Quick vent - bridesmaid bailed on bachelorette

Sorry this has happened to you, Dawn. Personally, I would let the other bridesmaids handle it and I'd let it go. It sounds like this person is still your bridesmaid and I'm assuming you wouldn't want a rocky relationship with her, especially in the months leading up to the wedding. Pick and choose your battles, especially since she is still paying for her share. I wouldn't want to piss off the bridesmaid and have her refuse to pay and then screw all the other bridesmaids out of more money. You may not know the full extent to her current relationship with her husband, but it sounds like she feels she needs to prioritize that relationship at the moment. If you really feel the need to let her know how you feel, I'd phrase it in a way that she won't feel like you're attacking her - "I'm really sad you won't be able to make it. I was really hoping to be able to celebrate with you but I understand."

And then get over it and put your energy into being excited to spend time with your girls who ARE going to be there! You're going to have so much fun with or without her... it's really her loss on an amazing weekend. This is your weekend so make the most of it and don't let her get you down!

I second what PP said!

I think this one is better for your other Bridesmaids to handle. That way there won't be any friction between you and her. Which I think is a good thing. Since the others are clearly on the same page as you, Im sure they'd be happy to deal with this for you.

I agree with this! I love spending time with my FH but I have never felt as thought I need to stay home because of him. He would actually be annoyed with me if I said I was going to something and than didn't (obviously unless I was sick or there was an emergency of some sort) just because I committed and paid for it. I think before voicing any anger I would just check in with her too. Make sure that she is ok and see if she will maybe tell you his reasoning.

It would be tempting for me to go off on this bridesmaid. It stinks that she bailed on you because her husband's plans fell through. But I would do my best to remain calm, be thankful for the rest of my bridesmaids, maybe even check in with the bailing bridesmaid to make sure she is ok. After the wedding I would probably re-evaluate the friendship if there wasn't another extenuating circumstance (abuse, etc) for her bailing on you.

This is very odd. I always get so baffled when stuff like this happens, because I just have such a hard time imagining what goes through their mind as they make such decisions...
But if you feel like you want to say something, just explain that you're disappointed. That this is a once in a lifetime thing at that you were really hoping she'd be a part of it.

I mean, i think it's ok to be disappointed, but as long as she's paying her agreed on portion she can do whatever she wants regardless of whether you think it's a good enough reason.

We don't know that he's controlling, we don't know what his plans were. something could have happened and he might really need her right now. Or she could just feel like they need some quality time right now and that weekend would be the perfect opportunity. Maybe they hit a rough patch. If He was controlling she probably wouldn't still be paying for her portion either. At least she's still paying, so no one has to pay extra. I know it sucks but maybe just check on your friend to make sure she's ok. You never know what someone may be going through.