How to address people who assume they have a plus one

I would probably let the bridesmaid have a plus one, since she is in your bridal party. As to the others, you could just say that you are trying to keep the wedding intimate and have limited the guest list. You would love if they could attend, but you are unfortunately unable to extend an invitation to them for an additional guest.

I would probably ignore the comments for now and address them at the invitation stage if needed. For single people, address the invitation to them only. Hopefully they understand how invitations work. If they RSVP with a date, call them and explain that you're sorry but your can't accommodate extra people and you hope they can still make it. Or if they ask you, then just say no. I don't think you have to address it now before invitations have gone out.

Although I do agree with the previous poster about allowing your wedding party to have a date.

Your bridal party should get a date. for sure.

Everyone else? What I always tell you to say, lol...."Our space and budget are both limited so we've had to make some difficult decisions about our guest list. We are so hoping you can come, but we're also hoping that we can't invite everyone with a casual date."

or, alternatively, "no, you can't bring a random guy."

Agree you have to let the wedding party have a date. Others, you should address the invite to the specific names. We also mentioned it on our website

Okay we carefully labeled invitations as "Mr. & Mrs. & Family" but then we also sent out our RSVP cards and on it said please indicate each guest who's attending: and there were a few blank lines, this was so we know which family members were attending. My friend (single/my age) was not familiar with formal RSVP cards and added her friend (guy who graduated a year ahead of us and his gf??) I knew the guy and knew of his gf but I had to let her know right after we got her response card in the mail, "sorry for the confusion but that was intended for the invitations sent to large families only."

Basically moral of the story is don't feel like you have to uninvite guests, you should have the person who wrongfully invited them uninvite them. I hope it works out for you.

Oh and most of my wedding party members were not in relationships and didn't want to bring dates, but a couple did invite their parents which was fine by me, because DH and I both know and like them. So yes, you should probably let them all have a plus one even if they aren't in "serious relationships."

I am going to make sure and address the envelopes so hopefully people will get the point, but I know there are going to be some that don't care. Just prepping on this one. I'm waiting on my invitations to come in after one paper store gave me the run around for weeks. I'll be sending them out the second we of January or so...I'm sure I will follow up with this thread then! Thanks for the tips, y'all!

My response cards actually say X seat(s) have been reserved for you.

I am doing the same thing as you with plus ones, and that was the only way I could be sure no one tried to pull a fast one!

I have also vocalized that we are trying to keep the wedding as small as possible and are not having plus ones unless people are in serious relationships.

Can you write their names on the RSVP cards with boxes next to it? So they understand they can't add a person.

Address the STDs and invites specifically to them, and then say something like "we have reserved 1 seat for you" on the RSVP card. We have to do this as well. Only those who are engaged or married can bring their SO. We are making an exception for two unmarried couples, but FH and I are good friends with both people in the relationship. We don't have the space or the money for a guest to bring a random person they found at the last minute.

I had a friend of mine assume that since the RSVP card has a line asking for number attending that he could bring a FRIEND. He and I are close enough that I just looked at him and said no. His envelope was addressed to only him so I don't know why he would think that. We are only allowing dates for couples who are married or living together or if FH and I know both parties of the relationship.

FH and I don't live together yet I would consider our relationship pretty serious, and would hope we would be given a plus 1 even if we didn't know both parties.

OP- I would give plus 1s to bridesmaids as a sort of thank you, everyone else what people said.

ETA I'm biased because I gave most people a plus 1 since it requires overnight stay for most guests, so even if they bring a friend, if that will allow them to come it's worth it to me to pay extra

I made the exception for my BMs. If they are more comfortable with a date, then so be it.

Everyone else I said;

"I'm sorry that it wasn't clearer, and we're excited you're coming, but our guest list is packed so we can't include a date for every guest."

No pushback so far and I said that to about 4 people.

I am only giving a plus one to those who are married/engaged/been dating 6mo. or longer OR if I and/or FH am friends with their gf/bf.

IMO, I think that you know your guests best... and I know people say "you cant judge how serious their relationship is blah blah blah".. but personally, I think you have every right, lol its your day, your wedding, and if you don't want someone there, you are not obligated to invite anyone lol. I wouldn't feel bad if someone didn't invite FH there, im there to celebrate the couple, not have "date night" with my fiancé.

Some people can afford to have everyone and their family there, some cant. If the budget allows, go for it, if not, then I personally wouldn't cut someone important from my life if it meant have someones random date come... especially if they know others at the wedding. Just make sure those singletons are sitting with friends/family/ fun people or other singletons.

My response cards let them know how many seats are reserved for them...

Bridal Party, yes you can bring ONE other! But for everyone else, if I did not list you on the invite...I can't have you there. Honestly....money and space are an issue!

Thanks everyone for the advice. I am working on the wording for the response cards and have been going back and forth on having it say "___ number attending" or "____ seats have been reserved for you" and filling it in myself. I feel like some people may take the second with offensive, but if I leave it up to them to use their common sense in the ___number attending they will do it wrong. Which wording do you think is better?

I agree bridal party should get a plus one , who they choose is up to them. As for the others , don't feel like you're being rude by telling them no , they are the rude ones to have invited in the first place. Or you can even word it like this , "if you want xxxx to come to our wedding , would you like to pay for their plate ? " if they look at you blankly or say ..no..tell them sorry we're trying to keep it intimate with ppl we know and love

I will be the minority vote here and say bridal party doesn't need a plus one if they aren't dating anyone at all. One of my bm's wanted to bring a random girl to "party with" to my wedding verus an actual date. I decided at that moment that no plus ones. It's one thing to bring a date, it's another to bring a random friend to party with at a formal event where she knows mores than half the guest list, some are family members etc. She also is a fan of not having significant others at the rehearsal dinner bc she is single. So it was just a wierd situation but it all worked out bc none of the bm's will have a date by choice at this point and no one wanted significant others at rd. To be honest if it would have been an issue I *may* have caved but I wouldn't have been happy to have a random party friend who knows no one taking up all of her time at my wedding

Bridal party is always offered a plus one. As for the others just say what you told us (but only if you have already sent invites which state who specifically is invited)

Just make sure you're offering dates to people in a relationship - not just those you deem to be in a serious relationship. You're asking people to come and celebrate your relationship, make sure you respect theirs. If they have someone they go around introducing as the 'boyfriend/girlfriend/fiancee/spouse' those two people get invited as a social unit.

I couldn't tell from your post if that's how you were doing it or not. Otherwise I say wedding party members should get a +1, dating or not.