Where are you going to live after your wedding?

My husband and I lived in an apartment together before marriage, and we're not bothering trying to buy in this market, so here we still are. I think it's important to remember that "life goals" change from person to person, generation to generation, and aren't linear. One couple's marriage->house->children life path may not match another's children->marriage->house path, or any combination or lack of steps. For my husband and I, it will most likely end up being marriage->children->house and that's okay.


I'm sorry your parents are being super critical, but this just isn't the world or society they grew up and got married in. You'll reach your goals on your own time and that's okay.
And if they're really pushing it, you can ask them if they'll offer the down payment for the house they so badly want you to have. And, in current markets, the extra 50k in cash over asking price for your offer to even be looked at. If they say no, then golly, I guess they'll have to stop pestering you about it.

I live in Sydney, Australia, which according to some articles is the second most unaffordable city in the world, and every major Australian city is in the top 20. So, housing is definitely not easily affordable here. We live in a 2 bed, 2 bath 2 car space apartment in an inner city area which we are very lucky to 'own' (via a mortgage) - but we are in our mid to late thirties. We will probably live here until/if we have multiple children, at which point we'd move closer to my parents and my in-laws, where we could afford a larger property and be able to more easily see them as well.

Perhaps how expensive Sydney is to buy in is colouring my view, but what you're doing sounds financially responsible, and appropriate to me - I honestly don't see the issue?

And your parents really don't have any right to have an opinion unless they are contributing financially themselves, IMO!

We currently live together in a house that I own. FH and his son moved in with me and my kids about a year and a half ago. I'm thankful that I bought this house when I did, we can't afford anything within an hour drive from here now. It is SO expensive. Thankfully this house is big enough for the 5 of us!

View Quoted Comment That must be nice to afford a house

View Quoted Comment Omg you are so awesome ♥️ Thank you so much ♥️ Yeah, we just can’t afford anything outside our apartment right now. And my parents are super judgmental. Saying, “why can’t you just live here or this town. Etc.” meh.

View Quoted Comment Agree to everything you said!!! Thanks ♥️♥️♥️

We currently live together in a house we bought from my fiances aunt

View Quoted Comment I'm thankful that I bought when I did! I don't know how anyone can afford to buy now. It's insane.

We are established so we are living in the home we bought. But it is perfectly ok to start off in a apartment and grow into a home you are young and so much room to grow together in this. Good luck!

We are living in an apartment. The houses in AZ are selling for way over what they appraise for so getting our va loan to cover it isn’t an option.

Girl! I am staying in my apartment with my husband right now. Where we are in NJ the apartment prices are becoming extremely high in my area except where we are at now and we are not ready for a house especially after planning a wedding. So we’re not making any serious decisions until 1. After our wedding on little things we have discussed. And 2. After another year we will bring up moving on what we want to do so that way we have money to save. It’s not like it used to be back then but everything will fall into place just pray about things and don’t worry about anyone else’s thoughts at the end of the day. You and your fiancé pay your own bills so why worry what anyone else thinks including family. Just keep your head up and do what you have to do and enjoy life.

My husband and I got married last year. We could buy a house, but we’ve decided to keep renting a townhouse for now.

Our situation is a bit different as my father passed away 7 years ago. At that time k had the opportunity to take over the mortgage on my childhood home, so I moved in at that point. When we got engaged we sold my fiancé’s townhouse and he moved in with me. We are very fortunate to have been in this position because the housing and rental markets are crazy. You’re doing the right thing, don’t let the pressure get to you.

We lived in apartments for the first three+ years and got an *amazing* deal on our house last year (closed four months before our fourth anniversary), so now we (and the bank) own a house. I agree with PPs, though - you need to be on your own life path. When your parents make comments, just say something to the effect of "that's not what we want right now" and change the subject. If you don't engage with them about it, eventually they'll get the hint.

We live in the house that FH bought a couple years ago, gutted and rebuilt. I think it worked out for us because of the market being where it was then! Things now are just so incredibly pricey.... Honestly though I dont see anything wrong with renting. I could care less if someone chooses to rent their entire life! You do you. Your life is your own and it doesnt matter what anyone else thinks You dont have home equity BUT you do have the ability to pretty quickly and easily move to whatever fits your needs and style every time you lease comes around!

I moved into my husband's family home. he lived with his parents so i moved in there. my mom said we could move into her house but her house is tiny so his parent's house made more sense.

we lived there for half a year and bought our own home.

View Quoted Comment Must be nice to marry someone who can afford a house. You may see nothing wrong with renting. But would you rent? Would you live in an apartment and have kids? Would that be ideal to you?

View Quoted Comment That definitely is encouraging. It’s not what I envisioned for my future, but it’s what’s realistic. The “that’s not what we want right now” comment, I want to live in a house. Of course I want to live in a house. I can’t afford a house. So, I will have to just say, “it’s not what we can afford right now” or “it’s not realistic at the moment.”

View Quoted Comment I would love to live in my childhood home.

We are currently living together in an apartment, and plan to keep doing so after the wedding. We're currently saving for our wedding, so after that, we'll start saving towards a home. But honestly, I am almost glad I'm not trying to buy a house in this market.

There is a HUGE generational difference in the order of doing things. There is nothing wrong with living in an apartment, especially if it's allowing you to reach your financial goals. Guess what - if our rent (or a mortgage) were more expensive, we wouldn't be able to afford our wedding. Or to keep on track with our retirement goals. etc etc etc. Cheaper living expenses now means more comfortable decisions later. The more you can save toward your down payment on your house, the better financial situation you'll be in. You're making the decision for yourself and your future. Don't let others shame you for being responsible. I'm proud of you.