Do I have to announce my stepmother at my reception?
So, my dad is getting remarried this weekend and I am not super fond of his fiancee. My parents were divorced four years ago, but were separated for 12 years, and I am very close with my mother. I want to make her comfortable on my wedding day because I want her to feel special, too. When the DJ introduces my bridal party, do I have to have my dad introduced with my stepmom, or can I have my parents introduced as "parents of the bride" and ask that my stepmom take her seat at her table while the introductions are done? Is it also rude to not include her in the processional and sit in the row behind my mom and dad during the ceremony? I am not close with her and feel that she has not impacted my life, so why should I include her to appease her comfort level and ignore my own????

Married: 03/27/2010
Reviews: 5
Posted On: Oct 19, 2009 at 10:31 PM • Vendors are allowed • Add to My WatchlistFlag As Inappropriate1 like

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Married: 12/28/2009
Reviews: 9
Oct 19, 2009 at 10:53 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
No, I don't think it's rude to exclude the stepmother. Have her take a seat and wait for her husband. I would introduce your parents one at a time instead of together so that it's clear they aren't together.

Cater It Simple
Oct 19, 2009 at 10:58 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
Let me say that we're a stepfamily. My husband is the stepdad, but my kids, um, OUR kids, don't think of him as a stepdad.
They way we view it is by how involvedthe step-parent was in your life & in raising you? I don't mean any disrespect to anyone involved, but this woman is not really a 'mom' figure to you; she had no active part in raising you. She's more of your dad's wife & not really a "mom" person. So I would say she shouldn't be introduced as a "parent" simply because she never was a "parent" to you.
As far as sitting in the row behind your parents, you might touch base and see what your mom/parents feel on that one.When my daughter got married, there was no way I was sitting next to my ex and having my husband, who actually raised the bride, sit in the cheap seats. But our deal was a little different than yours 'coz hubby WAS a parent to her and WAS involved in her life.
Each of these situations is unique. I'm sure you'll find a way to make it work for you.

Married: 07/10/2010
Reviews: 3
Oct 19, 2009 at 11:14 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
my fh parents have been divorced for quite a while alsoso, we are in kinda the same situation. His mom and stepdad are sitting together in the second row @ the church. His fahter and his significant other are in the 3rd row. We are announcing his mother as "Mother of the Groom w/ her husband" & the same for his dad.

Married: 03/27/2010
Reviews: 5
Oct 20, 2009 at 7:23 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
Thanks all. Debi, that is my situation about my stepmother because she has not really been in my life (I am 31 years old and moved out at 18) or raised me, so we will just have to work it out to appease all. I am not keen on announcing my dad as "father of the groom and his wife" but I don't want to hurt his feelings. My FH parents came to visit and met my parents, and I asked him to exclude her and he said she would bow out "this time." It was not important to me that she meet my FH parents, so I just need to keep who is important to me in mind as I continue to plan. Thanks for all of the help guys!

Married: 10/24/2009
Reviews: 2
Oct 20, 2009 at 10:40 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
IMO, I don't think it's so much about her feelings as it is about your father's. This is his new wife - I definitely understand you not announcing her as your stepmother or acknowledging her as a 'parent', as she hasn't been that to you at all, and I understand that she doesn't mean all that much to you, but acknowledging her as his wife, someone who is important to him, would be gracious of you. Why not have her walk with him into the reception and announce them as 'father of the bride, 'his name', escorted by his wife, 'her first name'. As far as the ceremony seating, it's really up to you, but again consider your dad's feelings in addition to your own.

Married: 05/01/2010
Reviews: 8
Oct 20, 2009 at 10:47 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
I agree with Jessica. Even if you don't like your stepmother your father does. I don't think its a very good idea for you to completely leave her out. That just isn't fair, nor is it the right thing to do. You don't have to claim her as a parent but I think you should acknowledge that she is your father's wife.

FMS, the barefoot wife!
Married: 2+ years ago
Reviews: 10
Oct 20, 2009 at 10:56 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
I think it's important that you some how make it clear that they are together, wether it's in the programs or what not. I haven't decided if we are introducing the BP as we enter or after we're seated. If you do it after your seated you could announce the bridal party then parents and have the MC say something like "Father of the bride, Dad;s name, and wife, her name" and the same for your mom.

Married: 03/27/2010
Reviews: 3
Oct 20, 2009 at 11:30 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
Yippee another 3/27/10 bride... Congrats... I am in the same situation as you. I do not know if this will work for you but we have decided to not have our parents introduced with our BP. We are only having the BM/GM and FG/RB introduced because we do not want to make my family upset. Our parents will be listed in the programs and my father/his mother will be introduced by the MC when we do our father/daughter mother/son dance. This will help to avoid any step-parent issues.

Also, we are sitting the my parents with their husbands/wifes... We are not seperating them at the ceremony because my parents have been divorsed for quite some time and they do not like each other..
Oct 20, 2009 at 11:34 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
I try to be fair to everyone! If you're Dad is remarried, I would introduce him and his wife. I would always try to introduce in pairs or threesomes for bridesmaids and ushers/flower girls and ring bearers if they are not married and if there was an odd number.

I would do the intro this way: Mother of the Bride Jane Smith and/with (I never use the word escort or step). It could be anyone really but preferably someone from the Bridal party. It could be a ring bearer or flower girl. If there are only one flower girl and one ring bearer I would intro this way: The Mother of the Bride Jane Smith with our flower girl and ring bearer (then their names) and the mother would walk in the middle. Then it would be the Father of the Bride Mr John Smith and his wife Jane. The rest of the bridal party would follow.

Married: 03/27/2010
Reviews: 5
Oct 20, 2009 at 12:04 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
Kristin, thanks for the idea. I think I may take your advice and skip the parents in the entrance. I am glad someone else in the world is getting married in March! :)
Oct 20, 2009 at 12:29 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
At many wedding receptions, the bride and groom choose not to include parents in the Grand Entrance. It's strictly optional to do so. Nothing wrong with simply not introducing the parents if it will lead to awkward moments such as in the situation you describe (your father's remarriage to a stepmother you're not fond of). However if you do decide to include them, I agree with Arthur C's idea of how you might do it.

Married: 06/27/2009
Reviews: 1
Oct 20, 2009 at 12:33 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
if she raised you it would be rude, but it seems like she didnt. your good to just announce your mom and dad as the parents of the bride
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