Wedding and Birthday Conflict

I don’t see a problem with having a birthday party close to your wedding. Your birthday and your wedding have nothing to do with one another. They should both be celebrated. Since you and your friends birthdays are close together, and you were both planning events on the same day, would it be possible to combine your events?

View Quoted Comment

They are planning on tailgating a football game and heavy drinking which isn't my idea of a fun time ... so it'd be not so fun on my end unfortunately ... and also you know they didn't offer to do that it was more of a notice that it was happening and they'd be inviting all the same people...

I don't think you should cancel celebrating your birthday, as PP said it's a separate event from your wedding. Maybe you could just move it to another day?

If it were me- I would step aside and let your friend have his party. Like you said, your group of friends don't get to see him often.

I don't see a problem with having a birthday close to your wedding date either. i would just plan your birthday as is and whomever can come and wants to, will.

I don't think there is anything wrong with wanting to have a birthday celebration. It is frustrating that another friend planned something but honestly you can still celebrate your birthday with a smaller group. Maybe you don't need to go all out ordering a bunch of stuff, keep it low-key and enjoy your birthday!

View Quoted Comment

We're pretty slammed with work and wedding appointments so that's why i tried to set aside an evening far in advance so I wouldn't book anything on it unfortunately

View Quoted Comment Gotcha. I would either try to find a different day to have your event. If you cannot find one, I would just do your event as planned and whoever can come will come. It will be fun regardless! Happy early birthday!

View Quoted Comment

Yeah i mean now i'm wondering who will change their mind since most people had already said they were coming and will just be finding out about this tonight--really don't want to waste money (weddings are expensive LOL) and don't want to not have enough to host either!

View Quoted Comment

Yeah since we are slammed with work and wedding stuff this was why I had saved this saturday with nothing booked so we really don't have another day/time. Thanks for the advice--I'm trying to decide :/

I don't think people resent it, but I wouldn't be mad if people choose the other party over yours because I can see the thinking of "well her wedding is in 2 weeks so I'll go to the other party since I'll see her so soon anyway".

I don't think it's over the top to have a birthday celebration for yourself. In this case, since it's another friends birthday that most people don't see often I would probably just combine birthdays with them. If that doesn't work maybe just hang with your FS since you'll be seeing all your friends in a few weeks at the wedding? It could be nice to have a quite birthday celebration with your partner before the craziness of the wedding!

I don't see a problem with having a celebration for you that doesn't involve your wedding. I do get where people might want to focus on another friend now and you later. I also get where you would feel hurt that people weren't coming. But maybe you can go to your friend's thing? It wouldn't be all about you but it could be fun.

If I were a friend of both of you, and went to or gave your shower, or was invited to a RD, and also to your wedding, I would say " enough" and go to the other friend's party.

View Quoted Comment

Just to be clear with the exception of my best friend, none of these people were invited to the couples shower, bachelorette party, or RD. It is literally the wedding day. But thanks for the opinion

I don't think you are being selfish.....You are hosting a small intimate birthday get together. Also for the record, my friend group loves game nights! If we can have a game night and cross off birthday celebrations at the same time its a win-win! I do think the friend who made such sudden plans is being inconsiderate...was he invited to the game night?

Can you still have game night? Are there friends in the group that don't overlap? If so I'd still host your game night and just have it more intimate!