Morgan
Devoted June 2018

Wedding Registry... how to avoid it??

Morgan, on January 12, 2018 at 12:22 PM Posted in Registry 0 11
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We are doing a destination wedding so all we want is the gift of our guests presence! We also already have a home filled with junk so we don't need anything. But, I feel like a lot of traditional older guests will want to get us something. I thought about making a registry just for people who are going to buy something either way (the last thing I need is to end up with 3 toasters), but I don't want it to seem like we're asking for gifts by making it? If it were up to me we would receive 0 gifts just some heartfelt cards from those who want to give something. Best way to not get gifts??


*update: I don't want cash either, I just want them to attend and have fun. I'm concerned that people will get stressed out with trying to afford the destination wedding and getting a gift when I do not want or care about a gift

11 Comments

Latest activity by RZ_ToBe, on January 12, 2018 at 2:02 PM
  • Maya
    Dedicated October 2018
    Maya ·
    • Flag
    Easiest way is to only put a few items on the registry. That way your guests will aim at just giving cash. Its a way to do it without having to ask your guests to just give money.
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  • Rachel Langerhans
    Expert October 2015
    Rachel Langerhans ·
    • Flag

    Just make a VERY small registry and most people will give cash. Are there ANY items you might want or that could use replacing? If so, put those on the registry so some of the more "traditional" people will have an idea of things to get that you'd actually like/use. Again, just keep the registry small. You can also not make any registry, but then risk some people who really want to get gifts getting you things you really don't want or won't use.

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  • FutureMrsKC
    Master January 2019
    FutureMrsKC ·
    • Flag

    I'd still create a small registry regardless. If they must buy you something, at least you picked it out.

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  • BlueHenBride
    Master March 2017
    BlueHenBride ·
    • Flag
    You can either just not register and most guests who want to give something will take the hint that cash or a check in a card is a good option or, if you suspect you have people on your guest list who prefer giving boxed gifts, you can make a really small registry with a couple things you might actually use if someone wanted to get you something. Most guests will still take a small registry as a hint to give money, but then the guests who do always give boxed gifts will have a couple ideas. Also, you can set up your registry with a shipping address so guests ordering gifts can just select the option to ship it to your home, not bring it to the DW. It hides your actual address. Guests just see get asked if they would like to ship the gift to the address provided by the couple.
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  • Orchids
    Master March 2018
    Orchids ·
    • Flag

    Make a verrrry small registry and only mention it to people who ask?

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  • Morgan
    Devoted June 2018
    Morgan ·
    • Flag

    Eh I would rather have a gift than cash, but I don't really want either. Is there a way around receiving gifts as a whole? Maybe asking people to make a charitable donation or something?

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  • BlueHenBride
    Master March 2017
    BlueHenBride ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment
    I wouldn't ask people to make a charitable donation in leiu of gifts. That presumes that you expected guests to give you something.

    I'd make a very small registry and not advertise it (maybe make sure that your parents and FS' parents know where this registry is, though). If anyone asks you or your parents if the two of you registered anywhere or what good gift ideas would be, you or your parents can just say, "We know everyone is spending a lot to travel to the wedding and a gift really isn't necessary. However, we did make a really small registry at [name of store] so if you really still wanted to get us something, there are a few things there that we would use."
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  • WED18
    July 1993
    WED18 ·
    • Flag

    Just don't register. If people give cash/checks then donate the funds yourself. I've never been to a destination wedding but if I were invited I would never consider bringing a wrapped gift, then again I always give cash at weddings anyway. I only give gifts for a shower. Also, I am very particular on which charities I support, so asking me to donate to your choice would be a little off putting to me, especially if I find the charity doesn't align with my values. You can always make a donation yourself with the gifts you receive though.

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  • Brianna
    VIP May 2018
    Brianna ·
    • Flag

    I don't know if there necessarily is a way to avoid people giving you gifts you don't want.

    FH's grandma asked what we want as a wedding gift, and I told her we registered at Bed Bath and Beyond. She said she doesn't go to those types of big stores Smiley amazing so we will probably get some random blanket or pillow from her that we don't necessarily want.

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  • An
    Super September 2019
    An ·
    • Flag
    There is really no way to decline gifts ahead of time. I would go with PP and make a very small registry (don't advertise it) and if people give cash or check you can donate those funds yourself if you choose. I think most people spend less on gifts for a destination wedding so I would just keep the list mostly items in the $50 range.


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  • RZ_ToBe
    Master July 2018
    RZ_ToBe ·
    • Flag
    We are on the same boat! We originally didn't want a registry because we felt guests were ready spending a lot of money just to join us on our special day. But after being asked for the registry for the umpteenth time, we decided just to throw one together. We added some tools, upgraded items, fun little items, and just some stuff we wanted. There's already been a surprising amount of people buying stuff for us, even if they cannot attend the wedding.

    Just add some stuff you want or wish to upgrade. Doesn't have to be a lot!
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