Help me not feel bad about not inviting family

Oh girl. You should not feel bad at all. FH's cousins were upset that we aren't allowing children at the wedding but you know what--people will get over it. It's your day. Stick to your guns.

You need to do what's best for you and your future spouse!! Don't feel bad, and your family can deal with it. Good luck!!!

It sounds like you need to be clear ASAP with your family, as when rando family members are RSVPing, it sounds like they may be responding with "great see you then!!". It's not wrong of you, but you need to be CLEAR to avoid drama. Usually with this I try to take out the emotional aspects and add logical- inviting 100 extra people will account for $10,000 extra dollars because x, y, and z.

Thanks you guys- your are lifting the weight off my shoulders! My mom claims she will pay for the extra people (which... who knows if she actually would) but the space would just feel so full with more people added and then if I let my mom add more people, it would be unfair to FHs family. As it is, my side is already overshadowing his. Because my grandma passed away we are inviting her sister to the wedding. SHE is the one who has been taking a "poll" on who would attend. People have been asking my aunts and mom if they were invited. Who does that??

My aunts tried to claim that because it was on Facebook, third cousins would know and be upset.... It's not like I am putting my wedding invitation on Facebook! The only thing I did was change my Facebook status to engaged. They're like "it's only 20 extra people!". My entire wedding is 80 people! That would be 20%

Oh do I know about Mexican family weddings!!! I feel you! It's no joke when they really want to invite EVERYONE! We have huge families on both of our sides and we've told our immediate families we are going to be mindful of our budget and amount of people invited. I haven't had my wedding yet but I have plenty of 2nd & 3rd cousins that I'm not planning to invite. Besides if we rarely talk, Why would they be invited anyway!? Don't feel bad. I would take your 80 family members over my 200 of immediate family ha ha.

I was originally thinking it was going to be like a 400 person wedding. I don't think one side will be "overshaddowed" if that's what you're worried about.

I'm also assuming your family isn't contributing at all, if they are, that money usually comes with strings, and you may have to invite it. It sounds like you've already though about it and decided those 20 people aren't worth the drama.

My mother is telling me to invite second aunts that I never speak to to the wedding. and I went bridezilla on her and told her that I'm gonna invite family who is close to me. she said I have no heart lol I'm hispanic and I know how you feel about inviting everyone and people sneaking other people into those parties. and my FH has a smaller side of the family as well and it's unfair that he doesn't invite his whole family and I do haha

I definitely get it. My mom comes from a huge polish family (she has over 100 cousins). She sees them every year at the family reunion but I rarely go and don't know them. I told her I'd invite those that I felt like I had a relationship with. She was not happy and My aunt told me I was a bitch because of it. I felt bad at first but you have to stick to your guns I did and everything turned out perfect. If I had invited everyone she wanted to we wouldn't even have fit in my venue...In my opinion there is nothing the bride and groom can do wrong on there wedding day cause its there day and no one elses!!

My mother is one of 8 and my dad is one of 6. My dad's one brother has 13 kids alone. I have 41 first cousins..... Most of whom I've never met. I had to make the difficult decision of deciding which aunts, uncles, and cousins got invited. It made it a bit easier knowing that my parents families aren't exactly close but I still felt bad having to pick and choose. I went with the ones I actually know and talk with. Will some people be upset yes but at the end of the day we're doing the wedding we can afford with those that are closest to us since we're paying for the wedding ourselves. FH also has a large family. The best advice I've been given is that no matter what you can't please everyone so do what you want. If your parents are paying for the wedding or part of it you might need to sit down with them and discuss your wishes verses theirs and come to some sort of compromise.

I married a little over a year after my sister. She had a big, ballroom wedding. We fell in love with a venue that only held 40%, of their number of guests. Of course, we cut-out some of our parents' distant relatives, that they see once every 5-10 years, and may or may not exchange Xmas cards with.

Or course, my grandmother, who wasn't contributing one cent, sent me a couple of nasty e-mails demanding I invite distant/estranged relatives, whose addresses I don't even know. In her words "weddings should draw family together."

I hit the IDGAF stage, very quickly. "No, lady, not on my dime!" Our family reunions are held n someone's back yard and everyone brings a potluck dish. I'm not paying $175 a person, for people that you want to see, that I either don't know well, never met, or can't stand.

Guess who wasn't invited to my rehearsal dinner?