OldSchoolKindaLove
Devoted September 2018

Photo Session vs. Vow Renewal?

OldSchoolKindaLove, on February 5, 2020 at 1:52 PM Posted in Married Life 0 10
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Decisions, Decisions....Let me start off by saying that my husband and I are both unsatisfied with how our wedding day turned out. In fact we often choose not to talk about it, because we both end up aggravated, upset, etc. Long story short we spent a lot of time, effort, and money doing DIY projects, decorating, etc. and we have nothing to show for it. Our wedding video was pretty good, but big moments were missing including the mother/son dance, bouquet toss, etc. Our wedding photos are all action photos, photos of guests, posed family photos, etc. We don't have a single wedding photo of us from our wedding day. I have asked wedding guests, and no one took pictures because we requested an unplugged ceremony. Everyone, and I mean everyone is asking for our wedding photos still. I thought we could appease everyone by gifting them a copy of the wedding video....nope...we were wrong. They all liked the video, but are asking for photos! I have tried to explain to everyone that our photos didn't turn out well, I am still waiting on some final edits, etc. It's extremely stressful and honestly makes me wish we didn't even have a wedding.

We had a hard first year of marriage, attended marriage counseling, recently bought our home, and are in the process of unpacking and deciding what to keep and what to get rid of. For instance, I have this entire box full of wedding items...decorations, flowers, toasting flutes, Mr. & Mrs. photo albums, frames, etc. No idea what to do with it.

I settled for a closer to home wedding so his family would be able to attend, but my longing desire for a wedding at the beach hasn't died out yet. I guess I just feel like we have come so far even though we have only been married for going on 2 years. I want something to look at and celebrate instead of feeling upset, aggravated.

Any advice?




10 Comments

Latest activity by OldSchoolKindaLove, on February 24, 2020 at 9:54 AM
  • Melle
    Legend June 2019
    Melle ·
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    I like the idea of a photo shoot. I've friends who have done more wedding photo shoots after their wedding. If you don't have photos and you want to look back on it then I don't see why not.
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  • Kristen
    Master November 2020
    Kristen ·
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    I would say have a vow renewal and maybe make it a mini vacation or something, I hate to ask this but I am assuming things are better but do you feel the vow renewal will make things better within the relationship? I know weddings are important but I do not want that to be the reason you two are fighting. I would toss the wedding stuff or try to sell it but nothing wrong with doing a vow renewal just you two.

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  • OldSchoolKindaLove
    Devoted September 2018
    OldSchoolKindaLove ·
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    During our first year of marriage, I gave him an ultimatum of marriage counseling or divorce. It had gotten so bad that I had to even point out vows he made on our wedding day, which he had already broken within the first 6 months of our marriage. Also, one of our groomsman told me that they were concerned that he was going to collapse during the ceremony due to the amount of alcohol he consumed prior. A lot of hurtful things, and those are just some of the big ones. With marriage counseling we were able to get through a lot of our issues.

    Fast forward to today: We have open lines of communication, financially we are doing well, and finally back to being like we were before we got married (if that makes sense). Personally it feels like something worth celebrating and building a future on.



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  • Kristen
    Master November 2020
    Kristen ·
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    OOoooooh okay awesome. I am glad you worked through it. I just hoped the bad experience with the wedding is what caused issues. I do feel that you both deserve a happy day and doing a vow renewal is a great idea!

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  • Sherry
    Master September 2019
    Sherry ·
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    If I were in your shoes, I would go full on photo session. I would pack our wedding attire and take myself and my husband to a trip on the beach, hire an amazing photographer and get you both some memories of a wedding you will love. You don't need the officiant, decorations, the table settings, fancy food or even family and friends to make new and better wedding memories. Then when you get home, you can take out those Mr and Mrs frames, dust them off and add some of the new photos around the house to remind you both just how far you have come and how happy you are.

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  • OldSchoolKindaLove
    Devoted September 2018
    OldSchoolKindaLove ·
    • Flag

    Final Decision - We will have a family member or friend take some photos of us for our 2nd anniversary, and plan a vow renewal for our 5th or 10th anniversary. This way we have photos to give people who keep asking and we have more time to decide and plan our vow renewal.

    Thanks for the advice!!

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  • Catherine
    VIP November 2019
    Catherine ·
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    I'm so sorry photos of your day didn't turn out how you'd hoped. i would say do a photo shoot!! i mean it won't be the same as a "wedding day" shoot perhaps but you could definitely do newlywed photos. buy a cake - do a cake cutting. do solos and hey even try a cake smash to make it fun Smiley winking

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  • OldSchoolKindaLove
    Devoted September 2018
    OldSchoolKindaLove ·
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    I think we are going to do just a few couple photos for our 2nd Anniversary, and plan a vow renewal with close friends and family around 5 or 10 years.

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  • J
    Master 0000
    Judith ·
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    This sounds much better. But aside from the photos, do something special, just you two, to treat yourself on your anniversary. You have turned things around and made the marriage work, not other people's business, but important for you to recognize and celebrate. I wish you happiness going forward.
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  • OldSchoolKindaLove
    Devoted September 2018
    OldSchoolKindaLove ·
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    We will make a day out of it. Not sure what all that will consist of at this point since it's not until September, but I am sure we will have something planned by then. We have talked and decided to have a small vow renewal for our 5th or 10th anniversary, especially since we have turned things around. Nothing big, but a small gathering with a few close friends and family if they wish to attend. We have decided the renewal will be on the beach. Since that was my original intent for the venue of our wedding, but we couldn't due to his family being unable to travel.

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