Hey All!
It is not as much drama as I have too many Mother Ofs who want to help with some pre wedding events. I have my mother (MOB), my mother in law (MOG), and my step mom (SMOB). We got engaged in late Feb. 2020, and our wedding is set for June 2022. We were always planning on a long engagement, and due to the pandemic, we really haven't done anything yet to celebrate getting engaged. All three Mother Ofs want to host THEIR OWN Bridal/Wedding Shower for me. I am in need of some advice on how to figure out who should host what.
Some Back Ground: My Mother in Law (MOG) lives about 2.5 hours away from us near all of my future husband's family (This is also near where we will be getting married), while my mother (MOB) and step mother (SMOB) only live about 20 minutes apart and near my FH and I. The MOB and MOG get along great, but they want to throw separate parties to host their own family and friends due to the location distances, and my MOB doesn't like my SMOB, and would not be down to cohost an event together. I am not super close with my SMOB, my dad and SMOB got married while I was in college, and my Dad passed away and we haven't really made an effort to stay close since his passing. I do want to include my SMOB, because my Dad would have wanted me to stay connected with her. Finally, my Mother in Law (MOG) is disabled. She had a stroke just over 10 years ago, which has caused her to be unable to drive and can't travel. She is physically disabled and slightly mentally disabled, her short term memory was affected, but if you write things down or remind her multiple times, it helps her. She can plan things on her own, but will need help keeping up with reminders and making sure the important things actually get done, not just picking out decorations and party games. My future sister in law (FSIL) is also a bridesmaid and states that she will help her/MOG. I already promised my MOG that she could host a wedding shower, as when my FSIL got married she felt neglected and did not have a huge role to play, this is both due to the stroke (it was much closer to when the stroke happened to now) and due to my FSIL's overbearing husband's mother. The MOG and the FOG are already going to host the Rehearsal dinner, but it won't be anything fancy, just the run through and some pizzas.
So finally, I just need some advice on what pre-wedding events should go to who. I would like each of them to be able to host something. These events should all happen post covid, most likely anytime between June 2021 and May 2022. I honestly have no opinion on which pre wedding events should and shouldn't happen, and if all of the Mother Of's weren't interested in hosting a pre wedding event, they probably wouldn't even happen. My FH/Fiancé is a medical student, and he already exists in a place with no free time so he doesn't care about pre wedding events and has left the majority of the communication and wedding planning up to me (which is totally fine with me).
Has anyone else dealt with a similar issue? What pre-wedding events can I try to assign to who? Any one have experience working with a very interested and excited yet disabled family member? Are there any other pre wedding events other than an engagement party or wedding/bridal shower that is family friendly? Any advice on how to tell people what they are doing and not hurt feelings?
