Not Sure How to Handle the Subject

I think I would just say something about still wanting to keep going on your attempts, but that you aren't comfortable with the idea that friends may overhear such a personal moment.

I would just mention that those weeks coincide and that you don't feel comfortable doing it in such a public setting. It's better to acknowledge it now then wait and possible have a fight while on a trip with your friends. Skipping one month is not the end of the world.

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It's a big deal to my husband. He was so upset when I suggested that we take a break from trying which is why I am worried how he will react to me not wanting to try for one month.

I think what pp said made the most sense - you're not wanting to stop trying, it's just that you don't want the off chance of your personal moment being overheard.

You’re allowed to say no to sex whenever you want for any reason you want, he shouldn’t try to make you feel guilty. Are you going to be on this trip for your entire fertile window?

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No, my window fertility window will be July 6 - 13 and our trip is July 10 - 12. I mentioned it to my husband and his solution is to take a trip to the store and have sex in the car. I'm not a fan of that solution.

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So I mentioned it to him and his answer was we can tell them we have to go to the store and we can sex in the car which I'm also not comfortable with. I personally think the best option is to just skip trying in July.

View Quoted Comment If you have sex July 9 and the morning of July 13 you still have a good chance.

View Quoted Comment Just so really you could have sex on the 6th, 8th, and 12th? You’re only missing one time.

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True! He had mentioned possibly going a day earlier, but we shall see.

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I'm kind of over the whole thing, but he wants to keep trying so I guess that's what's going to happen.

View Quoted Comment I really really want to stress this 100%. It doesn't matter whether it's for conception or just for fun, if you don't want to have sex, him guilting you and pressuring you and getting upset is not ok. Also, if you don't want to have sex in a car, that's completely OK too.


Based on this thread and the previous one, it sounds like you are the one that is really charging everything and he is now complaining because it's taking three fun out of it and it sounds like work? You're the one taking medications and plotting on calendars and such! I'm sorry, but he is coming off as kind of selfish and entitled here.

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I agree with you! My friend's husband kept track of everything with her like a team, but I feel kind of alone in this process. When I told him I was diagnosed with PCOS, he had no clue what it was and has done nothing to educate himself on the condition. I have kept track of everything on my own. When I expressed a desire to take a break, he told me he thought I was punishing him for not wanting to have sex the night before when we were supposed to, but I think that break actually was really helpful for me. I had been putting so much pressure on myself and was really upset every time one of my friends posted a pregnancy announcement on Facebook. My mindset has since changed. I feel like it will happen when it happens and that now just might not be the right time as I am unemployed because of Covid. It also doesn't bother me anymore, when I see pregnancy announcements. If it were 100% up to me, I would stop taking the medication and quit tracking and if I get pregnant great and if I don't that's okay, but my husband is 100% against that which is the only reason I am continuing to take the medication and tracking.

View Quoted Comment I would really communicate all this to him, about how you feel all alone in this. Even the fact that he thought you would use sex as a means of punishment is a signal that you two may have some communication issues. I think, if possible, couple's counseling may help you two to communicate your feelings to each other. If you're "over it" and he's not, then you two need to find some sort of solution that works for both of you, not just one of you. Also, it is your body, so you have the right to make choices about your body without him guilting you.

I agree with the suggestion that you seek couples counseling. It took us 8 yrs to have our miracle baby. I had three separate surgeries for different issues, and spent years on a variety of hormones. It became constant stress and disappointment. I was frequently depressed, irrational, angry, emotional, you name it.... I finally told my OBGYN that if we didn't take a break from the drugs, we weren't likely to have a marriage to have a baby in. After 7 yrs, we decided to take some time off so we could refocus and breathe, and really think about a childless, but happy future. It's totally cliche, but a few months later I was pregnant. I know it doesn't happen that way for a lot of couples, so I'm NEVER one to give the "just relax" response. For us it was truly a random, unexpected miracle that happened when we least expected it. Hopefully, a good counselor can help the two of you find a more common ground so whatever you decide you're on the same page and at peace. Good luck to you!

Having sex in a car can absolutely land you in a sex offender registry.


You are allowed to say no to sex, whenever, wherever, for any reason.
You're the one on the meds, and he's complaining that sex is work?
You don't know how to communicate to your own husband that you don't want to have sex on a trip where your friends may overhear?
I think couples counseling is in order.

I cannot stress enough that you two should consider counseling.

You are arguing over when and how to have a baby, which ... is not a good way to start a family. He's pressuring you to have sex (which is... not a healthy response in a relationship), you're struggling with the current situations, and you have to do all the work of medication AND the pregnancy.

If he's so upset about this, then he MUST (no should, no maybe, MUST) educate himself on what your body is *already* going through, what it *will* go through, and how to be a good partner and father when the baby is here.

You need to both be on the same page, and if you aren't, it's only going to get worse if you get pregnant.