Stock the bar party

It's very much against etiquette to ask guests to contribute to the wedding that you're hosting. The point of the reception is to thank guests for their attendance and support at the wedding, so having them pay for part of it isn't appropriate.

A way to cut liquor costs is to host beer and wine at the reception instead of a full bar. Another way is to cut the guest list, less drinkers/less expense.

Is the venue suggesting that you do the "stock the bar" party so that the alcohol could be used for the reception? If so, I would skip that for all the reasons that Jacks mentioned. Otherwise, if the intent of the "stock the bar" party is for guests to give bar themed gifts and/or their favorite alcohol to the couple for their own use, then I think it could totally be done. Here's an article I found with more information on this type of party:

https://www.theknot.com/content/stock-the-bar-bridal-shower-basics

Another note here is that you should not be throwing parties for yourself that involve other people needing to bring gifts, like a shower or stock the bar party.

Whoever told you that is ignorant. They are essentially suggesting a partial pot luck wedding. It is rude to ask wedding guests to bring or buy you anything, much less to help pay for the drinks at your reception. Host what you can afford, even if that's just a single glass of wine or two served to the table, a bowl of punch etc or don't plan the kind of wedding you can't afford. Alternatively, you can limit alcohol to cocktail hour, serve only wine or a signature drink, or host at a time of the day when alcohol won't be missed.

Venues and vendors don’t care about etiquette because it doesn’t serve them. Do not ask guests to pay for things that you cannot afford and don’t host parties that benefit yourself in a transactional way.

Is this to stock the bar at the actual wedding or to stock your house. Themed showers are common a stock the bar party is a fun idea for a couples shower. However if you mean for the guests bring alcohol to serve at the wedding I would avoid that. Good luck!

If you meant a shower, that’s something hosted by other people.

Stock the bar party is actually very popular where I am from. Maybe it’s a southern thing. But it’s normally the men side that do it. The groom will invite all men(uncles, grandfathers, cousins, friends, ect) just men, and they each bring a bottle of there favorite type to basically donate to the wedding: ”stock the bar”. While they are at this event it’s normally a pretty casual thing, people play corn hole, or do a bonfire, make it easy and just order publix subs, or take away. I don’t think it’s rude or ignorant to do this. It very popular where I am from. And will probably do it myself.

Stock the bars are (supposed to be) for the couple bar at home. Not a fundraiser for alcohol for the wedding. Otherwise you get a mix of random alcohol. Some do it as a grooms version of a shower, or a co-ed event.

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Yes, the issue here is that the venue is suggesting it as a way of guests contributing to the cost of the reception. That is not acceptable.

People have addressed the etiquette aspect so I don't think we need more comment on that, but I'm just here to ask whether your venue is a traditional/professional wedding venue. I only ask because with the venues that I've seen, it's actually usually not allowed for you or your guests to provide any food or alcohol; it must all be purchased from and served by the venue. However, I'm in California so there's going to be regional differences.

There was one venue I toured that was a "blank slate" type of venue where you actually do have to provide everything (meaning literally everything -- the venue is just the room, but it's a beautiful brick building which is why people use it for weddings).

Pros: diverse selection, less gift stress. Cons: potential duplicates. Coordinate drink preferences and have non-alcoholic options. We went for a cozy pub vibe with string lights.

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I'm with you and I am from the South as well. My friends had a stock the bar party as their wedding shower and asked guests to bring alcohol in lieu of wedding presents. Everyone brought a bottle or pack of drinks and they used those drinks at the reception. It worked out really well and they only had to do a beer and wine run about an hour before the party ended. No one seemed to mind and I heard a lot of guests comment that it was much cheaper than buying expensive wedding presents that they would never use (the bride and groom lived together so they had all the household items they needed already).

Personally, I think it is up to your preference. Most people probably wouldn't see it as tacky or rude, but if you think they might, find another option. Things are just done a little different in the South perhaps.