Pros and cons of shared bank account

We have joint and personal accounts. It'd be a red flag for me if my husband didn't want at least something jointly. Mostly because my first marriage my ex husband was extremely financially abusive. For 13 years we had separate accounts because he "had more." Not saying that's what's going on here but it's something ya'll will need to work out before getting married. Finances and sex, number one causes of divorce.

We have personal accounts then a checking account where our joint bills are paid out of. We each have an "allowance" of money that we are able to pull from for incidentals and that's housed in our personal account. Anything out of our joint account is discussed. I don't view it as my money or his money. It's our money. I make more than double what he does and still feel this way.

My fiance and I have separate accounts right now however we are planning on combining them in a few years. I work FT and he is a full time student. Since he has no income, I am the one paying for a majority of things. Once he gets into residency, and has an income and we are able to buy a home (we rent now) we will definitely be combining.

I think it all depends on your situation, but if you are both contributing to the household (car payments, mortgage, etc). I don't see why you wouldn't combine them

We currently have a joint account and separate accounts. All of our combined bills come out of joint and are personal bills come out of our separate account. We transfer a certain amount each payday to the joint account. This has worked for us for many years. One thing I like is that if we buy a gift or surprise for one another, its a secret. And we each can each that the joint bills are paid.

We aren't married yet but we do have a joint savings account for making wedding stuff easier. We both have our own checking accounts and credit cards. I pay all the joint bills from my account and he Venmo's me. We each pay our own student loans, car notes, etc. I think we'll be opening up a joint account when we get married and also keeping a separate card for our own leisure.

We're opening a joint checking account next week. We're going to get a debit card for it because we're tired of splitting up the groceries and asking each other who's buying what. We're still going to keep our individual accounts, but have a joint one for bills and household expenses.

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I am so about this, I dont want to be responsible for everything right now because its my house we are moving into

We have a joint account , two actually! One we use for everyday and ones just a wedding one . We have had a joint account every since I moved in with him and before we even talked about marriage. I like having a joint so we can both keep an eye on what's being spent. But even now that were getting married it's really important to share an account because wete a team ! Our Bill's are our bills, our money is our money ! We dont say well I make more then u and all that. It doesnt matter who makes what! Were a family! I swipe the card when I want and he does the same.

There are different things that work for different people, but you are getting married so your FH shouldn't have a "Whats mine is mine" mindset. My FH and I have structured our finances in a way that makes sense for US.

We each have individual checking/savings accounts, AND we have a third shared checking/savings account. Both of our paychecks are direct deposited into the THIRD account. This is where our major expenses are drawn from. (Mortgage payment, car payments, student loans, cellphones, home security, utilities, groceries, gym memberships, Netflix/Amazon etc...)

Every week we transfer $100 from the shared checking into each of our personal checking accounts. We use that money for fuel, gas station drinks/drive thru, and whatever misc. expenses for that week. if we have any leftover, we can spend it or t/f it to personal savings for things like gifts for each other, or something that we have been wanting to purchase for ourselves.

Also every week, we transfer $100 from shared checking into shared savings. We like to keep $1000.00 in the shared savings, and its used for emergency expenses and/or the bigger "wants" (Like last year we bought a hot tub from that savings!)

What it all boils down to is teamwork and doing what is best for you. Sure, I make significantly less money than FH, (He is an engineer and went to school for 6 years for it - I am an accounting assistant with only 2 years of university) but we are still an equal team, supporting ourselves/each other on our journey.

Best of luck to you!

That would really frustrate me if my fiancé thought he was entitled to more because he makes more. We are 100% a team. I am a yoga instructor and he is a vp at an insurance benefits company, so we are talking about more than a 100k difference. I work just as hard, just as many hours, I just do a different job. Right now he pays all the bills except for my car payment. We don’t have a joint account yet, but we are both very transparent with money and he’ll give me money for whatever I need.
My ex was an engineer and he considered me “just a yoga teacher” That drove a huge wedge in between us, I would’ve never been his equal because I didn’t make enough money.
I would definitely have all these financial tasks before you get married. It’s so important to be on the same page with finances. What works for one couple may not work for another so my best advice is to talk about it and reach a compromise where you are both happy and both feel worthy and appreciated.

Although FH and I have no desire to share a bank account (at least right now) it has nothing to do with how much each of us make. We honestly just end up using Venmo and that’s easiest for us.. there’s no right or wrong way however I think the real issue lies in the fact he doesn’t want to share an account because he makes more money than you do. My FH makes a significant amount more than I do but he would never say it in such a way. I think it’s worth having a conversation about finances since it appears that he feels if you guys share a bank account you’ll “overspend” and “take more than your share” which really isn’t the right approach. I’m sure there were no ill intentions with what he said but better to have that conversation sooner rather than later.

We personally have one joint account. Big financial moves are not made without consulting one another- even when one makes more than the other. It’s a team effort in my eyes.

We're planning on doing joint checking after we get married and likely joint savings too. FH never balances his checking account so we've discussed maybe him having a cash allowance each week from the joint account. He doesn't always get receipts from things like gas station or stores so we figured a cash allowance might be easier than me pulling my hair if I can't get the checkbook to balance each month and he doesn't remember where or exact amount of a transaction 😂

There is no hard and fast rule of this decision. Maybe a compromise would be opening a separate savings account and both of you contribute what you can for thinks like new furniture, vacations, or something to treat yourselves so that you can be a team and create those memories together.

We have separate bank accounts. Once married we will have a joint savings account. He makes more than me, but I am more responsible with money. I dont wanna commingle an account that has my paycheck going into. It's a personal preference.

We are planning on opening both a joint checking and savings account, but also keeping our individual checking and savings that we had prior to getting together. We have known couples personally, who completely combine finances and keep track way too closely on what their spouse is spending with "their money", which can lead to fights. My parents did what we are doing regarding finances and for them it led to a lot less fights about what the other was spending. They made sure to maintain an open and honest dialogue about how much they were making and spending and I would say that maintaining that transparency is the most important piece, whether or not you choose to combine finances. It is such a personal decision and one that you should definitely have a lot of conversations about with your FH.

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I really like your insight on this! I think that's a great idea. No need to be secretive about finances but you're right, I don't want either of us to feel guilty if we spend some leisure money.

We have both joint and personal accounts. Joint checking for bills, joint savings for trips/home improvement and then we both have our own personal accounts just so we can keep some things separate

We already split the bills between the two of us and don't see the point of getting a shared account. We both enjoy having our own money and buying what we want without having to consult the other about it. That being said, when we got engaged we got a shared savings account for the wedding and we plan to keep it to use for updates to our house.

Pros - Having a shared account lets you monitor and track all spending together in one place. You know how much each other makes, how much is being spent on not only bills but other things such as lunch, gas, etc. This also makes it easier to budget since you know exactly what your income is and what expenses you have coming out.

Cons - With a joint account, may have more arguments about money, especially if you are a saver and your partner is a spender. Justifications may have to be given for certain transactions. Purchasing gifts can be a little harder since both of you have access to the account or your spouse may question why you spent more on your mom than his mom.

My Personal Experience:

We tried having separate personal accounts and one joint account for bills. Shortly after we were married it became a BIG issue and almost caused us to divorce. With the aid of counseling, my husband admitted he had a major spending problem, "If I want it, I get it" was his mentality. This way of thinking began to cause us to be late on our bills, and resulted in utilities being cut off a couple times. He put his wants before his needs, so to speak. In counseling we discussed how this wasn't acceptable and without my savings we wouldn't have had our basic necessities. We managed to pull through this rough time. It was decided that I would keep my personal account, but he would close his account and use our joint. Yes, my husband told me to keep my personal account, since it had been our safety net more than once.Good News though, we are officially homeowners, financially stable , and much happier! We are still working on how to purchase gifts and surprise one another since we share the same account. I think we have decided to just decide on a $ amount and use cash instead..still a work in progress though.

My advice for your situation:

Previous commentators have said things about your fiance not wanting to have a joint account because he makes more money being a Red Flag. I do agree, to some extent. I would advise having a lengthy discussion, about finances before saying "I Do". I also recommend having the discussion with a counselor so they can mediate the conversation. Often when people talk about subjects which can be uncomfortable they shut down instead of actually listening to what the other is trying to say. Not saying this is the case but it's possible your fiance has a fear that you don't know about.Maybe a close family member or someone close to him got divorced and the ex cleaned out their bank account without saying a word? Unfortunately this does happen, it happened to a friend of mine.

Either way, this is definitely something I encourage you to dig deeper into, and talk openly with your fiance about.

I definitely don’t see this as a red flag. This is my second marriage and the first time we had separate accounts but added each other’s names on the account if there was an emergency. I used mine and he used his. The plus side is that I did what I wanted without explanations, he did the same and if things would’ve went south I had the power to make sure my assets were safe. When we needed to pay something jointly we either split the cost or gave money to the other. When he died, I had complete access to his accounts because my name was added. My current fiancé agreed to have separate accounts and do the same thing for the same reasons. I have friends that have fought over joint accounts and differences in spending habits. I have also had friends who had their spouse drain the entire account when heading for divorce. It was brutal. However, I also have friends who have similar spending habits and goals and have a very successful financial relationship. Having separate accounts but adding a name doesn’t necessarily mean it’s a joint account unless you decide to both use the account together. In my situation it was added for only the case of death. Just remember in most places, if you have joint accounts without identifying a primary person, it’s always harder for a woman to claim rights to the money over a man.