Help - No Kids allowed at wedding but people are bringing them anyway!!!
I have told people, posted it on my website and even sent an email that due to our size constraints we can not allow children at the wedding, but I just got a reply back to the email that states very clearly no kids from one of my (out of state) cousins that they are bringing there two young girls. How do I respond back to him???

Married: 11/21/2009
Reviews: 3
Posted On: Jul 2, 2009 at 9:53 AM • Vendors are allowed • Add to My WatchlistFlag As Inappropriate1 like

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FMS, the barefoot wife!
Married: 2+ years ago
Reviews: 10
Jul 02, 2009 at 10:16 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
Well, first of all..crappy you have to go through this, Guests really should just obide by the rules, but ofcourse they always think they are the 'acception'....lol I would stick to your guns and reply back that, unfortunatley under any circumstances, there cannot be kids at the wedding and you hope they will be able to make arrangments for the kids to stay somewhere so they can make it. and if they don't manage to find anyone, that your sad they couldn't make it, but you understand and you hope to catch up with them at a later date! And make it absolutely known to parents that under NO circumstances..children are NOT ALLOWED..no matter how much a realitive is complaining and making them feel guilty!

Married: 08/22/2009
Jul 02, 2009 at 10:30 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
I dont think I could ask my guest not to bring the kid(s) Especially if they are out of state or the area, Who is to say if they have money for a baby setter or even if they feel comfortable leaving there kids at home with out them. I see ware your coming from with the room problem but I would never ask my family/friends not to bring there kids. Maybe this is just me but its my opinion.

Ms. Nakilah
Married: 08/14/2010
Jul 02, 2009 at 11:10 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
I would have to agree with the PP. I have a ton of kids in my family and i couldnt see them not being there. I also have 3 children myself so i couldnt see leaving them out or even having them there and no one to socialize with... I understand with the money or room issues but asking someone to leave their little one with someone else is asking a lot... it almost alienates those with kids...they have to decide between spending a special day with you and leaving their children behind or not making your special day because of their children....

Pistol
Married: 2+ years ago
Jul 02, 2009 at 11:41 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
I agree that young kids don't belong at a wedding reception..nice dinner, alcohol, and dancing. What is a young kid going to do to keep entertained? Do yourself, the guests, and the kids too a favor and leave them home. If the rents can't find a babysitter then they'll have to decline. I've seen young kids menace many weddings.

Married: 08/15/2009
Jul 02, 2009 at 11:41 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
I'm with you on this Mallorie
i'm in the same predicament now.... i'm inviting a 100 guest. out of that 100 there is only 8 that does'nt have kids..
Due to budgetary constraints i cannot afford to pay for the 100 guest plus about 93 more children. so i had to put it in my invitaions that it will be an adult only reception..
so far i have 4 persons complaining but there is nothing really i can do...
i want a debt life after the wedding!
so stick to the plan... No kids!!

Ms. Nakilah
Married: 08/14/2010
Jul 02, 2009 at 11:52 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
i guess my family is just way different because the kids in our family LOVE receptions. they dance and love getting all dressed up and celebrating... my kids hear the word wedding and they are running to the closet to get their outfits ready. i couldnt imagine not having the kids in my family there. I was actually thinking of something fun just for them like a magician or a few minutes of Disney channel type music... IDK... but to each its own... I understand both sides.

Married: 07/17/2009
Reviews: 10
Jul 02, 2009 at 11:58 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
NO Kids! I am not making exceptions even for my family. My neices and nephews will be at the wedding and later will go back to hotel during the reception.

Married: 07/10/2010
Reviews: 3
Jul 02, 2009 at 12:13 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
I'm sorry but I think this is a personal preference and Mallorie and her FI have every right to want an adult reception if that is their choice. Some couples couldn't imagine a day without sharing it with their children or family's/friend's children but that doesn't mean that everyone feels that way. In the end, it is up to the couple on how they envision their day. Yes, maybe some will not make it due to not being able to/wanting to find a sitter but that is just something that the couple will have to realize during the planning process. Others may welcome the special night together without their kids.

Now, the subject of the post is how to tell someone that the venue will not allow any more guests and that the kids can't come. Mallorie, in my opinion, you really should make sure you get in touch with your guest before she makes plans to travel with her girls. Explain that you are sorry but an exception for one means an exception for everyone and there is just no room. cont

Married: 07/10/2010
Reviews: 3
Jul 02, 2009 at 12:16 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
Or you can play dumb and say you are happy that she can make it and ask what the girls will be doing for the day while the adults are at your wedding.

Good luck. It is a sucky situation but if you let her bring her kids and noone else, then you may have hurt feelings all over the place rather than from one guest.

Jessica
Married: 09/05/2009
Reviews: 6
Jul 02, 2009 at 12:21 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
Yes, it is a personal preference and if you don't want them there, then the guests will have to get over it. It's your wedding and you know what you want and can afford. I say stick to your guns. Just explain that due to budget/space/alcohol or type of party, this is an adults only reception. Offer to help them find a babysitter if they don't know of any. My best friend was married last year, they didn't invite kids, people RSVP'd with their kids and she didn't say anything, she just let it slide. The kids almost knocked over the projector showing the slide show, they ran all over the place, and one ended up in the ER because he sliced his head open because they were running around.

Married: 11/21/2009
Reviews: 3
Jul 02, 2009 at 12:27 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
I would love for everyone to come and avoid all this drama but due to the obvious budget concerns and space concerns. The fact of the matter is that I am having to take some close friends off the list to make room for children of family members that I have not seen in years.

Married: 11/21/2009
Reviews: 3
Jul 02, 2009 at 12:30 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
I really appreciate all the advice it is helping me out in not feeling like such a bad guy. I am trying not to become a bridezilla but i am at my breaking point right now. The wedding planning has been so smooth except for this enormous problem =(

lauren10
Married: 2+ years ago
Reviews: 4
Jul 02, 2009 at 12:50 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
Hey, at least your reason is budget constraints...my reason for not having kids at the wedding is simply that I don't want them anywhere near it! I would have no problem telling anyone that tries that they can't bring their kids. I totally understand that some people see it as a hardship to get a sitter and make arrangements, which is why I'd be totally understanding if they decided not to come to the wedding because of it. It doesn't make you, or any of us, a bad person for having that preference. As far as I'm concerned, this cousin didn't have the courtesy of complying with your wishes...so you have every right to stand your ground and be totally frank when you talk to them. You have nothing to apologize for either...just say, I see that you included your children on the invite, but hubby and I decided that we are not making any exceptions for having children at the wedding. Enough said! good luck! :)

Married: 10/03/2009
Reviews: 9
Jul 02, 2009 at 12:52 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
Ok, I have done the same on my invitations as well, but they haven't gone out yet.. but my cousin told me that if anyone replies w/ children on the response card to call them & explain that you would love to have them there but you can't bear the extra cost for a child to eat!! Please $120 for a child to eat, NO WAY!! Kindly tell them that you would appreciate it if they found a sitter.. I hope all goes well for you & FH!!

Married: 09/24/2009
Reviews: 6
Jul 02, 2009 at 1:47 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
Ok so this is my suggestion. Will alcohol be served at the wedding? If so explain to them that your venue's liqueur license is not valid when children are located in the hall and that while you would love to have their children present the hall has requested NO CHILDREN!! That way you don't look like the bad guy and the kids don't show up. Also make sure to tell your caterer and venue of what you have told everyone so that way if the parents start asking around your story becomes legit.

Ms. Nakilah
Married: 08/14/2010
Jul 02, 2009 at 2:07 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
I like one of the earlier post that was basically saying "sorry as much as i would like to have you here we just cant accommadate children. and we would love to see you later at a family event or something like that....

megdalena
Married: 05/21/2010
Jul 02, 2009 at 4:37 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
If you want to be really too nice you could hire a babysitter to watch the kids during the reception at some other location. But like many others have said you should probably just stick to your guns.

Married: 09/03/2011
Jul 02, 2009 at 4:38 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
I am kind of back and forth with this issue as well because me and my FH have lots of kids in our family. But like some of you we will not have the money to feed over 200 adults and maybe just as many kids. Really not sure what to do just yet. I want to do the adult only thing though because it will save on so much money.

JulyBride
Married: 07/25/2009
Reviews: 5
Jul 02, 2009 at 6:44 PM • 
This post has been flagged by the WeddingWire Community and is now hidden.

Married: 05/28/2011
Jul 03, 2009 at 2:22 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
I hear what both people are saying and I am glad I only have about 20 kids or less coming to the wedding. As for what Ms Nakilah said it's not just your family mine to. You say wedding and it's on lol. My FH is thinking about having no DJ and I'm like I don't know how that's going to work with my family lol. I am also going to make a coloring book for the kids I made one already and it looks great I found this program online called Eclipse Crosswords and it's free to down load. all you have to do when you down load it is enter the Questions and answers you want and they make a cross word for you than you can save or print them. I made a few of these for the older kids coming to the wedding. I was also thinking about making a cross word for the bridal shower for a game. I was thinking about calling it how well you know the bride and groom and the first person to answer them all right would win a prize.
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