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Just Said Yes April 2022

What to say to a newly married couple?

Josie, on April 22, 2020 at 9:22 AM

Posted in Married Life 24

I keep hearing that it's bad etiquette to say "congratulations" to a bride when she's engaged or just married. The idea was that it implies marriage is an accomplishment or something that was unlikely to happen for her. Are we over this now? Is this rule basically forgotten, because I don't want to...

I keep hearing that it's bad etiquette to say "congratulations" to a bride when she's engaged or just married. The idea was that it implies marriage is an accomplishment or something that was unlikely to happen for her.

Are we over this now? Is this rule basically forgotten, because I don't want to accidentally offend someone. Do you get offended when someone tells you "congratulations"? What do you say to people when they get engaged and married? What should I say instead of congratulations?

24 Comments

  • Cassandra7
    Super August 2006
    Cassandra7 ·
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    It's not outdated to me.

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  • Samantha
    Rockstar October 2020
    Samantha ·
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    Then you are welcome to continue saying it. But the notion that men and women should be treated differently is very outdated to many.
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  • Cassandra7
    Super August 2006
    Cassandra7 ·
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    I agree with your point, and I also think that the world has not yet entirely arrived there. Generally marriage is seen as a success for a woman and maybe not really a success for a man--sometimes an actual defeat (this is a really old-fashioned notion, since all the stats say that married men live longer and are happier than single men). Anyway, for that reason, it is thought (by some very archaic people like me) that's it's tactless to congratulate a woman on her triumph--er--marriage. And congratulations as a gentle reminder to the man that he has won, not lost, in marrying. Anyway, that's the thinking behind the custom.

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  • Samantha
    Rockstar October 2020
    Samantha ·
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    Same. I sometimes say best wishes, but I use the terms interchangeably.

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