Ugly Truth - Divorce

If my husband drains our accounts without my knowledge or consent, divorce would be on the table.

My bestfriend divorced without any cheating or abuse. They were married almost 2 years and she was miserable the entire time. I have been extremely close to her for over 10 years and I really think she did not know the man she married. She wanted a marriage, but not with him. All of her friends were getting married and I think she figured, hey if I want marriage, I better just do it with this guy. They had been dating over 3 years and it felt like the natural progression for their relationship. Only problem is, she hurt a lot of people in the process. His family fell in love with her and they were completely blindsided when she ditched out. Neither of them did anything "wrong" except for walk down the isle. It was extremely irresponsible of them to get married when we look back at it, but hind site is 20/20. They would have been together for 100 years if she didn't leave. It was best to just rip the bandaid and get it over with.

People make mistakes and only God can judge them. Hopefully if you choose divorce, you learn a valuable lesson and can move forward being a better person for it!

Addiction issues that the person refuses to get help with, if they kept big secrets like debts or children from previous relationships.

Not really knowing the person you married.

For instance, someone I know met and married their SO within 2 months. They've now been married for 10 years, but when their 1st was born I had a conversation with them and was told if there wasnt a child involved, they probably would have left their SO. 9 years and 3 more kids I know they still aren't really happy.

Lying or manipulation about money, lifestyle or desired goals (financial, children, life, retirement, etc.). An unwillingness to address issues if they arise. Marriage takes a lot of work and it can’t only always be one person trying to make an effort.

Meh, I don’t think it really needs to be one of those big obvious dramatic events. Obviously I didn’t enter in to marriage lightly and I mean my commitment, but if I stopped being happy , and we couldn’t fix it, I’d leave. I wouldn’t leave lightly, I’d put in the effort with counseling and everything, and I absolutely believe in therapy but I also don’t think it can make something that doesn’t work work — there’s some disconnects no amount of trying will really solve. If we drifted apart and started wanting different things in life. So, if there’s no amount of communicating and compromising that is going to actually make us both happy.

Not making an effort to resolve issues or contribute to the marriage. There's a mutual responsibility to keep the flame alive.

View Quoted Comment I agree with this!!!

Addiction issues, prison, not being able to hold down a job.
Constantly taking their family's side or point of view over mine.

I can’t really see myself leaving my husband unless there’s a huge shift like growing apart, unhealthy communication that he does not want to change, a change in fundamental beliefs (becomes a misogynist, anti-science, religious, lazy, money-driven, hateful, homophobic/transphobic person), he decides he wants children, or if he goes to prison for victimizing another person or animal.

Before I start I know my feelings are in the minority and I might touch on some rougher issues.

I think divorce ahould be ok in any situation. We’re past the era of being property or disadvantaged for being single. No one needs to be wed to have a good life anymore, especially women. People are getting married much older now, being more selective in a mate and focusing on their careers or personal fulfillment first before settling down. We don’t have to stick it out in an unhappy marriage out of necessity anymore.
Of course people would divorce over the ugly stuff like abuse or infidelity, but what about just not loving each other anymore? At what point do your counseling sessions stop working? Do you keep hammering away at it in hopes you’ll revive a spark? I don’t believe in just giving up once the honeymoon stage is over, that isn’t what I mean. I mean what do you do when the love is just lost completely? I think it’s ok to divorce in this situation so both partners can find happiness again.

I love my FH more than anything, but we would divorce if it meant making each other happy again with someone else.

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I 100% agree with you!

View Quoted Comment I agree with this. Sometimes I look at my parents and think man they would have been happier divorcing than sticking around just to save face. In my culture, divorce is especially a stigma because it's a sign of failure - which is such a bad way to look at it because at least you could find your happiness.

Illness. Chronic or life threatening illness shows you who people really are and what they can handle. The in sickness and in health part of the vows is there for a reason.