read it originally as she didn’t know about him in the first pace or it’s a relatively new relationship.

I personally would contact her and apologize that you werent aware that she was dating someone and that you actually wont have room for him
Since you said you havent talked to her in a long time, i find it rude she even asked for a plus one in the first place-and i dont think you owe her a plus one either

Reach out and just tell them you didn’t know but you have to cut the guest list. Some unforeseen circumstances happened

I do think it was very rude for her to put you on the spot if we’re talking about etiquette and unfortunately you should honor your word and invite him. As pp said squeeze him in at her table.

I also don’t believe that everyone receives a +1 automatically. I was invited to a distant cousins wedding through my parents (I had been living with my BF now FH at the time for about a year and dating for 6). I only went to the wedding to see other family members who I hadn’t seen in a long time and my parents really wanted me there so they RSVP’d for me — 3 out of 3 like the card stated. Never once did I assume FH could “just come” especially since I didn’t even receive a personal invite so how could he!? Just like you I don’t even think my cousin knew he existed, so I didn’t hold it against her and FH was more than fine with not going.

View Quoted Comment This! We gave plus ones to relationships we knew of but we have plenty of friends that are “dating” someone that they don’t even believe are important enough to mention, let alone bring to a wedding.

Honestly, we gave our entire bridal party plus ones because they should be able to after everything they did for us. Some of them were only dating someone on and off a few months and brought them and truthfully, acted kind of embarrassing. It’s important a relationship is somewhat serious to be included or else you get someone who really doesn’t give a damn about their date and especially not the bride and groom.