Marriage is making me anxious

A couple of things.

1. Have you been screened for postpartum? Having a baby is *hard* on your body in a gazillion ways, and it could be manifesting itself this way.

2. Have you spoken to your husband at all? He may not realize you're feeling blah, if you're not open about it. There's a strong chance he's feeling a little stuck, too.

3. The pandemic has really cut people off from their support systems. Is there anyone safe in your bubble who can look after baby for a few hours while you two have some time to yourselves - even if it's just doing the shopping together?

4. I can't recommend couple's therapy enough. Such a great help in strengthening communication and connection.

Good luck!

I recommend you give your relationship some serious thought. No need to possibly end things now as long as he's not being abusive. Many ppl throw the towel in far too quickly so please give it thought before giving up. Is ot possible you could be struggling with postpartum?

Aw, def talk with your hubby because he may be feeling similarly! I'm sure having a baby is additional stress and this pandemic really tests the limits on how much we can handle with stress. Honesty is the best policy! Def see if you two can set aside some one on one time.

H and I were feeling the blah - except I didn't know he was and he didn't know I was (and we only have a dog) - we had a big blow up argument the other day because of it - but by the end of the argument, we were back on the same page and both feeling better and more appreciated/needed/loved. The pandemic is causing a great deal of mental stress that many (most) of us have never dealt with before. For us, part of the issue was he didn't realize how trapped I feel being home *all the time* and I didn't realize how much he feared bringing covid home. Talk to your husband. Have a special dinner. See about counseling.

How old is the baby? The first year is SO EXHAUSTING. It’s all new, both of you are getting used to a new role, your body is still adjusting...it’s one of the biggest changes you will go through.

View Quoted Comment I second all of this. Postpartum depression is very real and very common. Even without that, the stresses of a new baby can put a strain on a relationship. Pepper in a global pandemic that has left most people cut off from support systems and stuck inside most of the time, and you have the perfect recipe for feeling disconnected, anxious, depressed, etc. Open communication is huge in a marriage, so talking to him, if you haven't already, may help. And a couple's therapist can be great for facilitating those tough conversations. Also, don't forget to be taking care of you! Self care is so important. You can't give from any empty bucket, so if you are just pouring all of yourself into the baby and not giving yourself an opportunity to recharge, it's not uncommon to start feeling the way you described.

My fiancé and I lost our connection when our first child was born almost 4 years ago. I was also suffering from postpartum depression which made it worse. It took some time and lots of communication to get back into the groove of our relationship. Is there anyone who can watch the baby for just a few hours so you two can go on a date? I found it helpful to do things we used to do before having our baby. Even just making time for each other when baby is napping or down for bed is so important if you aren’t comfortable leaving your baby yet.

You know sometimes relationships go through periods or phases or things aren’t as exciting or things are just different compared to how they were before. You know maybe you guys just need some new excitement somehow to reconnect

You need to talk to your husband and be honest about how you are feeling.

It is important to date your spouse. You two should work on planning/scheduling time for just the two of you. Go to dinner (or order in with a babysitter), go see a movie, plan a weekend getaway for just the two of you. When you spend all of your time being parents and don't take time to be a married couple, it will eventually take a toll on your relationship.

I'm so sorry you are feeling this way. How old is your baby? There is a good chance you could be experiencing postpartum. When you have a baby you have rush of hormones that can make your feelings and emotions run wild for upwards of a year or more after giving birth if it's not treated/maintained. I also 100% suggest talking to your husband about how you are feeling. Communication is one of the many keys to a healthy marriage. You and your husband cannot work though issues unless both individuals know there is an issue/problem. You have to let each other know how the other is feeling. I pray you will both be able to sit down and talk about what's going on. I know a lot of people are not a fan of counseling, but marriage counseling may also help.

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Thanks very much for the advice girls much appreciated. My baby girl will turn 2 yrs old this June, she's so lovely. I am working on myself and trying to be the woman he married all those years ago. Well ten years ago. I told him how I felt and all that stuff. He said it's all in my head. And I keep everything to myself. You know like I am there but my mind is occupied somewhere else. I know this is true! I find myself drifting in and out about thoughts. Like my health anxiety. It's going to be a long road ahead.

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All of this!