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Beginner May 2020

Symbolic Wedding Brides- Legal or Ceremony Anniversary Date?

Sarah, on January 18, 2020 at 2:30 PM Posted in Married Life 0 11

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Just curious, if you were married legally prior to a symbolic ceremony/wedding, which date do you celebrate as your anniversary?

I married my now-husband in a civil ceremony due to us moving abroad. Due to that stressful time, we only told a handful of people before we left. Not to mention, I didn’t have a ring at the time & we’re still searching for it due to our location. I have not announced an engagement & depending when we find the ring, I may not as we have 4 months to the wedding.
So we’ll have been married nearly a year by the time of our symbolic wedding. We have it coming up with an officiant & it will be either just us two or my immediate family.
Anyone in a similar position having to deal with two different dates? Not sure how to approach if I should divulge we’ve been married or just go about it as if we haven’t. Nothing to hide, but I did always want a “wedding” & our timeline plans have been unconventional unexpectedly.
Thanks!

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11 Comments

Latest activity by Sarah, on January 19, 2020 at 5:10 PM

Master November 2019
Mrs. S · on January 18, 2020 at 2:44 PM
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My friend who did something similar uses her big wedding day with guests as her date. She calls her courthouse date her paperwork date.
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Legend November 2019
Caytlyn · on January 18, 2020 at 2:58 PM
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I would celebrate your anniversary on your actual wedding date. I think it’s odd to celebrate the anniversary of a date you threw a party. I would also strongly advise against hiding the fact that you’re married. People will undoubtedly find out and it will lead to drama and hurt feelings.
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Beginner May 2020
Sarah · on January 18, 2020 at 3:04 PM
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I think I’m a bit unsure & feel like I can choose either the wedding date or paperwork date due to lack of guests. I do appreciate your insight!
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Beginner May 2020
Sarah · on January 18, 2020 at 3:07 PM
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Yes, I’m a bit conflicted only due to the fact I feel I could essentially choose either date due to lack of guests. Seems people with guests choose the party date... As far as hiding it, it’s been since summer that I moved to another continent so what’s done is done. I did consider some may be hurt, but also feel there was enough scrutiny over the fact I moved to another continent so I didn’t feel the need to divulge during a stressful time
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Devoted October 2020
A · on January 18, 2020 at 4:39 PM
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We got married exactly a year before our “wedding”, but for anniversary purposes we use our first wedding (the real one)
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Savvy February 2020
Katrina · on January 18, 2020 at 4:54 PM
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We want to get married for our 10 year anniversary. We've been planning to use that date for years. Turns out 2/13/20 is on a week day, and not going to work for us. Instead, we are having the ceremony on 2/8 in Gatlinburg, TN but having our Alabama marriage certificate notarized on 2/13, so we will have that as our "official" date. Alabama doesn't do marriage licenses anymore because of their phobia of marriage between anyone other than one man and one woman. 🙄 So all we have to do is fill out a form and have it notarized. Also my best friend is the whole reason he and I met, and she's also going to be our notary. 🥰

All that to say... you pick whichever date you want to be your date. I doubt anyone but you (the couple) will even remember the exact date after a while anyway.
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December 2020
Shelly · on January 18, 2020 at 8:01 PM
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You can celebrate your anniversary on whichever date you'd prefer. However, officially it is the date you were legally married, but, no one needs to know. It only matters if there are future legal matters that involve your marriage.
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Expert September 2020
Emily · on January 18, 2020 at 8:31 PM
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Do what you want. If people are feeling "lied to" , tell those weirdos you won't be celebrating their birthdays with them next year because their party is Saturday but their birthday is Monday and you feel "lied to.". 😂

You only need to use the paperwork date on... Paperwork. LOL
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Beginner May 2020
Sarah · on January 19, 2020 at 5:07 PM
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LOL true- can’t argue that 😂😂😂
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Beginner May 2020
Sarah · on January 19, 2020 at 5:09 PM
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Aw! Congrats to you- sweet story & reference Good point on the date aspect being remembered and likely forgotten anyways. I feel couples usually choose the wedding party date since they get their marriage license weeks before, so not sure what to do in my case thank you for sharing!
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