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Ali
Expert March 2021

Married Finances

Ali, on October 1, 2020 at 9:08 AM

Posted in Married Life 32

I was just curious as to how everyone handled their finances after they were married or engaged. Did you fully combine or still have separate accounts? Any advice or suggestions would be appreciated!
I was just curious as to how everyone handled their finances after they were married or engaged. Did you fully combine or still have separate accounts?



Any advice or suggestions would be appreciated!

32 Comments

  • Mrs. Spring
    Master April 2021
    Mrs. Spring ·
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    We plan on keeping sepearate accounts for which our own paycheck goes to. And then have a combined account to use for paying rebt/mortgage and utility bills.
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  • MLS
    Dedicated September 2021
    MLS ·
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    Prior to being engaged we have our fiances pretty nailed down. Our accounts are separate and probably will remain that way. We already have bills scheduled to our accounts. We are 100% transparent and have access to each other's account if we feel the need. It's a system that works that I don't forsee a need to change once we get married. It took awhile find a good balance.
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  • Rita-Jean
    Devoted May 2019
    Rita-Jean ·
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    We have a joint account that we put the majority of our paychecks into (that I'm pretty much in charge of because he's not great at saving money, lol), and we kept our individual accounts for our "allowances," so we're not quite up in each other's faces on every little penny we spend.

    As just about everyone has said, it really depends on your relationship what works for you. I have friends that despise the term "allowance" when we're talking money stuff, but it works for me and hubby very well.

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  • Katie
    Dedicated October 2021
    Katie ·
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    We basically combined finances and divided responsibilities 50/50 when we moved into our first apartment together a couple years before we got engaged but our accounts were separate. Then we jointly bought a house and opened a checking account with our mortgage credit union for those expenses. We both added each other as authorized users on credit cards and it's made things a lot easier. I kept my savings and checking accounts that I had prior to meeting because it's easier for me and I like my bank. My (now) husband decided to close out his checking/savings accounts because he didn't like his bank and the fees were high so he moved all his finances to our joint account. After we got engaged in December 2019, we decided to try to live off one salary starting in 2020 so we can grow our savings and pay down our house/cars/etc faster to be debt free. So far so good, my salary pays all our essential bills and fun stuff. His is direct deposit into our joint account and growing our savings. We have had extensive conversations over the years on finances and diligently track our spending in excel sheets. We were both raised in collaborative households that believed what yours is mine and whats mine is yours. It doesn't work for everyone but we've been very successful thus far.

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  • Ali
    Expert March 2021
    Ali ·
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    Wow you guys are very smart and better off than we are so more power to you guys. I really like how you guys work together. That's what it's all about. We decided to keep separate accounts but also keep our joint accounts. We want to hold each other accountable for saving money and watching our spending. (Gotten us into trouble) I am dealing with accounts in collections, judgement and repo from last September because I wasn't smart when I was young and maxed out all my cards. We both have had to learn self discipline regarding finances because we both haven't mad the best decisions. When we met we also were both spenders because we didn't think about our future or future with someone before. So learning how to be financially smart together has been our struggle but we are open and honest about finances which is great.
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  • Tanyia
    Expert February 2020
    Tanyia ·
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    Negative. We keep our separate abs have a joint checking and savings that we both contribute to. We lived together before we married so paying bills— just carry on. The difference now is that we have a joint account, that’s pretty much it.
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  • Ali
    Expert March 2021
    Ali ·
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    That's what we are doing right now. It seems to be going well. We were just unsure if we wanted to totally combine or keep it this way. We decided to keep it that way for now. We can always change it
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  • Victoria
    Devoted June 2021
    Victoria ·
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    I'm engaged, but my fiance and I have opened up a joint checking and savings. Right now, we have separate accounts and it works for us. After we get married we do plan on putting our paychecks and savings into one account. Sometimes it can be hard to think about the whole "or money" thing, but if combining our finances doesn't work then we'll go back to having our own accounts. It's all about figuring out what works for you and your relationship Smiley smile

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  • Kari
    Master May 2020
    Kari ·
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    We lived together before marriage but had separate accounts. During that time we developed a system that generally works for us and feels fair in terms of sharing expenses and paying for things, so we didn't feel it was necessary to change that when we got married and have yet to create a joint account. We did get some checks addressed to both of us but didn't have any issues depositing into just one of our personal accounts. Maybe we will find having a shared account necessary/helpful once we file our first tax return as a married couple, or if we decide to have kids, but for now keeping things separate works just fine and we are comfortable with the balance we have found.

    I was talking to my mom about this and she told me she and my dad NEVER had a joint account and kept their money separate throughout the duration of their marriage. Some perks of keeping things separate: 1) it's easier to surprise a spouse with gifts, 2) it encourages you to trust your partner because you can't micro-manage all of their spending habits, and that trust and faith in their abilities to manage money can help strengthen your relationship, 3) it enables you to keep some assets separate, which can be helpful in the event of a bankruptcy or failed business, future divorce, managing and distributing of inherited funds, etc, 4) it can feel more fair particularly if the couple's earnings are very different from one another, and 5) it can prevent needless harmful disputes over spending. For example: my husband and I generally have similar values towards money (we both are very financially responsible and have excellent credit) but we have slightly different attitudes on spending, so I feel that keeping our money separate prevents me from nagging him about spending money on something he can easily afford but that I don't feel is a "necessary" purchase right now, etc. He's been super responsible with his money before he met me, so I don't need to go in and change anything to make our married finances work for us.

    If one of you is really bad with money (for example, gambling issues) and the other really good at it, combining at least some funds could help you better manage your overall money to reach your goals. It's also just as easy for the "bad decision maker" to go in and damage the system if your account isn't set up in a way that prevents that.
    Shared accounts can be set up so that either of you can access funds without the other (a Mr OR Mrs set-up, either/or), or so that both of you are needed to jointly access funds together (a Mr AND Mrs set-up).

    Not every thing will be best for every couple and there is no one size fits all approach. It also doesn't have to be all or nothing. You can always keep separate accounts that you use for personal things like clothes and nights out with friends and also have a shared account that is primarily for shared expenses like house bills, groceries, joint vacations, etc.

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  • Anna
    VIP October 2020
    Anna ·
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    We’re opting to fully combine. Two shall become one. We’re sitting down to set a budget to give each of us personal money to do with as we please when not have to ask permission about. Our engagement has been stressful financially. He’s been out of work for the last 2 months because of his prosthetic not fitting properly and me being adamant that working full-time in the ill-fitting equipment is not good for us long term, I just didn’t know it would be taking us this long to get the new one. We’re making it on my income but it’s been tight 14 days till I Do.
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  • Kaysey
    Super February 2020
    Kaysey ·
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    My husband and I combined our finances once we got engaged. Our savings accounts that were separate when we were dating are now combined to one account. We both have/had a checking account in our own names but we've added each other to them. We use the account my husband is the primary on to pay bills out of, but the account where I'm primary is the account we use for our "extras" that is not our savings; i.e. dinners, going out with friends to bars, bowling (my husband bowls in a league), hotels, trips, etc. We have 3 accounts total that we split our paychecks between - luckily we are able to do this easily b/c we can determine what percentage of our checks go into each account using the programs our companies use for our paychecks/pay stubs . Both of us have complete access to all 3 accounts, we just use them for different things.

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  • sophie
    Dedicated June 2021
    sophie ·
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    We have 2 joint accounts, one that we use for things like bills and anything that’s not a personal purchase, which we each put a percentage of our income towards, and one that’s savings. It felt too much like we were roommates when we were doing things separately, plus this way is so much easier. We still have our individual checking accounts, which the rest of the income goes into because we’re both pretty frugal but we both like to manage spending money differently and don’t feel the need to see everything the other is buying. If one of us struggled with managing finances we might handle it differently but it works for us.
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