Rehearsal Dinner

The point of the rehearsal dinner is for the couple to thank the wedding party for coming to the rehearsal. You should pay.

Mmm, I’ve never been to a rehearsal dinner where I’ve had to pay.

I’ve also never been to a rehearsal dinner where I’ve had to pay for myself.

Guests generally will expect to not pay. There's not really a polite way to tell them they'll need to open their wallets at your event

The rehearsal dinner also does not have to be grand/a mini wedding. I've seen fancier dinners (often hosted by one of the parents of the wedding couple) where all the wedding party/their SOs, close family members, and out of town guests are invited. I've also done a rehearsal dinner that was just immediate family and wedding party/their SOs that was much more low key (think pizza, deli sandwiches, etc.). Either is acceptable as long as the hosting party (couple or family) covers the cost for the guests.

I thought the grooms family paid for that.

The whole point of the rehearsal dinner is to thank those that participated in the rehearsal so you definitely shouldn't expect your guests to pay. It doesn't have to be fancy, but you should definitely provide food for those at rehearsal.

Typically meal costs are covered for the guests. My in laws offered to pay for ours.

Also, like others are saying, it doesn't have to be formal at all. When I'm a guest, if I'm fed, I'm happy. Doesn't matter to me what kind of food haha

I think traditional-traditional is with the groom's parents paying. But otherwise I think it's best to pay it yourself. It's your event. I'm planning on just some low-key pizza at ours with immediate family and wedding party members only.

I feel like it can go either way. I would say if you are going to let the guests pay you should make an announcement to everyone just so they know and you don’t get stuck with a bill.

A rehearsal dinner is necessary only if you choose to have a rehearsal. If you do, then you need to thank those who participated by giving them something to eat, even if it's just pizza. If you don't, you don't need to have a rehearsal dinner at all. But don't ask your bridal party to come, and then make them pay for their dinner.

The last rehearsal dinner I went to everyone paid their own way but understand the couple was Hispanic and maybe things like rehearsal dinners may not be a tradition and they did not know. I mean you can have everyone pay their own way but some people may be bothered, You could take everyone out for pizza and maybe they buy their own alcohol or just do something at your place. Often the grooms parents pay.

No, guests shouldn’t pay. Weddings aren’t like asking friends to go to happy hour or meeting your girls for dinner and wine (where each person pays). Instead this is a hosted event that you invited guests to attend. So, as the hosts, the couple is responsible for figuring out how it will be paid. And as someone said above, the rehearsal food doesn’t have to be an elaborate meal.

Traditionally the grooms family pays. My first wedding we had it in our home. Second wedding that I’m planning now will most likely be my sisters home. Pizza, fried chicken, casual is all perfectly fine. It doesn’t have to be at restaurants or formal.

View Quoted Comment Yes, it should be announced when inviting people to the rehearsal dinner that they will pay their own so they know what to expect. 😂 As everyone else said, it’s typically a hosted event so an announcement like that as the dinner is wrapping up would be super awkward for all attending.

View Quoted Comment I agree with you here. We are paying for our rehearsal dinner as we are expected to. But we are also keeping it very low key... like pizza. And those immediate family members that know about it are okay with it

Traditionally, the groom's parents would pay. But, it's not out of the ordinary at all for the couple to pay for this and saying the groom's parents "should pay" is making a lot of assumptions about their budget and honestly pretty rude.

The rehearsal dinner should not be something the guests have to pay for, though. If you're going to ask them to pay, then you need to tell them on the invite and remember to yourself that if someone decides not to come because they don't want to pay, you can't be upset with them. If you won't pay for it, they have the right to chose not to attend without any backlash.

For mine, I was thinking about going out to a nice resturant. My wedding party is very small so I'm not doing a huge dinner. My MOH said she would pay for herself. Though I will gladly pay if needed. But for you I think you should talk with your wedding party and see what everyone has in mind. They are there for you so just be open about it all and see where they stand.

If you’re requiring them to come to your rehearsal dinner, you should pay. If you’re letting it be optional, then make the announcement they’re responsible for their meal.