Shower etiquette

I agree with Hanna. However, in a couple of days I'm invited to the shower where we we'll be all 7 girls... non invited to the wedding ! The couple is getting married just to start their adoption process faster. The "real" wedding will be later. Everybody understands that this wedding will be just family, so bride's and groom's brothers (not comming to the shower obviously).

Only those who are invited to the wedding should be invited to the shower. Do not invite anyone to pre-wedding parties that are nor invited to the wedding. Especially ones where the focus is to bring gifts. It's rude and comes off as gift grabby. If your co-workers or other family members want to take it upon themselves to host a shower for you (knowing they are not invited to the wedding), that is perfectly fine.

I agree with Hannah and Janet.

I also agree with Hannah and Janet.

Etiquette wise the rule that I've always known is to only invite people to the pre-wedding events (example engagement party & bridal shower) who are also invited to the wedding.

I really like Hannah's idea of of a small celebration afterwards (if you'd be interested in doing that later), it sounds like the best way that you can include everyone that you will be missing and would've loved to have at a shower.