No Bridal shower and Bachelorette parties for me

It's definitely not wrong to feel sad. We can't help our feelings. Don't let others know though. You don't want to seem like you feel entitled to a party. You know that's not true. Your family is probably really happy for you but just can't swing it or doesn't think it's that big a deal. I know I'm not in a position to host a shower for a family member or friend. Don't take it personally. Allow yourself to feel but don't let it dominate your every moment. After a bit you have to let it go.

It's not wrong to feel sad, but remember that it's not an entitlement to have a gift giving party thrown for you. If what you're missing is a small celebratory party, you could throw a bridal luncheon for your nearest and dearest.

Remember that getting married is your rite of passage- it has more meaning to you than to anyone else. Just because people don't throw lavish parties doesn't mean they don't care about you.

It’s definitely not wrong to feel sad. Sometimes people don’t even know that you might want one. Maybe drop some hints and see if anyone picks up on them.

Your feelings are what they are. Just don't act on them.

You have no idea what is going to happen 2 months from now.

If you don't have a shower, you will be just as married and that's the important part.

Who is invited to the ceremony? If it's just the two of you, that's probably why no one has offered.

View Quoted Comment I completely agree!! @RedQueen

I think if you really want one, you should do it. I'm throwing my own shower. I only have one life and I am going to live it to the fullest. Even if you dont want to throw your own shower or bachelorette party you can do a luncheon or a night out party.

View Quoted Comment

Hang on, don't put words in my mouth! I didn't suggest throwing her own shower because that's tacky to throw your own gift giving party. I suggested a bridal luncheon which is basically a shower with no gifts. The bride pays for everything, too, since it's a hosted party.

If she just suggests a night out with friends, that goes Dutch but then it's not a wedding party. All depends what she wants.

I have no bridal party but even if I did, I would not want a bridal shower... that just does not appeal to me anymore but I can see why you may be sad. I decided to have a spa day with my sisters, mom, aunts and best friend. My mom really wanted to do something so thats what we are doing but no gifts will be given. You can always have a girls night or something similar where it is not wedding related and you can plan that.

Thanks for the responses, I think I should make one or two things clear that I've noticed from some of the replies. For me it's not about gifts, I'm not looking for that, I was looking forward to having that experience. I'm planning and paying the wedding by myself, I've helped plan parties for other family members mostly on my own, I was hoping for someone would do it for me. Also I have mentioned it to my mother a couple of times, she just says she's not a planner and brushes me off. At the courthouse my parents, 3 sisters, grandparents and close girlfriend will be there. My friend mentioned in passing about a bachelorette party, but nothing else.

View Quoted Comment So, one of the tradeoffs for having a small, intimate wedding is usually the lack of preweding parties. This is because anyone invited to these parties must be invited to the wedding. You could however take the women who will be attending your wedding out to lunch (you pay) or invite them to share a pre-wedding spa day.

I pretty much second what everyone else is saying.

But also keep in mind that these events are often planned as surprises. I've known about my shower, but I am invited to a shower in a few weeks that the bride knows nothing about.

View Quoted Comment Right but a bridal shower is a gift-giving event, that's why people are saying it's tacky to throw your own. I would just take my closest girlfriends out to lunch to replace this (no gifts of course). I am sorry you feel let down by this. It sounds like your friends might be planning some kind of bachelorette party, so I wouldn't totally lose hope on that but if it doesn't happen, just focus on your wedding and your FS!

What's tacky about hosting your own shower? I've never heard that before...