We don't want a registry

Most people assume if you don't have a registry then you prefer cash. However, if you have plan on having a bridal shower then you should have a registry, as the whole purpose is to "shower" with gifts.

View Quoted Comment So my mom wants to have a bridal shower but with it being so close to rhe wedding already I really was just thinking the shower could be a day for us all to just play games and have a fun time. I'm very low key and actually am making all of the centerpieces and the wedding cake myself. Thank you for the advice!

If you don’t have a registry, you will receive many gifts that you don’t want and can’t return. Never assume that you will automatically get cash without a registry because a number of families and social circles do not give cash gifts and you will end up with many physical items you don’t want. It’s generally considered impolite to request cash if it is not a common practice in your social circle. Personalized gifts with or without last names/monograms are popular defaults that wind up in the Goodwill bin. At minimum, register for items that you have your eye on but would not buy yourselves so that your guests don’t waste their money. Also in many social circles, it is considered impolite to have a shower without a physical registry. If you choose not to register, don’t have a shower.

I think most people already gift cash/checks these days, and will likely default to that if you don’t have a registry. It’s older people that tend to still sometimes give gifts, and it’s those same people who will probably ask your parents where you are registered. I would prep both of your parents with an answer for that question when they receive it.

It definitely depends where you live. We had a small registry we only circulated to people who asked. Where we live it's very unusual to give money and only one couple did aside from our parents - and they came from a region where cash is standard.

I'm afraid I don't think there's a nice way to ask for money, but you can have a card box on the day. People will give in the way they feel comfortable, many don't feel comfortable putting a number on their gift. On the rare occasions I've been to a wedding where cash has been asked for I must admit I specifically haven't - it just feels very uncomfortable.

We received a mixture of things from our registry, a couple of vouchers from people who couldn't attend, and thoughtful items. I think the "ending up with a lot of rubbish" idea is a bit of a cliche, provided you're inviting sensible guests. You might be humbled by the thoughtfulness of the gifts. We really value a painting that was made especially for us for instance.

If you live in an area where it's traditional to give money then you probably have nothing to worry about anyway as it's what people will do. If your social circle is more mixed, then asking for money can only offend / go down badly / make people feel uncomfortable. I think the only way is to go with the flow.

I don't think you can straight up ask for cash in a polite way but you can do like a honeymoon fund or I have seen people do a pet fund or house fund and at the wedding have a card box out . If you decide to have a shower you should probably have a small registry too or you ll end with some really "interesting" personalized gifts. Good luck!

You could register for things like concert tickets, cooking classes, meal delivery services, wine of the month, etc. Then it's not cluttering up your place with things, and it could even give you a handful of fun date nights. You can also add a honeymoon fund, house fund, etc. to your registry. If you don't have any physical gifts on the registry though, I'd avoid a shower since that could rub people the wrong way.

I am in the same situation where my fiance and I have everything we could possibly need AND THEN SOME. So I am not having a bridal shower as I feel it is unnecessary and I would be uncomfortable accepting gifts from people when I truly do not need anything. So for our "registry" I started a cash fund on our wedding site saying "Your presence at our wedding is gift enough. If you are feeling particularly generous and wish to give a gift, we are saving money to put towards a down payment on our future home together. We look forward to hosting all of our friends and family in a home we can call our own some day!" My mom also felt like only asking for money is tacky but I feel like it's even more tacky to just register for material gifts just for the sake of asking for... STUFF.

View Quoted Comment Oh my God thank you! The complete same boat! Thank you so much! I'll definitely do the house fund idea because that's exactly what it is!

We stuck these cards in our invites and then we have a tab on our website called “Gifts” and this is what it says. Know your circle. Cash is very common in our circle for gifts. I’m not having a shower either (I hate that kind of attention) so I don’t have to worry about gifts for that

View Quoted Comment This is so much help! Thank yoh so much. I will definitely try to do something like this!

We are doing a Honeymoon fund through Honeyfund. We don't need much either and I know people who have used this in the past to great success. You can literally set it up as a "We're buying a house!" fund vs going on a trip fund.

I also put something on our website that basically said, thanks for thinking of us, we don't need much, here's the handful of things we've registered for and also a Honeyfund cause we're hoping to have a great honeymoon!