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Dedicated September 2021

Mixed Emotions About Wedding

Conny, on September 7, 2021 at 10:02 PM Posted in Married Life 0 26
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We just got married two days ago and my fiancé now hubby is so special to me. I have no regrets about marrying him.
Our actual day was really hard. First, IT RAINED. The worst. Then our day of coordinator just couldn’t get my vision for decor which I had DIY’d . A couple of friends tried to help but eventually they just gave up and didn’t really want to be out in the rain. It rained all day. So half the decor couldn’t be done. The floral arch kept falling just a nightmare. I spent months while hubby was deployed DIYIng.
The ceremony space (my fault) had the chairs set up in a chevron vs. straight back style and it just looked disorganized for our wedding size. I was mentally done and couldn’t get past the fact that each day before and days after we’re 80 and sunny and it would likely storm on our day! It was getting worse with each hour. Our inside decor just didn’t work with the space well. It needed more color even though I felt all White would be classic. I’m really hurt and don’t mean to sound ungrateful but I could use some advice on how to best move past the day which wasn’t as smooth as most brides seem to have. Especially the rain and decor part.

26 Comments

Latest activity by Conny, on September 19, 2021 at 11:00 AM
  • Cece
    Rockstar November 2022
    Cece ·
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    First of all, I’m so sorry you didn’t get to have the experience you’d dreamed of and planned for. But, on the plus side, you DID get to marry the love of your life with your friends and family present. Will you be taking a honeymoon? If so, maybe you could plan something special then! Maybe you and hubby could repeat your vows in a romantic private ceremony, just the 2 of you, and hire a photographer to capture the moment, and do a little romantic newly wed photo shoot.
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  • E
    Dedicated October 2021
    Elise ·
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    I’m so sorry!!! I haven’t gone through this, but I would think that there are a lot of similarities to a covid wedding cancellation/postponement - the typical advice that “at least you married your love” just makes it sting even more!
    My advice would be to cut yourself some slack. Be sad, let yourself grieve. Try not to feel guilty about it. There is a great TED talk about getting through your emotions, like a tunnel, so that you can reset. Only after you’ve gotten past the sadness, will it be easier to see the positives - and the many things that didn’t go wrong! And do a quick search here for all the women who had huge post-wedding let down even when they felt everything went fine. My FH is the optimist in our family, so he would tell me to also remember that everybody wins some and loses some - and when we look at all of the good things in our lives we need to remember that sometimes the world has to balance out.
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  • Candace
    Devoted March 2022
    Candace ·
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    I'm sorry, that sucks. You worked so hard and then to be affected by something completely out of your control. I'm sure you're going through all the should'ves and could'ves, but at the end of the day people were there to see you and your new husband celebrate your love. Find your favorite photo of you two from that day and hang it up. It's done and now you can move on to make more memories together.
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  • Melissa
    Dedicated March 2022
    Melissa ·
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    Focus in the fact you got to marry your husband and although not everything went the right way, but YOU GOT MARRIED!!
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  • Katie
    Rockstar August 2020
    Katie ·
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    For what it’s worth, lots of great love stories have weddings with unforeseen circumstances - Marley and Me had a blizzard and their car broke down, Charlotte’s wedding to Harry in Sex and the City had multiple mishaps. My parents had a stormy wedding day and have been married nearly 40 years (they love telling the story all these years later!). Phoebe and Mike in Friends had a freak blizzard. Us brides are sooo hard on ourselves and our own worst critics. I’m confident when your photos come back, there will be beautiful ones you will cherish. I’m sure your guests had a great time and likely didn’t notice the decor wasn’t setup as you originally planned. Hope this gives you some peace ❤️ There’s a legend my family says that rain on your wedding day brings good luck and fortune. Sounds like you are the type of married couple that even a rainy wedding day won’t hold you back from happily ever after ❤️❤️❤️
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  • Samantha
    Rockstar May 2022
    Samantha ·
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    Look forward to getting your pictures back. Once you see them, you will remember the good moments and see that everything didn't look as bad as you might think it did Smiley smile Hang in there!

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  • M
    VIP January 2019
    Maggie ·
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    "I could use some advice on how to best move past the day which wasn’t as smooth as most brides seem to have."

    The first thing to do, honestly, is to stop telling yourself the story that most other brides have perfect wedding days. That simply isn't true. Most weddings have at least something that goes wrong. And comparing yourself to others never gets you anywhere good.

    So, the biggest issue seems to have been the weather, which you know perfectly well no one can control. So, why focus on it so much now? You talk about it as if the rain decided to personally make your day miserable. Stop giving weather so much power over your feelings.

    Now is time to bring all of the good memories of the day and your new spouse to mind. If you put your effort into that, the unfortunate memories will fade away.

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  • C
    Dedicated September 2021
    Conny ·
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    Thank you so much for your compassion. Yes, we plan to honeymoon in New Zealand in a few months Smiley heart

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  • C
    Dedicated September 2021
    Conny ·
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    Yes. First, we canceled our wedding due to covid and deployment then got rain on the day. It was a little challenging since last year it was 80 and sunny lol . I am going through the process and I am grieving it so I can move on versus pretending I was not affected at all. I did see the post-wedding blues and those posts have also helped me a lot Smiley smile

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  • C
    Dedicated September 2021
    Conny ·
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    That's such a great idea. Once our photos come in we will pick our fave and put it up in our living room Smiley smile

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  • C
    Dedicated September 2021
    Conny ·
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    YES, that's great advice Smiley smile

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  • C
    Dedicated September 2021
    Conny ·
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    This is so inspiring Smiley heart I am glad we did it in the rain as some of the pics don't even seem to show the rain. I need to re-watch these episodes for comfort lol Smiley smile Thank you for your compassion.

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  • C
    Dedicated September 2021
    Conny ·
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    Thank you so much Smiley smile

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  • C
    Dedicated September 2021
    Conny ·
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    Thank you for your input. I know you mean well but your delivery is a bit harsh. We had to cancel our wedding twice due to a deployment in a volatile area and then covid. Then it did rain when we finally did our wedding. It's human for me to feel slightly discouraged and even compare what the weather was during the last two occasions we could've married. It's simply a process as some others have said, its is OK to feel sad and then pick myself up and move on from the events of the day.

    Like I said in my post, I was looking for some compassion and advice here versus a further beating down on how I'm handling the process two days after my wedding, and why or how I am hurt.

    We are all different dear as humans--some of us simply feel a bit deeper and a harsh word when a dog is down isn't always helpful. I thank you so much for your input and wish you well.

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  • Sexypoodle
    Master October 2021
    Sexypoodle ·
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    Every wedding has some level of mishap. Honestly, for many if us covid couples, we’ve been dealing with wedding problems since the beginning of the pandemic. FH and I will be engaged for 3 years by the time we get married next month. That’s entirely too long!! But we had to deal with a 1- year postponement and then changing from one state to another. Ultimately, we decided last to cancel everything and simply elope with just the 2 of us in Hawaii (since that’s where our honeymoon is planned). I mention all of that because, ultimately, the marriage is what truly matters and FH and I are living that out firsthand. Our original wedding vision and plans no longer exist (just as your visions didn’t go as planned). But in the end, the outcome of getting married and celebrating was achieved! So, I’d say that it was a success!
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  • Cece
    Rockstar November 2022
    Cece ·
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    New Zealand is absolutely beautiful! If it’s in the budget, I would suggest finding a photographer there for a little newly wed photo shoot- the scenery there would be a stunning backdrop! Typically a one hour shoot is not very expensive. Maybe look for a photog whose style you like on Instagram. And if you really want a “do over”, pack your dress and do a private vow renewal while you’re there!
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  • C
    Dedicated September 2021
    Conny ·
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    This is SUCH amazing advice. Noted. Thank you for sharing. It’s a perfect imperfect day but it’s the love and marriage that maters . I’m doing better as the days go by and definitely a message on humility and not trying to control everything ♥️
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  • Sexypoodle
    Master October 2021
    Sexypoodle ·
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    Great to hear! And you should celebrate your first anniversary with a big party!!! That’s what FH and I plan to do. No one‘s going be at the elopement. So a celebration next year will be the only time we celebrate our “marriage“ with family and friends
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  • Sexypoodle
    Master October 2021
    Sexypoodle ·
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    ^^^^ I have no idea why I put the word marriage in quotation marks. Lol!!! I meant “wedding“
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  • Kk
    Devoted October 2021
    Kk ·
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    No wedding is truly perfect in execution. What makes it perfect is the love that the couple has for one another. So I'm sure your wedding was, indeed, perfect.


    But honestly, I agree with Maggie. Only you can control how you let outside forces affect you, especially ones you can't control. Instead of focusing on how bad the weather was, remember that a lot of people consider rain to be good luck on your wedding day. Instead of focusing on the decor aspects that weren't right, focus on remembering the look on your husband's face when he first saw you in your dress. Don't let the trivial aspects of your wedding be more meaningful than the love that surrounded you and your husband on that day. Because the people who were there are what matter, not the things.
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