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Allie
Dedicated May 2020

Stock the Bar Party Confusion??

Allie, on March 8, 2020 at 11:35 PM Posted in Parties and Events 0 15
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Hey everyone, so my FSIL is throwing us an engagement stock the bar party this weekend. From my understanding, I thought this meant guests can bring us alcohol as a gift if they’d like for my FH and I to have, which sounded like a fun idea to me. But now I’m seeing a bunch of people say how rude they are to have. And also that a stock the bar party ACTUALLY means giving us alcohol for us to stock our bar for the wedding?! Please tell me this isn’t true!!! I really hope it doesn’t come across that way to the guests. I would be SO embarrassed if guests thought we were wanting their help on stocking our open bar 🤦🏻‍♀️ Am I overreacting? It was FSILs idea to have this theme, not ours. Now I’m kind of nervous, help! What should we expect?!

15 Comments

Latest activity by Amber, on March 9, 2020 at 8:32 AM
  • Kelly
    Champion October 2018
    Kelly ·
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    I’ve been to several stock the bar showers and they are always to stock your bar at home. People bring bottles of liquor, different glasses, nice bottle of wine etc. I’ve only ever seen people post on here about trying to stock their wedding bar but I’ve never seen that in real life.
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  • H
    Master July 2019
    Hannah ·
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    I've always thought of stock the bar parties to refer to stocking your personal bar. Where I'm from, there are very few wedding venues that allow you to bring your own liquor, so that's really not something that comes to mind. I guess it really depends on the norms in your particular circle/geographic region.
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  • Allie
    Dedicated May 2020
    Allie ·
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    That helps that you say that! I assumed it was for our home use as well, but then looked it up on WW and saw that many people don’t like them so freaked out. Thank you!
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  • Allie
    Dedicated May 2020
    Allie ·
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    Absolutely I thought the same thing. It helps knowing you think of them this way too!
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  • Emily
    Super August 2020
    Emily ·
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    I would just clarify with your FSIL what she was referring to. If she was planning it for your wedding bar I wouldn’t be super worried about it, since she’s setting it up it’s not going to make you look like the one asking for it lol.
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  • Allie
    Dedicated May 2020
    Allie ·
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    Yeah that’s true. I guess in the grand scheme of things it doesn’t matter that much, I just didn’t want us to come across as tacky or anything!
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  • M
    VIP October 2021
    Monica ·
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    Just like pp said usually a stock the bar party is to stock the bar at home, where instead of bringing an engagement present they bring alcohol as a gift. I did a Stock The Bar Raffle for the Wedding reception at my bridal shower and it was a success and nobody minded to help us stock the bar. They were only asked to bring a bottle of sangria to enter the raffle (which had nice prizes) so not like we were asking for top of the line liquor. But for ur situation I wouldn’t worry about it, stock the bar is kinda new school but it wont make u look bad.
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  • Emily
    Super August 2020
    Emily ·
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    Yeah I feel like it won’t, especially since you’re not the one hosting it!
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  • Kimberly
    Super March 2021
    Kimberly ·
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    I would never have thought it meant to stock your reception open bar. I don’t think any of your guests will think that. Well some may, but I’d think those would be the minority.
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  • Allie
    Dedicated May 2020
    Allie ·
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    That sounds like so much fun! That’s good to know. I guess that’s why I freaked out a bit since it is a newer thing to do as well. And of course my first few searches of it online were super negative! Lol
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  • M
    VIP October 2021
    Monica ·
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    Lol ya ppl frown upon a few things here on WeddingWire
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  • Allie
    Dedicated May 2020
    Allie ·
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    That’s what I was thinking as well. I honestly didn’t consider people would think it meant stocking the actual bar until I searched it on WW and saw how many people ask others to stock their bar for the wedding through these parties. Just did not want it to seem like we were doing that!!
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  • Hanna
    VIP June 2019
    Hanna ·
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    I've been to a stock the bar shower and everything that people brought was for the couple's personal home--definitely not the wedding! However, I've never heard of anyone doing a stock the bar for an engagement party, only for bridal showers and couples showers. While some people on these forums might consider it tacky if you will also be having a bridal shower and inviting these same people (that's a lot of gifts), I think it's probably fine because this wasn't even your idea in the first place. I'm sure you'll have lots of fun!

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  • Andrea
    Super May 2020
    Andrea ·
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    Stock the bar parties are 100% referring to stocking the bar at your own house. It’s more common as a house warming party but there’s no reason it can’t be the theme of your shower. People will bring alcohol, glassware, bar ware, whatever for you and your fiancé to use at your house. It has absolutely nothing to do with use at the wedding, and it’s not rude. If they’re coming to your shower, they were going to get you a gift anyways, now they just have the gift narrowed down for them.
    You could even still do a registry with glassware and whatnot that you guys like
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  • Amber
    Master February 2020
    Amber ·
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    Wow, I'm kind of surprised at the responses here. I've only been to one stock the bar party and the couple made it very clear that it was for alcohol they would be using at their wedding. I had no idea this was not the norm for these parties, now I'm starting to think they were rude in hosting such an event. But I suppose that would explain why they also didn't send out any thank you notes from this party or for their wedding gifts. Some folks I swear... Glad this discussion taught me something I didn't know!

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