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K
Beginner June 2021

Married 8/5/22

KH, on August 11, 2022 at 4:34 PM

Posted in Married Life 22

I just got married last Friday, and while the day was beautiful and nearly perfect, there are things that happened that bother me. I feel any other bride would feel the same way I do, but maybe not. I need your advice! To start things off, I had made arrangements the morning of the wedding for all...

I just got married last Friday, and while the day was beautiful and nearly perfect, there are things that happened that bother me. I feel any other bride would feel the same way I do, but maybe not. I need your advice!


To start things off, I had made arrangements the morning of the wedding for all my bridesmaids and the mothers to have their hair and make up done if they wanted. They all agreed to join aside from my MIL - who had hers done elsewhere. When I made the appointments, my new sister in law included her 3 daughters for hair appointments. This wouldn't have been an issue except for the fact that A) she never asked me if it was ok and B) the girls were not even in the wedding. My own daughter who was the flower girl did not even come to have her hair done. This was an annoyance, but something I tried to get over.


I should have prefaced this by saying that my husband and I have two kids, a son who is 5 and a daughter who is 2. Back in February I asked my future MIL if she knew of anyone who'd be willing to help with our kids the day of. She told me she was sure her nieces would do it. I took this to mean that I didn't need to worry about finding someone else. Months went by and suddenly she just mentioned someone else that I should use. I was confused by this, but assumed her nieces likely just wanted to enjoy the wedding. Cut to the day of at the salon, where the nieces in question show up to take care of my sister in laws daughters, instead of my kids as was discussed. I was shocked.


Now we head to the ceremony, where the groom's father was the best man and didn't hardly mention me in his speech, or my relationship with his son. It was mostly a speech about my husband and their relationship.


At the grand march, my brother was to walk in with my kids. He mentioned he was worried the kids would not cooperate (there was no reason for him being worried). So my new sister in law says - "my kids will do it! Go get them!" and sent someone in to collect her children. She was about to kick my kids out of my grand march when my maid of honor stepped in and told them to sit back down. Thank God for her. Also, my kids did just fine.


I have only just started getting photos back from some of our guests. The cream dress my MIL chose to wear (she swore she read or was told that's what the mother of the groom is supposed to wear) appears much like my ivory dress. I invite you to google what the mother of the groom should not wear (*hint* - it's not white, cream, or ivory). I am afraid to see my actual wedding photos.


Now, if only one of these things happened I would not have been as upset, but the combination of all these situations made me feel like others were taking advantage of the fact that I am not the type to stand up for myself because I hate confrontation. My husband tells me I am being selfish and since they paid for some of the wedding they should be able to do whatever they want. I obviously disagree. It was MY wedding day!


Thoughts???

22 Comments

  • Eula
    Savvy June 2022
    Eula ·
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    I'm sad by your husband reaction to your feelings. to say your selfish is hurtful and to me i wouldn't tolerate that reaction. I would say that's probably the most disappointing thing in the whole scenario.

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  • K
    Beginner June 2021
    KH ·
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    Hi Eula,


    Yes I agree. He apologized for his words, and we both agreed that he needs to be more supportive of his wife. I have brought up some of my issues with what happened with the people involved, and while he tells me he supports me, it’s best that he just stays out of the conversation. Then no one is forced to choose sides and I don’t feel unsupported. Best thing for our marriage.
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