We are almost a year in and it has been no different from dating! We lived together for 1.5 years before marriage so that made getting married basically a non-issue. We did also buy a house, finish the yard, get a puppy, and our cat got emergency surgery in the 9 months since our wedding. So like that all took a lot of energy, money, etc and sucked at times. But it had nothing to do with our marriage.
I feel like this old saying comes from when couples didn’t live together before marriage and there was a lot more pressure to buy a house and start a family right away.
This is going to be my second marriage (for FH too) and I’d say that the first year was super easy and flew by quickly without problems. It’s those subsequent years, especially after five that can get tricky. But I learned a LOT and now I feel like we have the “cheat sheet” when it comes to marriage 📝 Lol!! FH and I have had these discussions and both understand firsthand what it means when people say that marriage is work and takes constant effort for it to be successful.
I have only been married a few months, and nothing is different. However, we also lived together for about 5 years before getting married. As Megan said, that saying may be due to factors such as not having lived together before. I don't think being a newlywed in and of itself causes stressful/difficult situations. It is that nornally newly married couples are navigating stressful situations such as merging finances, navigating differences in lifestyles, possibly major purchases such as a home, and having children. These are difficult and stressful events that may make the 1st year of marriage difficult.
So our first year of marriage was hard but for us our year of being engaged was harder. But none of it was hard because of stuff with us it was a lot of family stuff we had to learn how to navigate and create boundaries around. But it’s all made us stronger.
I’m not married but my guess is this saying became popular because of couples NOT living together before marriage. People who had not lived together before (which was the trend in the past) had a tough first year adjusting to cohabitation
Nope! Our engagement year was our toughest, that was the first year we lived together so that was a big adjustment. That isn’t to say there weren’t tough things about the first year of marriage. Our first year of marriage consisted of a lot of boundary setting and family drama, which was difficult and unpleasant at times but once those boundaries were set the stress level went down considerably. Our first year really flew by, I still can’t believe we’ve been married for a year (and three months) now!
My first marriage, I remember about three weeks after the wedding, my husband and I got into a fight. I remember thinking “Crud! Now I’m legally stuck with this guy!” But we kissed and made up. Then about 3 months after the wedding, we bought a new home and moved. Other than that, it was smooth sailing!
We are at 9 months today. So far we’ve had one HUGE fight over something dumb. These past months have had their ups and downs, but to echo what others have said it had nothing to do with being married. Being married and being each other’s support and knowing we were going through it together made it easier. I think it also made us stronger and more of a team.
I think the original reason for that saying is because typically back in the day you would get married and move in together and start your life all in eachothers face sharing bank accounts and money but its not always that way now. You know their flaws and nastys and habits before or live together already. My FH and I are basically married without the certificate so our first year will probubly be the exact same as our typical life