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Just Said Yes September 2019

Shower Invites

Kaley, on June 12, 2019 at 1:09 AM Posted in Parties and Events 0 15

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My mom and sister (who’s my maid of honor) are hosting my bridal shower. My mom asked my FMIL which women from FH’s side of the wedding guest list should be invited, and my FMIL gave her a list of names. While my mom has no issue inviting and hosting all the women FMIL wants at the shower, there’s a lot of them that I don’t know very well, and who my fiancé isn’t really that close to either. I feel like it seems gift grabby to invite so many people I rarely interact with. Should I ask my mom not to invite some of the women FMIL requested?

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15 Comments

Latest activity by Mo, on June 12, 2019 at 7:38 PM

Master October 2020
Mandi · on June 12, 2019 at 1:13 AM
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Honestly, I'd probably just do it. There will be a ton of things in the future you can disagree with your FMIL on, but if she says these are the people to invite, go for it.
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Master July 2019
Hannah · on June 12, 2019 at 1:21 AM
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I agree with Mandi. If she wants them there, they may get offended if they aren't invited, which can then make your FMIL feel upset or hurt by you. She may have already told them about it.
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Dedicated July 2019
Jennifer · on June 12, 2019 at 1:32 AM
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I don't think it makes you seem gift grabby since you aren't the one hosting the shower. I had my shower this past weekend and found out that my mom invited some distant relatives I would not have wanted there. They didn't come, send a gift, or even RSVP and I guess my mom knew they wouldn't but felt she needed to invite them to avoid being rude.
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VIP June 2019
Formerbride · on June 12, 2019 at 5:31 AM
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I hadn't met my FFILs side of the family before the shower. I never asked my FMIL for a list of women to invite because I invited all family on my FHs list, whether I met them or not. Actually most of FHs family came to the shower so I'm glad I invited them.
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Super October 2019
Andrea · on June 12, 2019 at 6:13 AM
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I’d just go with it. FMIL wants them there for a reason.
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Master June 2019
Danielle · on June 12, 2019 at 9:04 AM
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You should still invite them. It will give you a chance to get to know them.
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Master October 2019
Jolie · on June 12, 2019 at 10:28 AM
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I mean since your Mom asked your FMIL instead of you, she kinda has to invite them. I created my guest list for the shower and I didn't invite anyone I didn't want there. All women from both sides of the family are invited and only my female friends. I am not sure what kind of guests they are as you didn't say but are they far extended family or like cousins of your FH's mom or something?
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Devoted October 2020
Alli · on June 12, 2019 at 11:55 AM
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As long as all of these women are also invited to the wedding - It's more likely to hurt their feelings if they aren't invited as opposed to feeling gift grabby. And it's a great place to meet them before you wedding day.
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Legend July 2019
MrsD · on June 12, 2019 at 12:40 PM
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Are they invited to the wedding and live in the close vicinity? If so, that seems pretty normal. I'm sure your FMIL wants them all invited too.
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Super August 2019
Michelle · on June 12, 2019 at 2:56 PM
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The general rule of thumb is to invite the women you are inviting to the wedding. It seems rude to ask them to bring you a gift and attend your shower and then not be invited to your wedding.
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Devoted September 2020
Anna · on June 12, 2019 at 3:02 PM
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Maybe curb the number to 10-15 closest friends and family. Keep it more intimate
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Super October 2019
Jenna · on June 12, 2019 at 5:21 PM
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I would just invite them. Both my FMIL and FH's grandmother want to invite a couple friends each to the shower (they are all invited to the wedding of course). I have only met two of the five or six but it's important to both of them that their friends are represented so they'll be invited. My mom recently went to a bridal shower where she is a friend of the groom's mother and had never met the bride, and wasn't offended at all.
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Super October 2020
Fmv · on June 12, 2019 at 5:26 PM
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Id say if your mom has no issue hosting all these people, go ahead and invite them.
Clearly your fmil thinks its fine to invite them so id go ahead. I dont think its gift grabby at all. It gives you a chance to get to know these people
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Master May 2021
Cristy · on June 12, 2019 at 7:28 PM
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I would invite the ladies on FMILs list. She knows them, which is why she wants them invited. Traditionally, a bridal shower often had all ladies invited to the wedding, and many of them were people the bride hadn't yet met.
It's only been in more recent times we've seen the trend of having a shower for each side of the family, or smaller more intimate gatherings, or brides not wanting to have guests they don't know very well attend.
I think it's a great opportunity for you to get to know some of FHs people a little better. I don't see it as gift grabby at all. In fact, if these people are not invited, that may cause some resentment with FMIL. You don't want that, over a party.
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Devoted September 2019
Mo · on June 12, 2019 at 7:38 PM
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I don’t know my FMIL’s friends but I was asked to invite them and according to my FMIL they’re all super excited to come. It’s also a chance to get to know them, so look at it that way! If they felt it was grabby of you, I’d imagine they wouldn’t come.
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