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Michelle
Super October 2020

Rehearsal Dinner

Michelle, on October 16, 2020 at 10:03 PM

Posted in Parties and Events 33

I’ve never been to a rehearsal dinner, it sounds like another party. The only ones I’ve been to were super casual and it was when I was a teenager so I barley remember. We found a restaurant super close to accommodate our group. I intend to tell everyone I plan to buy pizza, wings and salad for...
I’ve never been to a rehearsal dinner, it sounds like another party. The only ones I’ve been to were super casual and it was when I was a teenager so I barley remember.


We found a restaurant super close to accommodate our group. I intend to tell everyone I plan to buy pizza, wings and salad for sharing since it’s within budget. If anyone else wants beer or additional stuff, they can get it and pay. Is that rude? Also, am I supposed to invite their partners? That will be challenging since restaurants aren’t allowing large groups.

33 Comments

  • Michelle
    Super October 2020
    Michelle ·
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    Thank you. Most seem they do not want to drive 35-40 minutes since they would already be driving that far to the venue. It looks like I can explain to them or keep trying to find another restaurant that would let a large group in but it is difficult. Thank you.
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  • J
    Master 0000
    Judith Online ·
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    Usually any formal sit down dinner with service is assumed to be a couples affair, you invite spouses and SO. A casual meal may be just for participants in the rehearsal, or for couples, your choice to make.
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  • Samantha
    Devoted October 2021
    Samantha ·
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    I think your plan is fine. You have to follow restrictions, this is an exceptional circumstance and I wouldn't be upset having dinner with my friends without my FH in this instance. Make the dinner optional. You are hosting so you order for the table. Make sure the restaurant knows in advance and have pitchers on the table from the get go. If guests try to order, the server can inform them that it is not included in the package and must be paid separately. No need to stress.
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  • Michelle
    Super October 2020
    Michelle ·
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    Thanks, I will let them know ahead of time. Both restaurant and our party. Lol I’m serious stressing over a dinner that’s supposed to be like over within 2 hours 🤣.
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  • Samantha
    Devoted October 2021
    Samantha ·
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    Right?! Have fun don't worry.
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  • Molly
    Devoted August 2021
    Molly ·
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    I agree with PP. This is NOT a normal year. Some things are going to be bent because of restrictions. I'm sure your bridal party/family will understand if POs are not involved in the rehearsal dinner, especially when it sounds like your wedding is more local (as in the BP isn't leaving their POs in a hotel room for hours). I also don't think you need to provide alcohol as long as there are soda pitchers. (or beer ones if you want). Your close friends and family can survive an hour or two without alcohol (and if they really want something different they have the option as you mentioned).

    Try not to stress and just go with your plan. If I was in a wedding during Covid I would be completely understanding of any of the changes to "what should be done" due to restrictions.

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  • Meghan
    Rockstar October 2019
    Meghan ·
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    You don’t have to provide alcohol, however, the significant others of your RD guests should absolutely be invited.

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  • Melle
    Legend June 2019
    Melle ·
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    I don’t think that’s rude! I had a set menu that covered a drink and dessert and entree.. so if they wanted something beyond that I don’t think it would have been rude if they paid for it honestly.
    • Reply
  • K
    Savvy May 2021
    Kaelyn ·
    • Flag
    Honestly, these are the people that are closest to you in your wedding party... They should understand your situation and if they don’t then that’s an issue!! I have been to very casual and very formal rehearsal dinners. One wedding last October I was a bridesmaid in, they spent $28k on the wedding and forgot about a rehearsal! They had nothing left in the budget for rehearsal dinner. So all we did was practice at the venue and anyone who wanted to go out after as a group went to a local restaurant and we all picked up our own checks. It wasn’t in their budget to supply food/drinks to everyone. We all understood and had no issues with this!
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  • Shelly
    Devoted January 2022
    Shelly ·
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    I agree with this post! If the restaurant has a max limit, and you're at the max then that's fine. I'm sure if you explain to the bridal party that they will be understanding. The way things are right now, people have to be more flexible. Also, if I was in their shoes and I had to drive 30min to your brother's house for it, I would also be fine with that! Like Sharonda said: those who want to come will come regardless of the distance. My friend's rehearsal dinner was 45 min out of the way and everyone showed up!

    Also, not sure if it's in your budget, but you could always provide them one alcoholic drink per person if you're really concerned about them thinking it's rude if you didn't. Personally, I would understand if the B&G didn't provide alcoholic drinks. If that was the case, then I'd buy my own lol.

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  • V
    Master July 2019
    Veronica ·
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    Yes, you should invite your bridal party's significant others. As for the alcohol, we didn't have any at our rehearsal dinner because my dad is a recovering alcoholic and it was already going to be hars enough for him to be around it at the wedding so we limited his exposure to it. Also, a good portion of the people in attendance at ours don't drink anyways so it wasn't a huge deal. We told those that do drink ahead of time alcohol wouldn't be served and they were fine with that. After the rehearsal, we all went back to our venue which is a hotel and they have a bar so if they really wanted to drink they had the option to get drinks there. I personally don't see anything wrong with not serving alcohol and if people really want it then they can buy it themselves, but I also don't drink.
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  • Kate
    Expert October 2020
    Kate ·
    • Flag

    The rehearsal dinner is traditionally paid for and organized by the grooms parents- it's meant to be a welcome dinner for your wedding party, friends & family and for each side to get the chance to break the ice a little bit before the big day. We didn't necessarily go the traditional route, however, financially, my FH's parents did help us out.

    If someone is invited to the wedding and has a plus one, and is invited to the rehearsal- the plus one should absolutely be included in the rehearsal.

    Does your hotel have a conference room that can accomodate everyone? Maybe consider having Chipotle or a chain restaurant cater to the conference room. Also consider cutting it down to just wedding party, parents and a few friends or family members that are close to you. We're in some unprecedented times right now and hard decisions have to be made all around. I would imagine people would be understanding if they had to be cut from the rehearsal dinner!

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  • KYLIE
    Devoted May 2019
    KYLIE ·
    • Flag

    I honestly would invite everyone and their SOs and have it at your brother's house. 30 minutes really isn't far, and I wouldn't be soliciting people's opinions about the distance because people will always find something to complain about!

    Serving them pizza, wings and a few cases of beer or boxes of wine in a casual environment in someone's home that's a short drive is a lovely rehearsal dinner.

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