Is is rude to invite people to the wedding reception but not the ceremony

I have heard of people having the ceremony with immediate family only, and then everyone is invited to the reception. I don't think there's anything wrong with that.

It's not uncommon to have a private ceremony and a bigger reception. But you do not invite them to the ceremony and not the reception! MAJOR NO NO! However, if people are going to be flying in for the event, they should be invited to both.

But you phrase it on the invitations saying

Please join us for the celebration of the marriage (or something similar)

On the bottom of the invitation put:

"Private ceremony to be held earlier in the day"

Then, you can do an insert, or even a seperate invite to the ceremony.

May I also suggest having them a few hours apart, so that reception guests don't arrive early and disrupt the ceremony of the pictures...

But be aware, you won't get the grand entrance of the reception- if you care about that. But it's also free for people to attend a ceremony. It's the reception that costs money.

How about screening the ceremony for the reception-only guests? Have it recorded and screened for them. At the end of the recorded tape, enter into the reception.

I like Meghan's idea of phrasing the invitation that way, however, if they're flying in, I wouldn't be surprised if they still felt insulted. It's best not to refer to it as a reception (as a ceremony will be expected) and keep the invitation less formal.

Natasha Jones

and

Lois Steiner

will be married in a private

wedding ceremony on

Saturday, the fourth of October

two thousand fourteen

Please celebrate with us at our

reception following the ceremony

at six o'clock in the evening

Harbor view Golf Club

8710 Harbor view Club Drive

Hilliard, Ohio

I think it's fine. but agree that if they are flying in they may feel slighted.

around here the wording of choice is

so and so are getting married at 2 pm on July 6th 2012 at place.

Please join us in a reception in their honor at 6pm on july 6th at place.

I am actually doing the opposite. NOt everyone will be able to come to the reception just because we just can't afford to pay for another person. We started at 150 guests nd already upped it to 178. But the chapel holds a max of 300 people and it doesn't cost us anything to add people for that so we did "ceremony only" postcards to invite more people. Most people didnt see it as a big deal. One lady thought it was tacky and decided to voice her opinion but I think it was more because she was personally offended she wasn't on the "A list".

A good friend of ours got married a year or two ago and had only their immediate family attend their ceremony. All of us friends met up with them for the reception. I didn't think it was rude at all.

If you're having people pay expense and flying in, they may be highly offended to not attend both events. Especially if they're paying for flights and hotel rooms. But it is your day, and you're allowed to do what makes you and your FH happy :-)

I'm actually in the same boat as Maria. We can only afford to have 160 at our Reception, but we have so many more people we would like to invite. For us, the ceremony is the most important event, and our place can hold about 300 comfortably. So we're sending out two batches of invites. One batch is ceremony only to 140 guests, and the other is Ceremony & Reception to 160 guests. I'm sure there may be a little back lash from certain ones who aren't on the Reception list.

I think it's perfectly fine for you to do it this way, but I strongly advise people not to invite people to the ceremony ONLY. you will end up with extra guests at your reception. My sister did this and people were pissed. A few even took their gifts with them. It's very easy to ask someone where the reception is located. Where I am from, that is in poor taste.

I've never heard of this... and I don't think I'd feel it was rude, but I might be a bit sad. I love the ceremony... it's so beautiful.

It is quite rude to invite people to the ceremony only! You can't afford to have them at the reception, but inviting them to the ceremony still implies they should get you a gift.

There are people who do enjoy the ceremony, but for the most part, the ceremony is boring as heck for guests. They want to celebrate with you, not watch you say a few words. They want to talk to you, not watch you do stuff from a distance.

To the brides considering doing this, know it breaks every ettiquette rule in the book and makes your friends feel like second class friends. You'll burn more bridges than just telling people you are having a very small, intimate ceremony with close friends and family only.

It is not rude at all, at least from what I have experienced, it is pretty common. We are doing it too. We'll have private ceremony with around 50 people all family and really close friends, and then bigger ceremony with over 200 people. Our main invitation is actually the invitation for reception (celebration), we have an insert card for private ceremony which we put in the invites for the ceremony (and reception) guests.

I can count 11 weddings I have been to over the last 5 years and I have attended 4 receptions. Myself and others I have spoken to with similar experiences have not been offended at all.

If you want to invite a large number of guests to a ceremony and not a sit down reception it is courteous to provide them with:

Small reception snacks afterwards (tea/water and tiny snacks)

And/or

Wedding favor to each ceremony guest (cellophane bags with candy, boxed cupcakes, etc.)- this is where I have felt the most welcome when not invited to the ceremony. This way you show appreciation for their attendance, but don't go into debt!

If someone doesn't understand tight finances, do you want them at your wedding OR reception?

ALWAYS INVITE OUT OF TOWN GUESTS TO RECEPTION.

I believe it is extremely rude to invite people to the ceremony and not the reception. I had an experience where a lady from Church got married. She had an open invitation to her bridal shower and ceremony but a close reception for friends she and her fiancee chose. Very sour experience. It shows poor etiquette and makes people feel bad. The same crowd at bridal shower&ceremony should be at the reception. Expecting gifts, a full church and excluding people at the reception can cause you to lose friends.

It also depends what country you are in, as well as what religion (if any). In some places and within some faiths, it is standard practice for the ceremony to be quite small and the reception large. In others (including most of the US and usually with purely secular ceremonies) it's considered odd, if not rude, but the US is not the world. My partner is not American and he was very surprised that we weren't creating two separate lists; I am American and I had never heard of inviting people to one and not the other! I also have attended foreign weddings where the ceremony is done in a very small room where you couldn't possibly fit the reception guests. Anyhow, the posted answer to this question is absolutely true, in my experience, for American secular ceremonies, but that's it.

It is SOOOO rude to invite people to the ceremony and not the reception. I would feel so hurt and angry if someone did this to me. If you can afford 150 people, invite 150 and do it well. Better that than inviting 300 to a ceremony, 150 to the reception, and having half upset that they aren't invited for the party. Also I would think many of the people invited to the reception (though glad to be invited) would feel sorry for those not invited and also judge you for being so inconsiderate and tacky. In this situation you can't 'have your cake and eat it too' ....full corny pun intended.

I’m struggling with this too but I’m the opposite I only have limited space at my venue but I can fit a lot at my church we don’t want to hurt peoples feelings if we only invite them to the ceremony especially if I’m not to close to that person but still talk. I wouldn’t be hurt if that happen to me I would respect the bride and grooms choice at least you were invited to ceremony or reception....REMEMBER!! It’s your wedding you do what makes you happy because at the end of your wedding day people are still going to talk

The original question asked was about inviting people to the reception but not the ceremony. Let's refocus. We too are considering this option as we don't want a big hoopla either. My FH doesn't even enjoy the attention on his birthday. We are thinking of inviting only our parents, grandparents, and siblings (not their spouses or kids) to the ceremony while doing a larger reception (no more than 80). However, in my family we live by the "it takes a village" mindset for child rearing and I have an aunt that never had kids and considers her nieces and nephews as her own. She helped my mom buy my first car. Do I invite her (with her husband)? If I do, then I have to invite all my mom's siblings with their spouses - which would be an additional four people. Do I add their my cousins and their kids' kids?Then it gets out of control. Help!

One way to cut down on the number of reception and ceremony guest is to do the invite quiz. They are all over Pinterest. For example, if you have talked with the "friend" in over a year, is it worth adding them?