*So I may be pregnant. I’m scared.. 😞
& may or may not have had a miscarriage before.
I’m thinking I have because of countless amounts of research I’ve done as well as talking to a plethora of others that have experienced what I have and of whom also received confirmed miscarriages from doctors etc. if anyone is wondering what I experienced I can pm you through here (since I’m still a bit curious as well and want some clarification on whether I really did experience a miscarriage years ago) Otherwise I’m more than likely not going to post it on this thread due to it having some sensitive info that some people may not want to hear. Nothing way terrible, just the usual things you hear from early miscarriages.
*Back to my original/main topic. I have been having pregnancy symptoms. But I’m also honestly not the healthiest and have been doing my best to get back into being healthy. Both my husband and I have. It’s TOUGH. 😆 And realized I have a bit of a hormone imbalance. Along with terrible allergies all year long, hypoklemia, asthma, the works I suppose. (I also have been put through the ringer as far as stress goes which can also mess with your body and hormones. Like before and during the wedding especially. Then right after the wedding I lost my job and now have a new one which is awesome and I’m so blessed and thankful however it’s a completely different schedule than my body is used to-I work a lot of night shifts- and so sleep is off schedule now as well. On top of natural anxiety that feels like it’s been worsened recently or have had worse days and some panic attacks I haven’t had for awhile)Don’t get me wrong I know that a lot of this is worsened &/or if not really brought on by not eating the best/drinking enough water etc but it still stinks especially when a lot of these symptoms along with my horrible period symptoms mimic pregnancy symptoms.
I also feel...different. Is this weird?I more than likely am not pregnant (believe it’s probably just my body and all the changes that have happened to it. Especially recently like my new job schedule——also hope I’m not due to Having alcohol etc since I’ve taken several pregnancy tests and they’ve all came back negative) & again like I’ve said I know we’re not ready to have kids. For me more than likely won’t be for awhile if ever. 🤣 I keep going back and forth on the having kids subject. I know husband wants them and there are days I do and I know I’d be a good mom, put the child/children first, & then before my own wants/needs.....but I just want to be married. And have as much married life experience especially time with my husband/selfish times as I possibly can. (Especially since him and I don’t really get much alone time as it is. & idk if it’s just me and/or possibly on top of that a cancer ♋️ thing, but I LOVE one on one time with my husband and prefer that as my top priority then after that I prefer smaller gatherings or even one on one with my girlfriends over bigger gatherings. Just me?)
*I’ve also had very strange dreams recently (even worse than the usual) and along with my info earlier of not really wanting kids now and for at least awhile so I can enjoy married life and my husband—there’s still times I’ve just laid in bed sobbing because I wanted a baby. IDK. Am I going crazy?? 😂 or are there others out there who feel/felt the same as me?