What is the proper etiquette to state 'no kids allowed'?

Normally, you would not put " Adults Only" on the invitation. Proper etiquette is to only address the invitation to the adults you are inviting. If you are inviting children you would put their names on the inner envelope. Instead of putting a notice on the invitation, perhaps have your friends and family help "spread the word" to your wishes. If you do decide to put an "adults only" phrase on your invitations be ready for some disenchanted invitees with children.

I was wondering that also and I have talked to some of my friends with kids and they understand. My children will be in the ceremony and the dinner part of the wedding but I am having a sitter come and get them after that. I know my family and they are going to celebrate. I am allowing the family that is from out of town to have their children attend but they will be going with the sitter also. I love my children with all my heart but I don't want to be chasing after them all night long during our reception. I will be putting "adult only reception" on our invite also... I hope that helps

As it's been mentioned above, technically it's not appropriate to say "Adult Reception" or anything like that. The addressing of the invitation should be enough but I realize it may not be. It's probably best to handle those cases on an individual basis rather than try to add a phrase to your invitation unless you think you're going to have a lot of them.

I do like the "sweet dreams" comment - haven't seen that one.

Or...is it possible to do a 2nd version of your reception card for the people you are very concerned about?

Can you just say that b/c it's at a winery, children are not allowed? (not on the invitation, I mean call people and tell them that if they reply with a child)

I'm stuck in a tough spot with this topic also. My family all agrees that kids+wedding= NO. His family is the opposite, and he's already told me that even if I say it's an adults-only wedding, someone will drag their brats along. And knowing my luck, it will be the most irritating ones. At least you have the edge of hosting it at a winery. That just makes sense!

I've had this problem already. Over a year before the wedding my cousin told me she couldn't find a babysitter for her kids. Here was my answer ok then bring them to the ceremony ONLY then get a hotel room and have someone entertain them there. I believe that children do not belong at a wedding. The reason being there will be alcohol and no one will be paying any attention to them. Like on Bridezilla where the whole wedding turned into a search for a missing little boy. Some people get it and some don't but stand your ground because you are the one paying for it.

I would suggest putting "adult only reception" at the bottom of the invitation. That's what I intend to do. People may say that it's mean not to invite children, but I disagree. Unfortunately, I have a very large family, and a very large number of misbehaving children, and young mothers who can't control their children. I've been to NUMEROUS family weddings where kids screamed throughout the ceremony, ran around the dance floor during the bride & groom's first date, threw food...It's a sad fact, but the only way to ensure that children won't act like this is to not invite them at all. I know I don't want my ceremony ruined by a three year old who's throwing a tantrum because he doesn't want to be there in the first place...

I'm having a similar situation. We have decided not to invite 2nd cousins and friends kids because there are 40 of them and most of them are children and we are way over our max occupancy, but leaves some kids still coming like nieces and nephews and couple younger first cousins. How do we tell our cousins that their kids can't come?

This is a really hard subject. I love kids, and I wouldn't mind having certain ones there, but I know you can't say some are ok to come and others are not. My problem is, I have a cousin who has children that are so ill behaved, they punch and hit each other and go screaming and crying to my aunt, who is there grandma. I want her to be able to enjoy her evening too. I have other cousins who have children that I have never met. They have had birthday parties for them, and never invited any of the cousins, but just the aunts and uncles. I really don't want to pay for someones children that I have never met, let alone not know how they will behave. I don't mean to sound harsh, I just feel like I am darned if I do and darned if I don't.

We're doing no children also, aside from my 5 nieces & nephews who are all in the wedding (flower girls, ring bearer & junior groomsman). My fiance has a 13 year old sister who's a junior bridesmaid & obviously invited as well. Aside from these 6 children we are not inviting any other children. As someone else stated, we are over capacity & don't want to pay $30 for chicken finger dinners for everyone's children. We are simply writing on the bottom of the RSVP card & on our wedding website: "Adult Only Affair - No Children Please." Years ago when my brother got married they stuck w/ "etiquette rules" & only addressed the invitations to adults yet rude people still wrote in their children on the RSVPs & brought them anyway. I don't see it as a problem that we're having our immediate family children & not inviting any others as these children are part of the wedding party. It's your choice to invite whomever you want as you're paying for it! If people don't like it they can stay home!

I think it is absolutely ridiculous that anyone should have to go to any trouble. It should be understood that certain events are for adults only. No host should ever be put in the position of having to be the bad guy. Unless the invite says "Children Welcome" or addressed to "Uncle Joe, Aunt Mary and family" then the assumption should be that the invitation only extends to those to whom it was addressed. Furthermore it should be taboo to even ask. The only reason I'm even reading what "today's" standards are is because I have a neighbor who I like to have a drink or two with on the patio on weekends. He has three obnoxious kids that are hyperactive and constantly have to be the center of attention. Constantly interrupting the conversation and neither he nor his wife ever correct them and actually encourage it by turning their attention to them in mid-sentence. Last weekend my wife and I were celebrating our 30th anniversary and invited the neighbors over "for drinks" the invitation was worded "Doris and I would like to drink with you tonight if you can make it." I was called every name in the book because I had to be the bad guy and say that this get together was for adults only.