Brandi
Devoted July 2020

Not too thrilled about Bachelorette Party and Bridal Shower

Brandi, on October 2, 2019 at 12:38 PM Posted in Parties and Events 0 15
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Truth be told, I really don’t want a bridal shower or a bachelorette party. I don’t like the idea of “expecting” people to offer two gifts, “expecting” people to give more of their time to my exciting life event and, I also have a very short social battery. I dread social events. But, I’m my moms’ only daughter and only child getting married and I know she’s thrilled to throw me a bridal shower. So, I’ve accepted that I have to have one and attend. However, I am stuck on the bachelorette party. Again, I have a very low social battery and don’t do too well in social settings. Half hour in and I’m ready to go home and chill, lol. My mom and two MOHs are hell bent on me also having a bachelorette party. In a sense, I’m split because I don’t want to miss out on the fun and think that I let my anxiety get in the way of being more social. But, I also am a control freak – I’ll admit and want to plan what I do because my MOHs and mom will have me bar hopping, with strippers and I really don’t want that lol.

Anybody in the same situation and just have any thoughts or suggestions?

15 Comments

Latest activity by Megan, on October 2, 2019 at 7:39 PM
  • Melle
    Legend June 2019
    Melle ·
    • Flag
    My bridal party knew from the get go that I am not one of those bar hopping and clubber types so they asked me what I'd like to do. I think if you ask them to do something low key and more relaxing they'd be understanding
    • Reply
  • Caytlyn
    Legend November 2019
    Caytlyn ·
    • Flag
    Tell them that you’re perfectly fine with a bachelorette party, but would prefer something more laid back instead of the typical bar hopping and strippers. Maybe a spa day, dinner, sip and paint party?
    • Reply
  • MrsD
    Legend July 2019
    MrsD ·
    • Flag

    Could you do a bridal luncheon or bridal tea instead, and have your mom put on the invite you don't want gifts? Then it would just be a short party with no gifts? For the bach, I'd just tell them the truth. You want something short & intimate. Maybe a happy hour dinner? A paint & sip class? A yoga class? Something that has a specific timeline and can be done in an hour or two. Then you still get the wedding & bridal events, but they don't have to be huge events. I would just be 100% honest with your mom, MOHs, and BMs. Tell them how you are feeling and ask them to respect that.

    • Reply
  • Kiley
    Expert November 2019
    Kiley ·
    • Flag

    I am very similar in regards to low social interactions.. My sister who is my MOH planned mine, but has sought my opinion. We are doing dinner, board and brush (like a paint and sip), and that's about it. My sister has a few other things planned, but nothing like going to clubs, etc.. it'll be low-key. Is it possible for you to voice your wants and have one that accommodates your personality verses your mom/sisters?

    • Reply
  • Watts
    Super March 2020
    Watts ·
    • Flag
    I'm the same. I can't emotionally be around people too long. A perfect Bach party for me would be getting our nails done, then hitting a casino because I love slot machines and I can walk away and find a machine in the corner I can play by myself lol
    • Reply
  • Stephanie
    Dedicated October 2019
    Stephanie ·
    • Flag

    My Mother practically told me I was having a shower. I honestly don't think the Bridal Shower is for the bride outside of the presents, most of the time. I was just happy to see her happy and I'm sure I'll understand if I ever have a daughter. I just thought it was a hassle and one more thing to plan, I didn't want to ask MoH -- because that's rude. Well, MoH was going to do one anyway and it worked out in favor with the bridesmaids pulling all together for a really cute shower that I actually super enjoyed. I made the game, though -- because it was Jeopardy... and my FH was there with a couple of his friends. I thought that it made it seem more of like a hang out with some food than an awkward obligation.


    As for my bachelorette party, we did a combined one. FH people over for some drinks before we went out to axe throwing - my MoH brought me to dinner before we went to Axes. It was super fun to have a combined, because everyone could mingle with who they wanted and Axe Throwing -- you weren't forced to participate but it was hard not to throw sharp objects and get our frustrations out. They all came back afterwards to hang out some more and play N64 on our projector screen and some card games, with some drinking involved. Nothing over the top.


    Tell people that you're not interested in doing a big to do, if you're not. You shouldn't be forced into anything you're not comfortable with, but you might be surprised with how much fun you can have.

    • Reply
  • Brandi
    Devoted July 2020
    Brandi ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment

    Thank you, I really appreciate this.

    • Reply
  • Cookie
    Dedicated October 2019
    Cookie ·
    • Flag
    Maybe you can just let them know that you only want the bridal shower and not the bachelorette. I am super introvert and understand the awkwardness and having to entertain but think you should enjoy it because you may regret it a little. You get to spend time with your close friends and family.

    I kinda wish my mom was throwing me a bridal shower but it is what it is. I wish the best. You will have a great time
    • Reply
  • N
    Dedicated October 2020
    Neena ·
    • Flag
    Stand your ground about what you want. How about dinner and a show or dinner and a paint class instead of typical bars/ clubs/ strippers? No one can make you go to that of that's not you.
    • Reply
  • F
    Devoted October 2019
    Future Mrs Wilson ·
    • Flag
    I'm with you sista! I wanted a low key BP with dinner and a comedy show. Instead it's happening at a club for their happy hour. Im just trying to be grateful someone thought enough of me to plan this for me. I'm hoping it goes well for you and me. Hugs.
    • Reply
  • K
    Dedicated October 2019
    Katherine ·
    • Flag
    Re bachelorette:

    I wanted something low key. So we had 11 people over at my house and played games and ate and drank for a few hours.

    Then in a small handful of us went to a dancehall later that evening and mostly danced with each other. It was a blast and I didn’t get burned out on people.
    • Reply
  • Sarah
    Expert August 2020
    Sarah ·
    • Flag

    I was in a wedding with a bride that is very similar to you. She requested a bachelorette party with just her 4 bridesmaids. We went out shopping and to a dualing piano bar not too far away. We stayed in a hotel even though we could have driven home that night. It was perfect for her.

    • Reply
  • Kristal
    Expert February 2020
    Kristal ·
    • Flag

    Just tell them you want something more low key. If they want to spend time and celebrate with you, offer some better suggestions of what you want and why. Maybe even tell them that you just want a few close friends. Either way, dont let them pressure you if it is something that you are truly uncomfortable with.

    I am personally hoping for board gaming evening or sitting around a campfire and none of my girls seem to have an issue with that.

    • Reply
  • Dynesha
    Devoted June 2020
    Dynesha ·
    • Flag
    I don’t even want to think about planning a bridal shower! I decided that if I want a bachelorette “event” I’d want to go to New Orleans for a weekend and just enjoy the sights. My drawback is that my sisters are my bridesmaids and I know they’re not financially comfortable hosting/paying for a big event.
    I like the other ideas of the other brides suggesting a short social activity. Socialization can be draining!
    • Reply
  • Megan
    Expert October 2019
    Megan ·
    • Flag
    My bachelorette party was just a nice dinner and then we went to Painting with a Twist. Maybe you could offer that as a suggestion of what you want to do to control the situation. Good luck and happy planning. 🍀
    • Reply

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