who gets to pick family vacations

What do you mean by who gets to pick? You and your spouse pick them together...

I agree you both should.

i not gonna lie though a lot of the times i kind of concede to my husband's choice because he's picker than i am aha and as long as i haven't been, i'm pretty open to it.

I'm not sure I understand the question. Are you referring to a lone vacation with you and your FH and children? Or one with one or both sets of parents?

A lot of people alternate years - 1 year you're with his family and the next with yours.

We need more context.

If it's something that DH and I are doing alone, we decide together.

If we're dealing with family, then that usually goes to whomever is paying. (Like, if my parents pay for us to visit.... well, we're going to AZ, even if I *hate* the desert/mountains.)

I mean I am the mega-planner in our marriage and hubby is a roll with the waves type of guy. His motto is "Whatever you want Baby" (gotta love him), but it also gets a little frustrating when you're getting ready to spend a nice amount of money and he does not want to give much input. This is what we do: we discuss our budget and time off that we have and pick a time frame like September - October, 2020; then we decided where we want to go (Europe was our 2020 vacation but that didn't happen) and then I start doing research about where we can stay and what we can do. Ultimately once I'm ready to book we do it together so that we both see everything we're getting into such as pricing, amenities, travel arrangements, hotel selection, etc. For our honeymoon we decided Cancun and I started researching as soon as the bulk of the wedding planning was done. Hubby didn't show interest though until he mentioned it to his co-workers and they began to tell their experiences and share tips and recommendations. I had never been to Cancun and he had never flown on a plane. One of the co-workers happened to recommend a resort on my list and likes so after looking at it further we booked together, when it came to travel arrangements I was going for economy comfort seats as my hubby is tall guy and has wide shoulders, I didn't want him to freak out in tiny seat during his first flight ever. Luckily after looking around a lot we found cheap first class tickets and went with those, overall we spent an extra $200 upgrading to 1st class round trip for both of us. Now we are planning a little something for the end of September and have everything booked and ready to go, thanks to me though. Lol I just made sure he equally wanted to stay at the resort and would enjoy himself there.

He helps but not a great deal, I just make sure we make the bookings together so he can't come back and say I didn't know about this or that. One of my co-workers was on her phone for every tiny thing with her fiance about a trip they took and it honestly drove me crazy, like she couldn't approve a departure time or seat selection. I know my hubby pretty well and I'm lucky that he's way too easy going so I know that I am taking both of us into consideration when I plan our vacay, but he also trusts that I will make sure our vacation is amazing for us both.