Spending too much time with Hubby?

Just be honest! Rehash what you posted in this post and tell him that. You came off very resptectful, and understandable. Everyone has difference independence levels. We all need alone time, you just need a little more alone time than your husband. Try to have the conversation before you start to feel overwhelmed or stressed, so it can be more productive. Not that a good cry isn't productive once in a while!

I would just talk with your husband and let him know exactly what you said here. Sometimes you just need some alone time to recharge your batteries. I would try to schedule it like you would schedule date night. One night a week (or more often) you get the amount of time you need to work on your website, walk the dog, take a bubble bath, go out with friends, etc. It is important to decompress once in a while. I would also talk with him about having a signal (like a code word or look) when you are out at a party or at your in-laws to tell him you want to go home, communicating is very important and will hopefully prevent issues like the one you mentioned.

You and I are the same. Sometimes I want to be alone. Does not mean I do not love to death my FH and wouldn't feel lost without him...but sometimes I want to be alone and I am sure he does too. We do not do everything together and we both agree it is great to have our own identities but we do spend a great amount of time together. I think you should sit and explain that to him and let him know that sometimes you need time for just you and most of the time you want to be with him. I will say couples events you may have to give in but for my FH and I, if I wanna be alone or watch what I want to watch I go in the bedroom. I was getting real bad about that so I started spending more time in the family room with him....even if I was doing school work or he was working on something else. I definitely say spend time with friends without him, some girl time and you two should have your own identities mean he can do things without you two, I believe you two live together and by default spend a ton of time. I would tell him what you said that it is not him and that you would be like this with anyone so he knows it is not an attack on him. Have you two lived together before the wedding?

Because some people view relationships as being together all the time. To each their own but some of the long standing marriages and advice I have heard from women is to do what you want to do even without your spouse. I often travel without mine because he is not as passionate about travel as I am and I made that clear when we moved in. I do not go for weeks or months at a time but he does not travel like I do nor has as much interest in some of the places I want to go to. We travel together sometimes and there are places we will see together but if it is a place he has no interest I do not stop my life because he does not want to, Some women find that odd but we are happy and it gives me the chance to miss him.

It is so normal to want time to do something that is absolutely yours, and yours only!

Carve out some time in advance that you want to have some alone time each week and set it like a schedule. Ex: I LOVE the gym, and while I make it a priority, my husband doesn't (totally fine!). He also knows that I like to go workout every afternoon after I get off of work. He loves to go hunting, so at least one morning over the weekend he gets up and goes out to hunt for a few hours. BONUS POINTS because in the evenings this is something he can do while I'm at the gym.

Your business/website sounds like a passion of yours and you need to nurture that. Your husband understands that, but setting a more firm time on when you want to work on it that is known by both in advance will negate any feelings of being blown off. Encourage him in any hobbies he wants to pursue as well, guys nights, sports games, outdoor activities, etc. Working full time is obviously time consuming, so consider other ways you can alter your schedules to make this work - maybe this means waking up an hour earlier to meditate and work on your website, or trading off who cooks dinner each night so the other can have some time to themselves to decompress from the day, find a new way to divide up household responsibilities so it feels less time consuming, etc.

All of this requires open communication! It's totally fine to say you need time to yourself, or you feel frustrated when y'all have a schedule/plan and then it doesn't go as expected. In your example, would you have felt better if you had a set time to leave? and at 7pm your husband said "we had a great time but need to get home" or pulled you aside and said "hey can we stay another hour?" etc. Communicate those needs to him and find a good compromise that works for both of you

It sounds to me like you're just more introverted than he is. Introverted people need alone time to recharge their batteries, while extroverts recharge their batteries from interacting with people. I'm the same way honestly. Sometimes seeing people and having to interact with people / make conversation / play games etc can take a real toll on introverts if you don't have alone time in between to recharge your "people batteries". It doesn't sound like it's *him* that's getting on your nerves, you just don't have any "people juice" left in your batteries for him and you just need actual alone time to recharge. I agree with PP that you should communicate this to him and I love the idea of coming up with a secret signal or code word that you can let him know you've reached your people limit for the night. Good luck!

If you are at all familiar with the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI -- there's a quick online version at "16personalities.com"), I strongly agree with pp who mentioned the difference between introverts and extraverts. Although I have a very extraverted profession, by nature, I am a huge introvert (and a big part of that is needing time alone to recharge). My husband is an even bigger extravert (so, for him, interaction with others is how he recharges). Spending time with others energizes and excites him, but it exhausts me. His extraversion is one of the many things I love about him (it's so easy to walk into any social situation with him because I can kind of bask in his extraversion without really having to engage too much on my own...); however, we have REALLY different needs for downtime/privacy and it's important to understand that about each other. Also, there are several major communication theories (e.g., Relational Dialectics, Knapp's relational development model, etc.) that explain the importance of finding and maintaining balance between connectedness and autonomy, especially in close, healthy relationships. I encourage you, together, to do some reading, and if that doesn't help, I'd definitely consider some couples therapy to help you understand your different needs/styles regarding time together and time apart. Both are critical and healthy in every close relationship, but like with all things, if we don't understand our partner's needs and motivations, it can be frustrating. Good luck!

I really like this! I love the code word or look idea, I feel like that would be super helpful. Thanks so much I appreciate this.

Wow I love all of these responses! I feel sooo much better about where I'm at now, I'll definitely bring up these points with him and see where we can meet in the middle. Ah I appreciate you all so much and THANK YOU!

Definitely let him know how you feel! In the beginning of our relationship, it took me a bit until I finally told FH no to going somewhere. I have a business too, plus my 9-5 so sometimes all I want and need to do is come home, put some comfy clothes on, and relax. And I'm glad, that now, FH and I always communicate this to each other. Like yesterday, I needed to get work done and stay home, he wanted to go to a hockey game. He ended up going by himself. Which is totally fine! He just owes me a hockey game date in the future haha

Be honest with him. It is healthy for couples to have alone time. Spending every moment together is not healthy for your relationship. You need time and space for yourself and for your friends, as does he. Also, time apart with cause you to miss one another. As the saying goes "absence makes the heart grow fonder", which I really do believe. I would tell him in a respectful and loving way that you need a couple of hour to yourself a week. In order to grow as a couple, you need to be able to grow as individual people. I would hope that as grown, married adults, this is something that could be agreed upon.

I have struggled with similar issues as a people pleaser. I have learned to recongize when i need alone time, crabby, short temper, zoning out in conversations... So i just let my fiance know that i need some me time that night. He's always bene super respectful because I tell him directly and don't beat around the bush.

Just be honest with your husband and tell him you need some alone time every now and then.