Who is invited to the rehearsal dinner?

Traditionally it’s bridal party, immediate family, and all significant others. Out of town guests is a new thing that some people do but it’s not required.

Inviting significant others is a necessity. If you want to exclude your FH’s parents, that’s on you, but it’s definitely not conventional.

View Quoted Comment

I've only been to two rehearsals/rehearsal dinners and it was just the wedding party and the meals were also catered in at the venue/church. One had both parents of the bride/groom though. I just thought the kids and the significant others would be bored to tears during the rehearsal since they wouldn't drive separately because our church is 20-50 miles from our bridal party. I don't have an issue inviting them at all. My mom would also be excluded. I initially asked her who was supposed to be invited and if she was coming and she had told me she definitely didn't want to come (she was at the last rehearsal I was at and was bored to tears) and that only the bridal party was supposed to be invited. This is why I'm here just trying to get others opinions.

It's pretty traditional, regardless of whether the B&G are paying for the rehearsal dinner, or parent(s), or whomever else, the guest list minimally includes: parents and siblings of the B&G (if, like your mom, they "don't want to come," that's totally their choice, but they are usually invited), all members of the wedding party AND their significant others. (It is considered pretty rude to invite a bridesmaid or groomsman, but not each of their spouses/boyfriend or girlfriend.) In many cases members of the wedding party who DON'T have a "significant other" are still offered a "plus one" to bring a date. Depending on the relationships, sometimes grandparents or other close family members are invited, and possibly the officiant. I'm not sure what would make a rehearsal dinner so terribly "boring," it's a dinner party, and most people should find that enjoyable -- and it doesn't have to last a long time. Good luck!

I think that immediate family and bridal party are a must. Significant others are nice but not 100% necessary. Typically, the flower girls and ring bearers are not needed at the dinner since it's typically a nicer dinner but we didn't do that. We had a pool party and had hamburgers and hot dogs so my nieces (all younger than 5) were VERY happy and entertained.

That being said, the wedding I attended in November had just immediate family and the bridal party. No significant others were invited.

View Quoted Comment Plus ones for the wedding rehearsal? I’ve not heard of that before either. I wonder if it’s different in different areas. What my mom found so boring was the sitting through an hour or more of the rehearsal. My niece invited grandparents and parents to the rehearsal where we actually rehearsed the wedding and then they picked up take out for everyone. Ours will be pretty laid back and immediately following the actual wedding rehearsal at the church. There is a bbq place right behind the church where we’re having the food catered in from. That’s why I thought the significant others wouldn’t want to come or need an invite because the wedding rehearsal will be boring. We will probably just send the rehearsal invite with an open invitation (as in not doing the _ of 2 seats like on the wedding invites) so they can decide for themselves if they want to come. If you send out invites for plus ones and significant others do you ask for an rsvp so you know if significant others or kids are coming? I don’t want to order way too much food.

View Quoted Comment I wish we could do a cookout like that! I’m sure they would all really enjoy that. Our church is 45 minutes away though and part of our bridal party is closer to the venue than us and I would hate to ask them to drive to the venue for the rehearsal and then back (30+) minutes out of their way to our house for the cookout. Our wedding is also in October and we never know if it’s going to be really hot, cold and rainy, or actually nice fall weather. Lol. Did you have your actual wedding rehearsal on the same day at your venue? I’m wondering if I’ve gotten this timing wrong and we should be having the dinner on a different day?

View Quoted Comment

Yes! It's completely appropriate to ask for an RSVP -- no sense ordering more food than you need! The rehearsal dinner invitations can be as formal or casual as you want -- mailed, email, text message, whatever. Just include the info for the RSVP and the date you'd like to know by however you send the invitations. Good luck!

I've been to one wedding rehearsal in my life. As the plus one of my boyfriend [now fiance].


We will be invitingMOH - her husband - their 2 sons [our ring bearers]Bridesmaid - her husband - kidBridesmaid - her husband - kid Bridesmaid - an optional plus one
Best Man - his wife - kids Groomsman - his wife - kids Groomsman - his wifeGroomsman - his fiance
2 flower girls - their parents
Usher - his wife - kids Usher - her boyfriend
FHs bro - his girlfriend
My parentsHis parents1-3 of his grandparentsMaybe 4 out of town relatives

I would invite your parents (other than your mom) and for sure include significant others of the wedding party, especially if those SOs are coming to the wedding. If I was a bridesmaid and the bride didn't include my husband in the rehearsal dinner, I doubt I'd attend.

Every wedding rehearsal dinner i've attended has been: bridal party and significant others, parents of the bride and groom, any readers/officiants/musicians others involved in ceremony. Sometimes grandparents. You must invite signicifant others of every person invited. Plus ones are not necessary, nor are children.

It's your wedding so I think you have the freedom to invite whoever you'd like! Ours will be immediate family, wedding party and plus ones, and out of town family (not all out of town guests). It's about 50 people which is pretty big! I'd say immediately family should probably always be included, whether or not they're contributing financially

View Quoted Comment The traditional etiquette reply would be that if you are having a fancy sit down dinner party, that is usually a couples affair, so SO would be invited. If you are just going directly from a rehearsal to a pizza place, or similar, you can invite SO, but not necessary. But also, common sense rules. I have been to rehearsals for weddings where most people are local, in the 2 weeks before the wedding, when all participants come directly from work, to rehearsal, to dinner. And SO not working or living close might have to drive an hour or two, and frankly think the whole thing a PITA. So people are asked, do you want your SO there? And hosts invite only those whose WP member says they want SO there. And I have never heard any grumbling about people disappointed that many or most SO were not there. As long as they have SO at the wedding, lots of wedding parties I have been in, given the option ( and not already at an out of town venue) , like that few or no people other than those at the rehearsal, come to dinner. So do what feels comfortable for all.

Inviting out of town guests makes it a welcome dinner, not a rehearsal dinner. Rehearsal is usually just the couple and their immediately family as well as those involved in the ceremony and their SO's. Whether or not kids are included kinda depends on the type of dinner you have.

View Quoted Comment

We actual did our rehearsal the day of at our venue, and our dinner was the night before at our apartment complex. We would've had to pay extra for the rehearsal time and we didn't think it was too important to rehearse standing for the bridesmaids/groomsmen. My husband and I were really the ones who needed the rehearsal so we knew how the ceremony would go.

View Quoted Comment This is pretty common, for weddings I have been in. As long as the couple have talked to the officiant, and whoever is doing the music, full rehearsals are not necessary most places. Then you can have a dinner when it is convenient.