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Beginner November 2020

To Change or Hyphenate?

Gemma, on July 8, 2020 at 9:02 AM Posted in Married Life 0 24
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Hey everyone!


Did you change your last name? Did you keep your 'maiden' name instead? I'm trying to decide if I want to change my last name or hyphenate it. What did you do?

24 Comments

  • L
    Super July 2022
    Lisa ·
    • Flag
    I'm planning to keep my last name. I considered hyphenating it, but ended up deciding to just leave it.
    • Reply
  • Caytlyn
    Legend November 2019
    Caytlyn ·
    • Flag
    I took my wife’s last name. It’s important to us that our family shares a name.
    • Reply
  • Dj Tanner
    June 2021
    Dj Tanner ·
    • Flag
    I plan on just changing my name to his only. Things to keep in mind, sometimes with hyphenated names you may run into issues throughout life as far as signing documents and insurance info specifically with prescription insurance, or people having trouble pulling you up in their system type deal.
    • Reply
  • Mrs. S
    Super November 2019
    Mrs. S ·
    • Flag
    I dropped my middle name, my maiden name is my new middle name, and I took my husband’s last name. I didn’t want to hyphenate because it would be bulky and confusing.
    • Reply
  • V
    Master July 2019
    Veronica ·
    • Flag
    I took my husband's last name. I already have two middle names so it would have been way too long of a name of I would have hyphenated it. We also want children and my husband wants then tomhsve his last name so I want the same last name as my future children.
    • Reply
  • Meghan
    Rockstar October 2019
    Meghan ·
    • Flag

    Both my wife and I hyphenated so we would have the same last name. I am an only child, so it was important for me to keep my maiden name. However, my wife also wanted to keep her maiden name, so hyphenating was an easy compromise.

    • Reply
  • Taran
    Devoted September 2020
    Taran ·
    • Flag

    I'm going to hyphenate my middle name and maiden name and just take FH last name as mine. He has a long last name so hyphenating last names would be a lot, but I didn't want to completely get rid of my last name

    • Reply
  • Super August 2020
    ·
    • Flag
    I was planning to make my last name second middle name and add make his last name mine:
    First: Alexandra
    Mid: Middle MyLastLast: HisLast
    but then I got to city hall and found out that in MA, that's not an option. I also would like to have the same last name as my hypothetical kids, but I didn't want to lose any part of my current name, because it feels like giving up a part of it would be giving up a part of myself* and it's very important to me that we can acknowledge that we are still two distinct people. We're getting married to each other, not merging into one person. I ended up choosing to add his name as a second last name. First: AlexandraMid: MiddleLast: MyLast HisLast
    Spelled with a space, no hyphen.
    *not everyone is this attached to their name, and I don't mean to offend anyone who makes a different choice. If you don't feel this way, there's nothing wrong with just changing your name.
    • Reply
  • Super August 2020
    ·
    • Flag

    *That ended up being formatted really awkwardly and I can't edit it on my phone.

    PLANFirst: Alexandra.
    Mid: Middle MyLast. Last: HisLast.

    WHAT ACTUALLY HAPPENEDFirst: Alexandra. Mid: Middle. Last: MyLast HisLast. Spelled with a space, no hyphen.
    • Reply
  • Hannah
    Rockstar July 2019
    Hannah Online ·
    • Flag
    I changed my last name to his and dropped my maiden name. I felt like hyphenating would be too clunky. I thought about the decision a lot, but even still, it was a little upsetting after I had done it. For a bit, I did feel like part of my identity was gone, but I don't really feel that way anymore. My name doesn't define me, rather, I define my name. Also, I realized that my last name wasn't necessarily mine either, but my dad's that was given to me at birth. My new last name is 1 I chose because I chose my husband and I chose to share a last name with him and our future children.
    • Reply
  • Rhiamae
    Devoted February 2021
    Rhiamae ·
    • Flag

    Considering on keeping my last name just so I don't have to go through the hellish ordeal of changing my name. What I might do is ditch the middle name and make my maiden name the new middle name, since it's important that I keep it in some way.

    • Reply
  • H
    Super June 2019
    Hanna ·
    • Flag

    I kept my maiden name because it's an important part of my identity that I didn't want to lose. When we have kids, they will have my husband's last name but I always knew I wanted to keep mine.

    • Reply
  • A
    Expert December 2020
    Anais ·
    • Flag
    I’m keeping my name and adding his, no hyphenating.
    • Reply
  • Molly
    Rockstar September 2020
    Molly ·
    • Flag

    I'm changing my last name to his. It is important to me to have my future family all have the same last name.

    • Reply
  • A
    Super February 2020
    Andrea ·
    • Flag
    I kept my maiden name. It saves me time and hassle from trying to change it, and plus I’m in my 30s and have an established career with my name. Our kids would take his last name and I don’t think it will be an issue since my mom had a different last name from us growing up. My mom kept her maiden name when she married, and through the decades it’s sort of hyphenated.
    • Reply
  • Eri
    Expert October 2020
    Eri ·
    • Flag

    Hyphenating wasn't an option that I strongly considered because, as silly as it may be, I don't like how it looks/reads or sounds. Just seems like a pain.

    I really love my last name and initially wanted to keep it -- especially since my FH preferred that I change it and I'm stubborn, lol.

    But I warmed up to the idea of changing my name, and I like the idea of our family sharing a last name. It helped that my FH equally warmed up to the idea of me keeping my name if I wanted.

    So long story short, I've decided to take his last name. Smiley smile

    • Reply
  • Kali
    Beginner September 2020
    Kali ·
    • Flag

    I plan to take his last name. There are multiple reasons that it's important for us to share a last name and I do not like hyphenations. It also helps that my last name is hard to pronounce and spell but his is pretty simple. Ultimately, keeping my last name just isn't a big deal to me.

    • Reply
  • Michelle
    Dedicated November 2021
    Michelle ·
    • Flag

    I am keeping my last name because I am too established in my career at this point though if people want to call me by his last name socially I am fine with that. If we have kids they will have my last name and DH has considered changing his last name to mine.

    • Reply
  • Rebecca
    Rockstar August 2019
    Rebecca ·
    • Flag

    I kept mine.

    We're both in the arts and would rather keep our careers separate, to a degree. Also, I have never wanted to change my name - I'm an only child, and I only have female cousins on my dad's side. Add in MIL keeping *her* last name... (she asked me if I was changing mine, and when I said no, she just looked at me, smiled, and said, "good girl").

    It's all about how you feel. You are the one who has to sign it!

    • Reply
  • Laura
    Super September 2020
    Laura ·
    • Flag
    I'm going with 2 last names. So, first middle mylast hislast. No hyphen. Just like RBG. Ruth Bader Ginsberg. She didn't hyphenate either. This means that I can use any combination of names - that mattered professionally. Legally, I must sign all 4 names for insurance, taxes, titles, etc. I love it! I'll still be Mrs. X, but me too!!
    • Reply

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