My partner and I planned to have two weddings this year, one mid-size family gathering and another destination wedding in a tropical place. Both were canceled due to COVID, so we decided to have a relatively spontaneous backyard wedding with only (some of) our immediate family members present. We only had a few weeks to throw everything together. Our bachelor and bachelorette parties had to be canceled as well, for the same reason.
Whenever I hear people say that "despite the struggle, the day was perfect," I just feel sad. Our day was not perfect. It wasn't horrible, but it wasn't anywhere near perfect. I cried the morning of and then again the day after. I couldn't have any friends there, and I put in so much work to try and make the day as safe as possible given the virus situation. I didn't get my hair or makeup professionally done, my dress was not steamed, I was still prepping (i made pretty much all the food for the wedding) until 2 hours before the ceremony, and we didn't have a photographer (though our family stepped in and took some good shots). The wedding itself was lovely for a few hours, and we had fun, but then it was over and we went back to work exhausted two days later, and also anxious about anyone getting sick. We can't have a honeymoon (we were planning to go to Europe) and didn't even get to have a mini moon. I just feel sad and disappointed. We keep saying that we will celebrate with people when it's safe, but I don't think it will happen unless we decide to do a vow renewal multiple years later. A part of me feels like it doesn't matter because I got to marry my best friend, while another part of me feels kind of heartbroken about it.
I was never about making a huge deal of the wedding or wanting to spend so much money, but I wanted to feel special and for the day to feel memorable. In a lot of ways, it just didn't feel like that, and I feel like we missed out on something that we (mostly I) have been planning for over a year. I am happy to be married, and I love my husband, but I hate that I feel sad when I think back to the day and the process. Is anyone else in the same boat? If so, I am sending you lots of love and comfort.